Funniest Review ever. - The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005) Discussion

[–] SilentSerenity 16 years ago

Had to have been a little kid, either that or someone with mental issues. Just the way he went into detail about every little aspect of the movie shows that. Generally movie reviews don't point out every little nook and cranny of the entire film and it's color. Anyway, it was a bit amusing... I feel a little sorry for when that person finally realizes how big of an ass they appear to be with their review... but if they enjoyed the movie, then more power to em'. I thought the movie was garbage before I turned it off.

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."

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[–] alank47 16 years ago

wow, a small town surrounded by a dessert?
please tell me it was evil cheesecake!
he writes like a small child, but he's 19..
it's such a weak review on such a terrible film.
if people like him like it, it must be terrible.

i hate when people answer questions i didn't ask!

look
"Yes, that is important just because you don't know why the hell they are killing people for no reason. Yes, this was told but the way was told was hardly noticeable thinking that they didn't say anything about it. "

^_^

and yes, that's a direct copy and paste.
thanks for asking

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[–] hoboboxerjoe 16 years ago

Yeah, and you insulting people by implying that they are terrible for liking a movie makes you so superior. You're probably one of those "mind-bullies" where you find people who can't spell, type, or write. Maybe just aren't as smart as you are and seek them out to belittle them to make yourself seem smarter then you really are.

Yeah, I see that, you have to point out spelling errors and trivial crap like that as a way of degrading someone. His review was amaeturish sure, but it was better then a lot of the crap reviews posted up on this site.

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[–] El_Sarcastro 15 years ago

Mind Bullies lmao

"It's ok to play with dolls!"

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[–] syndic_calls05 16 years ago

I think I threw up in my mouth reading that. Why do I have to be a part of this absolutely retarded generation, one unable to construct a sentence for the life of them . . . let alone know the difference between their *beep* peach cobbler and vast stretches of sandy wasteland... Oh and that isn't to mention the obvious - the disturbing inability to differentiate between a good and bad film. Someone throw me a shovel so I can dig my peers a mass grave.

Effect without a cause, sub-atomic laws, scientific pause - synchronicity

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[–] christopher-77 16 years ago

Syndic,

There is a silver lining to every cloud.

If this is your peer group, you should feel confident knowing that in 5 or 10 years they will pump your gas. They will bring you coffee. They will deliver your paper.

And you my friend will be the management.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with pumping gas or paper routes. But kudos to you Syndic, for actually reading a book or two and your ability to write coherently. :)

Take care,

... Christopher

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[–] Sodominion 15 years ago

The reviewer seems like a guy who's intelligence is less than a pigeon. For example this is what he put in the cons section

Cons: One plot-hole and an appearance by Dennis Hooper.

Dennis Hopper was actually the reason why I watched this pile of crap in the first place.
Some lines just made me LOL.

the director behind the camera has a very nice presence as the action sequences are somewhat in fast mode with a slow feel to it that it makes the action scenes seem a bit intense and they are entertaining and pretty intense.

The movie does not at all seem boring nor uninteresting as the the plot holes(most of them) are filled in while Edward Furlong(The Crow) does his action scenes.

Hey, if you think I'm lying about this being a really good movie, then you obviously haven't read any of my movie reviews because I have come across some really bad movies which in turn critics say they are the BEST movie ever!

Damn there should be some law or some *beep* that stops people like this from using the internet. Spreading idiocy should be a crime imo. =P

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[–] knuckles_and_sonic 15 years ago

Actually...any of you ever thought that english might not be his first language?

Either that or he didnt spell check it lol

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[–] najimadesigns 15 years ago

spell check wouldn't account for the grammatical errors throughout the entire review.

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[–] lucas9648 15 years ago

i mean come on! give the guy a break, he obviously has a eye for acting talent as when he gives tara reid a great review, she's probobly the greatest actress of our generation for fu$# sake!

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[–] lucas9648 15 years ago

oh, and edward furlong IS oscar worthy!!!! in the game of life if nothing else!!!

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[–] El_Sarcastro 15 years ago

Read it again, absolute gold dust. Probably my favourite line has to be

"The direction of the director has a nice, semi Mexican and abandoned imagination"

"It's ok to play with dolls!"

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[–] life_is_like_water 15 years ago

I especially enjoyed the reviewer's assessment of Emmanuelle Chriqui's acting in the film:

"She isn't in the movie too much, maybe in three or four scenes but when she's on there, she's practically good with her emotions and just plain acting."

Here's another gem concerning the sound effects:

"The sounds; explosions, effects from a punch or kick, electrical sounds, add-ins for the music, etc. are really good as it's a bit louder than the voice acting(which does get a bit annoying) as the voice acting is easy to hear but the music and effects totally get in the way BUT it doesn't hurt the enjoyment of the film."

What a sentence! I am now going to read all of this man's reviews.

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[–] jhorton2003 15 years ago

It could possibly be a joke. You guys ever read the jokey reviews on Aintitcool?

Either way, it's funny.

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[–] BigPoppaMerf 15 years ago

Using... ellipses... does... not... make... you... seem.... witty... or intelligent... or edgy.... It... just... makes... you... look... like... an... idiot.

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[–] sarcasm83 15 years ago

HAHAHAH.

"Edward Furlong is really THE highlight of the film as his performance is so moving with sorrow and emotional train-wreck, it's highly enjoyable as his appearance on the film is touching _SINCE HIS OTHER PAST MOVIES WERE DUDS_ but Edward really pulls the Crow off really well and he makes one hell of a Crow!"

OK, so American History X and Terminator 2 were Duds and Crow: Wicked prayer is a masterpiece.

I so hope that's a TROLL, nothing more :D

I haven't yet even watched Wicked prayer. I've tried 2 times now. Once high, but I just didn't want to waste it, so I watched a good movie instead.

Now I tried, since I have nothing else to do. But for some reason every time I see David Boreanaz, I know I'm in for crappy entertainment. (Angel, Buffy, whatnot lame teen series) And then Tara Reid shoots a rifle. And then David Boreanaz looks "SERIOUS AND DRAMATIC" like he always does in those teengirl series and his NAME IS DEATH :D :D :D :D

And the whole speech that Emmanuelle Chiriqui gives about the Crow.. the same *beep* thing I've heard in all the movies and it was successfull only in the first one. And "The crows power comes from love"... Oh God. Just too much, too damn soon. I mean the opening credits were still pretty much rolling and I'd already come to a conclusion that I pretty much can't bear to watch the whole movie in one sitting.

I've watched THE most horrible movies, but this is just unbearable.

ok, I was interested about Edward Furlong being in it, since I think he did an AMAZING job in T2 and American History X, but.. he definately isn't a "movie saver" actor.

But yeah, I guess I'll TRY and CONTINUE the movie. I got 13 minutes. Saw danny trejo as a priest...

Oh lord, I bet my IQ will drop at least with one point if I really watch the whole movie through.

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[–] nodurxshn 15 years ago

LMAO....nice thanks for the link i laughed till puke came out of my nose ..here is my favorite part of that rant..."NO MORE POSITIVE REVIEWS! It's not a bad movie folks, it really isn't!" ahahha it's like a really lame self contradiction...i really believe edward furlong wrote that review because the writer is all over eddies sack..thanks i got more entertainment from that review than i did from the movie. please no more *beep* crow movies

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[–] morbid_angel139 15 years ago

There should be a law against arrogance like this. "I'm so much better than this guy because he likes a movie that I hated! WHAT AN IDIOT OHLOLOLOLOL!"

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[–] andre-artus 14 years ago

To be fair: I think there are reasons to feel superiour to the reviewer other than their questionable taste in movies.

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[–] Ryo7 15 years ago

No part of that was amusing in the slightest...

"Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the Gun" - Army of Darkness - Ash (Bruce Campbell)

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[–] TheLordofTheHarvest 14 years ago

The worst part of the review was when the reviewer praised Tara Reid's performance, and claimed Dennis hopper was horrible. The man needs to be shot for saying something like that.

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[–] CannibalCraig 11 years ago

The part that had me cracking up was when he said that Furlong's other movies were duds. I guess he forgot about Terminator 2?

I'm just a guy that likes horror flicks.

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