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Top [...] Things We All Learned from Paycheck

posted 13 years ago by Greth_of_D
34 replies | jump to latest

I realize that this movie came out such a long time ago but I recently watched this movie (for the second time) and noticed that some of the delivered lines and action sequences were completely unbelievable and sometimes just plain arbitrary.

With that, I announce the arrival of the Top [whatever number] Things We All Learned from Paycheck.

[My list]
10. It is possible to avoid an unavoidable and disastrous future.
9. Cargo crates have more than one opening.
8. Hot spies look like your saggy, old girlfriend no matter what because they have the same eye color.
7. Crossword puzzles are really maps of computer chips.
6. Paul Giamatti truly CAN act in any rule he is given. (NO, this is not sarcastic)
5. Hundred million dollar lipstick exists!
4. It is possible to outrun a speeding train.
3. Everything explodes. Period.
2. When people are armed and ready to shoot you, they won't. Rather, they will explain their reason for threatening you in the first place.
1. DEKKER DIED!
[/List]

If there is anything on this list that you think should be changed to something better, please tell me. :)

Lastly, I hope you enjoy this list. That's what it's here for; please don't troll someone because their views are not the same as yours.

... all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."

[–] Natron 13 years ago

11. They don't have cell phones in the future.

[–] bureau203 13 years ago

12. They will let you into the same room as the most valuable machine ever invented, unsupervised, on the assumption you will fix it before you destroy it. It will never occur to them that you will disable the door so they can't get in.

13. The car chase supervisor for Smokey and the Bandit is still working in Hollywood.

14. When you have a gun pointed at a guy's face in the subway with a train rushing at you, the best way to disable him is not to shoot him, but to let the clip fall out of your magazine so you can disable him. And he won't shoot you, he will be satisfied to let the train do that.

"I've seen things that would make you want to write a book on how to puke."

[–] jeremy_brett_fan 13 years ago

15. I AM THE FUTURE.

[–] gagster 13 years ago

8. Hot spies look like your saggy, old girlfriend no matter what because they have the same eye color.

She didn't have the same eye color. She wore colored contacts as part of her disguise. Of course, if he could remember her well enough to know her eye color, you'd think he remember her well enough to notice all the other facial differences.

Her contact slipped a bit and that's when he became suspicious.

[–] mascisman 13 years ago

I always thought that he knew she was an imposter because her kiss was different from Uma's (his brain may not have remembered but his lips and his heart did...). But on his commentary track director John Woo indeed says that Ben Affleck understands that the girl is an imposter because of her contact lenses. (However the screenwriter on his commentary track says that originally Affleck understands because of her kiss. So it's a little bit of both I guess.)

[–] Dark-Road 13 years ago

16 - You Only Need 3 Years to Build The Future Machine .

[–] nancydrewadventure 12 years ago

17. When you take a peek at your future, then relize that you're about to be blown-up that very second, RUN!! Or... wait, DON'T RUN!!! Or... er...ummmm... oh crap!

[–] amgenus2009 11 years ago

lol, yea :)

Wait, I don't understand the million dollar lipstick reference.

[–] Hurry_up_N_buy 12 years ago

Wolfe says:
"So you're saying, he sent himself a different set of personal items, ones he'd selected after using the machine and nothing our security would flag?"

Aaron Eckhart says:
"Every day things, combined with the power of foresight and our engineer turns into an escape artist"

18. So apparently a bullet is an everyday item that security would never flag.

.............................................................................that's 100 characters

[–] parfyboy 12 years ago

19 even if your getting shot at an chased you never forget to wear your motorcycle helmet..

braces bread nuff sed!!!

[–] shellylynne2611-1 12 years ago

20. You can order the key to the janitor's closet at any mall and have it shipped to yourself.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."

[–] avortac 10 years ago

- FBI agents think it's ok to steal someone's stuff, because "he won't mind" (they are psychics, too, knowing whether someone 'minds' them committing that crime in front of him)

- FBI agents who smoke a lot, have never even thought what would happen if they smoked inside a room, where there are smoke alarms (this kind of situation just never happens to people who smoke, and they never have to think about it)

- FBI uses chairs that have electronically locking handcuffs and legcuffs for less intimidating and completely lawful interrogations - because it's just so much work to have to put the cuffs on manually (I wonder if the police in the future also has robots that cuff the criminals, because darn, having to lock some cuffs is just too much work for it not to be automatized!)

- When smoke alarms go off in federal buildings, they are accompanied with a blinking red light and pressurized gas/smoke (supposed to be fire extinguishing foam, or something, I guess) that completely immobilizes and blinds everyone in the room, making it impossible for them to find the exit and thus escape the flames - UNLESS they wear magical "see-through-smoke" goggles)

- When the smoke alarms go off, they automatically release all the locks to electronic handcuffs and legcuffs. Lucky, because if you had manual cuff system, the torture vict.. I mean, completely lawfully detained prisoner might actually not be able to escape the interrogation room

- When .. etc.., agents immediately rush to open the door of the interrogation room, and pop in, checking what's going on, just in case a prisoner might not be able to escape otherwise

- When all this happens, an engineer is able to beat up a number of trained agents without breaking a sweat (or much sweat anyway)

[–] chilone 7 years ago

19 even if your getting shot at an chased you never forget to wear your motorcycle helmet..

Pendejo...

I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!

[–] mssyk5 12 years ago

21. All skateboarders have long hair and steal.

22. FBI machine guns use red tipped rounds. And have a firing rate of 1.

23. In the future, birds no longer defecate.

[–] taxvictim 12 years ago

24. If you buy a new BMW motorcycle, the dealer will let you put on your helmets and ride it out of the showroom.

25. Big companies don't like their engineers to remember what they invented. Best to erase their minds so they can't help you later if something goes wrong. But the company should let new engineers, the lawyers, and all of the security guys know about it.

26. If you're a hot chick posing as a guy's girlfriend, the man talking in your ear will tell you everything you need to know to keep the charade going... except to tell you the guy's favorite baseball team.

27. The big Ford/Lincoln/Mercury sedans can keep up with motorcycles in a chase against traffic.

[–] sweetnirvana 11 years ago

ROFL at No 23

28. Rich guys have bad haircuts

29. The only way to stop a war is to start a war.

30. The only way to stop a plague is to start a plague, not vaccination/medication.

31. Uma Thurman can only act like she is in Kill Bill

32. While on a motorbike chase, a smart biologist will not secure the envelope containing invaluable items in her sling bag, instead she will hold it in her hands.

[–] bron-tay 11 years ago

>>23. In the future, birds no longer defecate.

LOL.

~~~~~~~
Please put some dashes above your sig line so I won't think it's part of your dumb post.

[–] noofy311 11 years ago

33. saying "I'm working backwards" helps you solve any problem.

34. damaged vehicles heal themselves in the middle of chase scenes.

35. Ben Affleck can't act.

[–] martzyanu 11 years ago

36. you can bring a spray and a lighter to a gun fight and still win that fight

[–] tim-dalinian-jones 11 years ago

37. Biology and Gardening are synonymous.

38. Immensely complex and difficult electromechanical engineering tasks aren't best addressed by co-operation within multi-disciplinary teams of experts, but by one bloke working alone.

39. Talented engineers trust their bosses so much that they'll allow themselves to be injected with substances they know nothing about.

40. An immensely complex future-predicting gizmo, with a non-standard custom user interface, is so simple to use anybody can just walk up to it, without any prior knowledge of how it works, and be getting results in seconds.

41. Smart FBI detectives are dumb enough to trigger fire alarms by lighting up cancer sticks under smoke detectors.

42. Given 41, all you need to escape a high security FBI interrogation facility are some cancer sticks and fancy sunglasses.

[–] psdhart 11 years ago

43. VHS (or so it seemed to me) is still around in the future - when Affleck's caracter watches the base-ball game

[–] bron-tay 11 years ago

37-42, Best yet!

44 - Bullets cannot penetrate a magazine stand.

45 - If you have an envelope full of invaluable clues to a huge crime that was perpetrated against you, instead of securing them you should let them slide around on your lap while riding a crowded bus.

46 - A brilliant engineer has his mind wiped repeatedly instead of drawing on his knowledge of past projects and solutions. (Corollary: technology doesn't advance.)

47 - A vague light area on your wrist constitutes proof that you are the owner of a standard-sized watch.

~~~~~~~
Please put some dashes above your sig line so I won't think it's part of your dumb post.

[–] fkelleghan 11 years ago

I laughed at all of these! Thank you, folks, for some funny ideas.

Gagster - great name for a comedian - wrote, "Of course, if he could remember her well enough to know her eye color, you'd think he remember her well enough to notice all the other facial differences."

So here is something that one can learn from other IMDb-ers: I have partial prosopagnosia, and I can't remember your face after a couple of minutes of looking at you. I don't mean to detract from the jokes at all. It's just that I can entirely believe that, after three years (it was only 2 years in the PKD story), Jennings might have trouble remembering facial details.

In fact, I thought it odd that he could remember anything unusual about an actress who was made to look so familiar; for me, it would have been her voice and body language which gave her away.

I also love the idea Bron-tay had of adding the squiggly lines above a sig. I'll do that from now on.

Fiona

~~~~~~~
Science first! And information: also first!

[–] melkiades 11 years ago

48 - Someone needs to fire Uma's hairdresser and makeup artist.

49 - I posted this message using my iPhone in 1973.

50 - When you have a 500 billion dollar company that has a problem with its crazy-ass invention, there's really no need to hire more than one scientist to comb through a septillion chips inside a gazillion motherboards using a cheap-ass UV light.

51 - When that said scientist tells you "I can find it", you can immediately order the assassination of the guy who virus-raped your 500 billion machine, since you are 100% certain that you won't ever need him / your one-team scientist will succeed.

52 - In the future government agencies still need a warrant to tap into phonelines. I guess Snowden's whistleblowing of the NSA saved our asses.

53 - Lew Ashby is alive in the future. Loved that guy.

[–] Rayvio 10 years ago

54 - the best way to get guys to hit on you at parties it to be made up to look as badly as possible

55 - some people are so self obsessed that even their own memories are looking at themselves

56 - FBI agents can single handedly let a suspect escape by breaking regulations to smoke and still keep their job

57 - when planning an escape don't bother buying an armoured car, just go with a motorbike

58 - any useful item is only ever used once and then can safely be thrown away, you'll never need it again

59 - it's easier to leave yourself silly clues than to send yourself a note

60 - when you receive a message telling you to "go", wait long enough to be shot multiple times before actually getting around to "go"ing. the nice people with guns will wait for you

~~~
"I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me..."

[–] imumtaz 10 years ago

If you are an engineer, you naturally have the skills of a ninja that works for the SAS.