MovieChat Forums > Normal (2003) Discussion > What exactly is normal?

What exactly is normal?

posted 18 years ago by dudley-ristow
11 replies | jump to latest

I caught this gem of a sleeper quite unintentionally one night and found it very touching. Jessica Lange's response to her minister giving her permission to leave her husband "leave him? she asks, how can I he is my heart" simply blew me away since it is so representative of what people accept from those they truly love. Anyway to all those who stand in condemnation of the subject matter, what exactly is normal? My take is that it depends entirely on one's own perspective - perspective being the operative word which makes me think of one of Oprah's shows where an ageing school counsellor who posed for lewd photographs was asked, loud and clear, by the talk host "what were you thinking?" OK, not an unreasonable question but a couple of days after that she had George Michael on and found his description of his public toilet episode and subsequent arrest most amusing, forgetting completely to ask him "what were YOU thinking?" ... .so again what exactly is normal?

[–] Isaac5855 18 years ago

Thank you for your compassionate post. Clearly, you were moved as deeply by this film as I was and, like you say, normal is in the eye of the beholder, pretty much.

[–] matttw 18 years ago

WOW. I COMPLETELY AGREE. IT OPENED MY EYES AND MY HEART. AND THAT OPRAH EXAMPLE IS JUST A GREAT EXAMPLE OF WHAT NORMAL REALLY IS. YOU ARE A GENIUIS.

[–] ishlako 17 years ago

as my psychiatrist used to tell me...

"Normal is a setting on the washing machine."

you can't really create a "normal" personality and apply that to everyone. that's why i loved this movie. it allowed for everyone in the movie to be who they are and express themselves openly...more so towards the end.

[–] the_darkness_of_poetic_humor 17 years ago

Oprah is more candid to the celebritities dudley if you haven't noticed that about her. Tom Cruise could go on a killing spree and Oprah would be right there in prison conducting a interview and holding his hand while he spilled his guts of why he did it......if it was anyone else Oprah would just say flip the switch and get it over with!!!

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Chaluta2 16 years ago

I don't think Oprah's saying that had to do with the person's age rather than their position as a school counselor and role model for young people. And of course, there isn't a real normal in my opinion.

[–] burgershmurger 16 years ago

normal is what the norm is. it surely isn't the norm to have the wish to butcher yourself and get rid of your testicles. this is definitely deviant and a self-castrating act. don't get me wrong: i loved the movie and felt for the hero but a bit more honesty in this discussion is appropriate. those people are mentally disturbed because it's against any sane's person's wish to have their sex organs removed and to lose the chance to have babies.

[–] mrsbookbabe 16 years ago

Most couples who are married 25 years have already had their family -- like this couple. Remember at one point Irma says she has gone through menopause. So both of these people have already had children, so I don't get your point, except you seem really angry. It's just a movie!

[–] astromangeo 15 years ago

Actually, transgender and transexual individuals are quite normal in India (the hijras) and Thailand (the kathoey), and were quite normal in Native American tribes (the berdache aka two-spirits). Many western cultures, however, push binary ideas of gender and biological sex and are not open to the possibility that gender and biological sex are a spectrum rather than a dichotomy. Perhaps it's more "normal" than you think and these people just hide who they so they're not discriminated against. Transgender individuals are found in virtually every society. So, it seems like a pretty normal occurrence to me.

[–] Ithilfaen 10 years ago

normal is what the norm is

But what *is* "the norm"? It changes from one era to another, one generation to the next, from country to country. Your "norm" is just a perspective enforced by social and religious taboos.

it surely isn't the norm to have the wish to butcher yourself and get rid of your testicles.

Again, you're using "norm" as if it meant "majority". No, most people are not transgendered. That doesn't mean they are not people like everyone else.

those people are mentally disturbed because it's against any sane's person's wish to have their sex organs removed and to lose the chance to have babies.

So people who get their tubes tied or who undergo vasectomy are mentally ill?
Also transgenders don't have their sex organs removed. They are altered.

You obviously lack empathy, even after watching (and loving even) the movie, and you focus on the wrong thing. I know most men would rather take a bullet in the head that lose their testicles but what you're doing wrong is that you're trying to understand someone else's life from your perspective. You can't.

I'm not transgendered. I can't never grasp what it is to be transgendered. Does that mean I should judge? On the contrary. How can I judge something I can't understand?
I'm a twin. Most people just can't get what it is to be a twin. Do they judge me for it? No. Then why should you judge others for being transgendered?

For every lie I unlearn I learn something new - Ani Difranco

[–] justinasher78-1 15 years ago

Being raised in the country, we were taught what was considered "boy" things and "girl" things. "Boy" things being the rougher of the two catigories contained baseball, basketball, football, cars, tools, hunting and fishing etc... "Girl" things was anything that your father wouldn't be caught dead doing. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, sewing and knitting. All the basics of a good wholesome southern mother. But from day one I have never been able to truly divide the two catigories and keep them completely seperate. I feel like there are no "girl" and "boy" things. If a girl plays baseball or works on cars, they are girl things because a GIRL is doing them. If a boy cooks, cleans, shops, sews or knits they are boy things because a BOY is doing them. This movie touched my heart in a great way. Besides being beautiful to look at, it was so humanistic and simple, yet very complex subject matterial. The final scene made me cry like a baby. When she gives Ruth the pearls my heart melted. This extenuating circumstance had become her "normal." Normal to me, is just what "you" are used to. What makes you comfortable and what feels like it fits. My "normal" is Raisen Bran and buttered toast, your normal may be Cocoa Puffs and Grapefruit Juice. The possibilities are endless.