I don't understand why they got so upset. I mean, she obviously was only trying to say that gay people have it harder in society than straight people, which is true. Obviously she was saying it in the wrong way because she was nervous but they should of known that she wasn't trying to hate on gays.
shareThey definitely did. I understood what she was trying to say, but they didn't really give her a chance to explain herself before jumping down her throat. She wasn't making her point very tactfully, but still...I think they were pretty terrible to her from the word go.
shareI initially ge/understand her first question regarding does being a deaf gay man in an interracial relationship affect the adoption process however when Diane Keaton's character TRIES to laugh it off that should have been the end of the subject but SJP's character kept going on and on and didn't realize or maybe she did but didn't feel that it was that bad of a question (I.e. that they already have so much hardships; deafness, gay, interracial) why bring a child into that hardship that was borderline wrong of her. I get that that is her opinion, but she didn't need to voice it at the dinner table. Not in front of Thad (the deaf guy's) parents nor in front of a little girl. She doesn't have to agree with their choices nor does she have to respect it but when people tries changing the subject several times that should have been her clue to shut up and keep her opinions to herself. It's not her house, that's not her family and it's not her life; she should have respected her boyfriend Everett enough not to insult his brother.
shareNot only did they overreact, but they deliberately did so just for the sake of attacking her (once again). They had apparently made up their minds to dislike her even before she entered the house (shame on the mother for laughing along with that overaged brat Amy when she told her the story of their first meeting, instead of telling her to behave herself and try to show respect for their guest, and by the way, get your filthy butt off the kitchen counter while you're at it!). What was particularly cringeworthy about that scene was the way everyone was so pleasant and polite to Meredith's sister Julie, after failing to show any friendliness to Meredith at all. So they weren't blind to their obnoxiousness after all; they could be nice when they wanted to be.
No, Meredith didn't need to voice her opinion, but the whole subject wouldn't
even have come up if her sister hadn't started asking the couple prying questions about the adoption in the first place--what race of baby did they prefer, etc.
Why is that her business--it's not her house, her family or her life, either.
The mother didn't jump down her throat for asking such personal questions, because she didn't have it in for Julie. But the moment Meredith, assuming that she, like Julie, could play devil's advocate and ask probing questions, chimed in awkwardly, the mother swooped down on her broomstick and started peppering her with leading remarks, till an uncomfortable Meredith put her foot in her mouth, and then she and the usually docile father started screaming at her.
As for making remarks in front of the little girl--that little brat wasn't exactly an innocent cherub. She was already on her way to growing up to be an ill-mannered jerk just like her nasty Aunt Amy, as evidenced by her going into Meredith's things without asking and breaking her shoes and offering her no apology, so she obviously received no discipline from her fool of a mother.
As for respecting her boyfriend--where was Everett's respect for her? Why didn't he stand up for her in front of his hostile, judgmental family and tell them that he was a grown man, he could marry whomever he liked, he didn't need
approval for his choice of spouse from his mommy or the idiot sister, and the least he could expect from them was that they treat his guest and potential wife with a minimum of cordiality?
By the way, I don't agree with Meredith's views and I'm a liberal. Maybe I hate this movie even more because of the way it panders to the liberal audience it seems to be trying to attract. On that level, it fails miserably. The whole family comes off as a bunch of hateful boors.
I'm not crying, you fool, I'm laughing!
Hewwo.
I agree with you tmaj - she should have stopped once they started deflecting and making jokes. She had the nerve to give her sister a hard time when she asked if they cared about the childs race.. but then she had the nerve to go on and on. I get it though, she was already nervous and felt she didn't fit in so she was 'trying to hard' as her new buddy Ben pointed out. We all do it sometimes. I remember being so uncomfortable when I met my first boyfriends family - 7 siblings... I was so nervous and not myself, I took everything personally and .. couldn't relax because I had decided they didn't like me before they even met me (partly my bf's fault because he told me how much they loved his prior girlfriend.) Insecurity will do the strangest things to a person.
Anyway, I related to the movie in many ways.. and yes, I thought SJP did a good job of playing the uptight person.
Think about it though. Wouldn't you be mad at someone,anyone, if they thought and said out loud that your gay/deaf child wasn't normal? I would be a little pissed off. I get that they didn't like her from the start anyway but she wasn't really helping her case by saying any of that.
shareIt's interesting to listen to SJP's voice over on the DVD regarding the scene. It wasn't only the fact that the family hated her, but to add insult to injury, the family loved Julie from the moment she walked in the door.
Meredith was not trying to make a point, but really, was only attempted to engage after Julie questioned if there was any preference as to the child's race, which was not only accepted, but was comforted for having asked the question.
Yeah exactly, I understood Meredith.
I'm gay and I wish I was born heterosexual a lot of the time.
In fact I felt the comment the Mother made about "trying to make her children gay" was much more offensive and patronising than anything Meredith said
In fact I felt the comment the Mother made about "trying to make her children gay" was much more offensive and patronising than anything Meredith said
I can understand what she was saying. Ask any parent if they would prefer their child to be gay or straight 99.9% will flat out say straight. Like most people will want their child to marry within their race. There is no bigotry or racism here, it's a fact that the vast majority of people will want their child to be straight and marry within their race.
I don't think it was appropriate for her to say anything though.
And yes the family were vile to Meredith, and the mom especially. No you may NOT give that beatch my mother's ring! What a cow.
Yep, 100 percent agree. Mere shouldn't have said it, but I got what she meant. Family of jerks.
shareWell put cherrypop. I'm gay, but wasn't offended by what Sybil said about secretly hoping her boys would all be gay. She was sort of taking a bit of license, putting a spin on what most parents feel about their gay children, secretly wishing they were straight, so I understood where she was coming from.
Furthermore, You see in no uncertain terms that she was terrible offended by the statement and to protect Thad, she was trying to make light of it, hoping the conversation would end.
I don't think the family were jerks, not at heart anyway. What did come across in the film to me is that they loved each other very much. It's not that they hated Meredith,(she was completely accepted by the family later, but for Ben), they just knew Everett was making a mistake trying to marry before his mother died and was marrying someone he didn't love.
If you're a fan of the film, I'd highly recommend buying the DVD. There are several on eBay with shipping for less than ten bucks, for it's worth buying just to listen to the narrative tracks. They're are two separate tracks, one with Parker and Mulroney and the other with the directors and combined there are tons of details that will probably make you like the film even more. Buy it and pull it out next December. That's what I do anyway.
What did come across in the film to me is that they loved each other very much. It's not that they hated Meredith,(she was completely accepted by the family later, but for Ben), they just knew Everett was making a mistake trying to marry before his mother died and was marrying someone he didn't love.
Oh Lordy.
I think I'm going to hold a big party this Christmas, invite all my IMDB buddies,(well a few might not get an invite, they're kinda nutz), so we can all get sauced on Egg Nog and watch the film.
That or send copies of the DVD to the naysayers with instructions to listen to the director's narrative reel. There's actually two narrative reals, the second being Parker and Mulroney in which Parker really defends Meredith's actions.
Point being, if you want to get the film, you have to get both sides and than look beyond the dialogue, for the majority of the story isn't spoken.
I see, people who don't agree with you don't understand the film? Bless
I 'get' the film. I also understand Sybil's concerns for her son, I just don't excuse rude, cliquey and unwelcoming behaviour.
There's actually two narrative reals, the second being Parker and Mulroney in which Parker really defends Meredith's actions.
Okay, you go girl!
shareI thought they totally overreacted. And, like you, I got her point that no parent really wants their children to have a harder time from society. However, Meredith should have dropped the subject when it started getting tense and she missed the clues.
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