MovieChat Forums > Chik loh dak gung (2002) Discussion > 110 things I learned from watching Naked...

110 things I learned from watching Naked Weapon

posted 13 years ago by wavemaninawe
4 replies | jump to latest

01. A teenage girl in a hoochie mama dress is more durable than a car.

02. The most important quality of a CIA agent is to be able to fetch coffee in under 20 minutes.

03. Just like the black guy in horror movies... the white chick in kung fu movies always gets killed first.

04. It's easy for a skinny teenage girl to break a grown man's spinal cord clean off with one hand. She can even catch him falling and do it in mid-air.

05. The 5th cervical vertebrae is actually the 3d-8th thoracic vertebrae.

06. Frostbite goes away as soon as you step into the sun.

07. If someone puts a gun to your head, but offers you his coat, he's really a nice guy.

08. It's possible to keep 40 girls away from guys & locked up together for 6 years, through raging hormones of puberty and only have 2 of them come out gay. Then again... the rest were too busy killing each other and dying to get their freak on.

09. Getting a pair of glasses scraped across the face is fatal.

10. Getting a pair of glasses poked to the side of the head is fatal.

11. Getting a toothbrush slammed to the clam is fatal.

12. It's actually possible to make kung fu look crappier than in the Matrix.

13. The best way to deal with a horny, hot girl who's trying to get into your pants is to dunk her in the water and tell her to cool off.

14. Pole dancing really isn't sexy at all.

15. If in doubt during a fight, stand on your opponents head and vogue.

16. The CIA spend a lot of time investigating missing children reports over seas.

17. Sometimes that whole zone out and use the Force thing works... other times it just gets you punched in the face.

18. A toothpick to the neck is fatal.

19. Graduation from assassin summer camp involves wining, dining and tag-team rape.

20. If you suspect that your previous enemy has relatives that might be on to you... the best course of action is probably to go after his best friend instead.

21. Research? Assassins don't need no stinking reasearch!

22. A skinny teenage girl can break a grown man's neck while hanging upside-down from a tree like a fruit bat.

23. Madam M. is actually Madam M. Bison before his operation.

24. There's always time for sex on the beach... even when your hot and loyal lover is off somewhere getting kidnapped and tortured.

25. Gangsta midgets get no respect.

Priests adore prophets, prophets resent priests

[–] dumakaa 13 years ago

hahahaha!

26. If an assassin kills your best friend, take revenge against the assassin and do nothing about the person who hired the assassin.

27. Spend years of training and millions of dollars to train 40 girls just too only keep 3 of them.

28. It's easy to find trainers who are willing to die for the sake of a training exercise.

29. Killing people brings in enough money to afford your own island and army of guards.

30. Madam M is ageless

31. It's easy to kidnap over 40 girls and bring them to an island no one knows about.

32. Aphrodisiacs really do exist

33. It's easy to fall in love with someone who wants to kill you.

34. In Asian films, the arrogant white men must die first.

35. Unlike Hollywood, in HK films, the Asian guy is Michael Jackson and the white men are Tito.

36. Skinny teenage girls are much stronger than musclebound killers.

37. No one will notice that at times during the film their lips aren't in sync with what they're actually saying.

38. Never make friends with someone who thinks they are invincible.

39. Smashing through a glass wall will have no affect on you, but flicking a tiny piece of glass at someones neck is fatal.

40. Taking off your panties during a seductive dance is ok because those same panties will magically appear back on you once the killing starts.

41. It is customary to give each other high-fives while raping teenage girls.

42. If you go to assassinate someone in the Philippines, you will magically develop the ability to fly.

43. In Hollywood, HK cinema, or any other genre of film the only black guy in the movie will always either be the criminal, gangster, or rapist.

[–] JenkzBruce 12 years ago

But your list is incomplete. I loved reading it. Where's the remaining ones? Good job!

[–] dumakaa 12 years ago

Add more

[–] pjkeay 12 years ago

Spain only has one morgue, called "morgue, Spain"

European police are generally not interested in mass assassinations and explosions they leave his to the CIA

If you're the coffee and donuts guy on a botched CIA operation don't worry you'll go on to head the operation up.

Assassins in Rome are able to get hold of Porsche cars several years before they're released.

Gangsters bodyguards never learn that beautiful prostitutes are almost always assassins

The Four Seasons Rome is in a suprisingly unbuilt up part of the city

A job offer by Madam M has man drawbacks

If you're trapped in an ice cream van don't try and draw attention to your fate by making a noise or commotion, sit down and prepare to freeze to death.

Hong Kong triads shoot you without aphrodisiacs before they kill you.

Spain suffers from Tropical storms, despite not being in the tropics.

Captive white girls in a prison camp will always look like they're from the ex pat community

Captive girls do not age well. An 8 year old girl, six years later will look she's in her early 20s

Madam M will try to make an early job close to your mums house

Madam M seems to have a deeply flawed business model

Despite being 200 miles from the nearest island, you may be able to escape by going under a fence.

When dozens of young girls go missing the logical conclusion the authorities draw is that they're being trained as assassins.

Hotels don"t allow Durian fruits to be brought onto he premises but do allow rocket launchers.

Hong Kong gangsters like doing quick business meetings on Chinese junks