MovieChat Forums > The R.M. (2003) Discussion > Question for all Mormons

Question for all Mormons

posted 18 years ago by TaddWinter
15 replies | jump to latest

Now please hear me out I am not going to be hostile or hateful in anyway I just have a question. I am 20 year old living in Utah and this more pertains to Utah Mormons because I have heard that none Utah Mormons are what people in Utah call "Jack Mormons". My question is for Utah Mormons. And here is the question....

Why are Mormons so Judgmental? Let me exlain I am a nice person I help people that need help. I will pull over on the highway and give someone a hand or spot someone a dollar at the store when they are short. I love to bring a smile on a childs face like at and arcade get all kinds of tickets and give them to a kid. If I say so myself I am a good person, and I have found the girl of my dreams and we both love eachother a lot and her parents found out we are dating (I also don't believe in premartial sex) and are going to kick her out of her house because I'm not Mormon and I just don't get how they can judge me they have never met me.

Even further back when I was a kid, other kids in the neighborhood were told they were not to include me in their group because I didn't go to church.

Please don't get defensive but the Mormon Church has driven me to not believe in Orginized relgion. I believe in God, I believe he watches over me and guides me down the path but I don't believe any church can or should tell me how to live my life or what to believe and what not to believe.

Please help me understand because I don't want to get between my girlfriends parents and her, but I believe she is my soulmate and I don't want to loose her over this prejudice.

[–] TaddWinter 18 years ago

Come on at least someone admit you don't know if you don't but if you do then please explain it to me.

And I am not saying all Mormons. I live in Utah so I am around a lot of them and I haven't had a problem with them all just some.

I know this doesn't have a lot to do with this movie but I get good answers on these boards usually. if you don't want to answer fine but please remember just because someone isn't Mormon doesn't mean they are the Antichrist.

[–] sterling32157 18 years ago

It's not that they think you're the Antichrist. It's probably just that Mormons believe that families can be together forever if they are sealed in the temple. And to even go to the temple you have to be Mormon.

Another thing they could be thinking about is the children you would have. Being Mormons, they want all of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren to be Mormons. And if a Mormon marries a non-Mormon, then it is quite likely that the children will follow in the footsteps of the non-Mormon parent. So because they want Mormon grandchildren, they want a Mormon son-in-law.

Although I do not live in Utah, I am a Mormon and I have a cousin that had to make the choice between marrying a non-member or not. In the end he did not marry her for basically the reasons I have written above. While I guess it could possibly be that her parents think you are a bad person because you are not a Mormon, it is most likely that they don't want you marrying their daughter for the reasons above.

So anyway, I hope that helps a little.

[–] TaddWinter 18 years ago

I understand the concern now that they are pointed out, thank you for answering.

I don't agree with it of course but I'm not going to press on it anymore I am just going to keep dating my amazing girlfriend and hope it all works out and when and if the time comes if I get married I won't push the kids either way as long as the children walk the right path with god and grow up good people I will always love them.

Thanks again for answering my question you did give me some perspective on the other side of the tracks.

[–] rowan_red 18 years ago

I've known plenty of Mormon parents whose children dated nonmembers, and they did not react this way. In fact, my son is dating a Roman Catholic girl. I've had some talks with them about things, but wouldn't dream of trying to "forbid" them from dating.

[–] SantoAnderson 18 years ago

Unfortunately when an individual has a certain belief, and they somehow find another with the same belief, they hook-up. And guess what, They're an organization. I will admit that certain religions are hostile and judgemental, but those particular organizations give the whole sha-bang a bad rap. I've dated non-members before, and they were good people, but to turn the tables, when I told them that I was Mormon, they became very "judgemental." The first few questions were inquisitive, but all that followed was mean-spirited. So "some" Mormons aren't the only judgemental one's around.

[–] artisticash 16 years ago

Some LDS people really are judgemental. I myself am LDS, and the way people act at church really allows me to see why some people in my family never want to go again. My uncle ust got off of his mission last month and we were talking. The people that he and my mother grew up with were the snobbiest mormons. I know some people that are like that, and it's sad. Now, here's where this is what I believe, so just hear me out. God sends us down here for a reson, and with a message. If we become judgemental and think, "Oh, she doesn't go to church, how terrible! What kind of example is she setting?" then we've forgotten that message. For example. Same sex relationships don't really bother me all that much, because they're really nice people a lot of the time. I don't NECESSARILY have to like what they're doing - Heck, I don't like some of the things oppisite sex relationships do blegh. So to be judgementality truly blinds people. The fact that your GF's parents even think of kicking her out of the house is sad. And they hadn't met you? Do they really see what God wants them to do? Sorry, but it's sad.

[–] Norway1 16 years ago

This will probably piss a lot of Mormons off, but here's the truth as I (born and raised Mormon and still attend church every week) see it:

Mormons are so judgmental because we are indoctrinated (brainwashed) to be from our very early years (basically from age 2).

From our first year in "Primary" (Sunday School for kids) we learn how vital it is to marry in the temple, and that anything less will disappoint God, and not allow us to be with Him after this life.

Because of this and other doctrines we are taught, many MANY Mormons (thought not all thank goodness) see people outside the church as less enlightened, less spiritual, less "good" and even a threat to our (and in your case, our children's) spirituality - and yes, ultimately, our/their eternal welfare.

That sounds horrible but that's the honest truth. (No offense to anybody!)

I guess it may come as no surprise that I disagree with this kind of prejudice, but there's the background for it nonetheless.

I can only hope that your girlfriend's parents give you enough of a chance to get to know you and judge you on who you are, rather than who you are not. If they don't, their daughter is very likely to turn away from them and the church.

Good luck! :)

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] senior_boy 16 years ago

Most of the LDS people I know are very tolerant, so I don't think that the majority of LDS people are prejudiced against non-members, though goodness knows there are some who are.
There are 12 million members, so I think it is impossible to say whether most of them are judgmental or not.
It is sad, because there are those few people who give the LDS religion a bad name with the way they treat non-members and investigators who decide not to join.

However, I do disagree with the "brainwashing" idea, because how many teenagers leave the church who have been taught it their whole lives? There are a lot. Lots of people leave who have been all through Primary.

[–] Norway1 16 years ago

how many teenagers leave the church who have been taught it their whole lives?

Sorry, but what exactly does that prove? They weren't paying attention?

[–] senior_boy 16 years ago

Sorry, I should have clarified.
I meant that there are lots of people who have been "goody-good" (for lack of a better phrase) mormons for their whole lives, and yet they still leave. It shows that Mormons aren't brainwashed/hypnotized/whatever, and that lots of members still make the choice to leave.

[–] Norway1 16 years ago

I think you're getting to hung up on the word "brainwashed" - change it to "indoctrinated" or something less offensive to you and maybe you'll get what I meant by what I wrote.

Contrary to what most members think, "brainwashed" doesn't mean everybody acts like robots. It just means they are "taught" to think a certain way. Not everybody ends up following the recipe, but for the most part LDS young-adults have a common goal: to marry a return missionary for eternity in the temple. Nothing less would be acceptable.

[–] collin_a_1999 15 years ago

We will all find out the truth when it is all said and done. Period!

[–] lorindreese 14 years ago

What does that mean? Does it mean the the LDS is right and everyone else is wrong? That is the reason why people see Mormons intolerant idiots.

[–] collin_a_1999 14 years ago

It means that when we die we are all going to see what will happen at that time. If Mormons are wrong then we will know they were wrong!