Redneck jokes

You Might Be A Redneck If:

1.) You flush the toilet and the dog thinks you're giving him fresh water.
2.) Your front yard is on more than one prayer list.
3.) Your living room sofa came out of a Chevrolet.
4.) You have a bug light inside your house.
5.) You removed your bathroom door so you could watch TV from the commode.
6.) Your best china traces the career of Loretta Lynn.
7.) Your security system is the latch on your screen door.
8.) You've unstopped a sink with a shotgun.
9.) A tree falls through your roof and you decide to leave it.
10.) The Orkin man tells you, "Give up! You've lost."
11.) Your daughter's Barbie Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.
12.) Your outdoor light used to be in a mall parking lot.
13.) You get new yard furniture every time the creek floods.
14.) Youreceived rattraps as a wedding present.
15.) Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
16.) You think people with grass in their yards are uppity.
17.) Your coffee table is also a cooler.
18.) Your answering machine message begins, "If your calling about the free puppies..."
19.) You refer to your beer gut as "the old tool shed".
20.) Your landmower says, "Moo."
21.) You've ever inherited a toilet plunger.
22.) Nothing in your refridgerator was bought at a store.
23.) You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
24.) Your toenail clippers say Craftsman on the side.
25.) You've ever made a Christmas wreath out of a tire.
26.) You think millennium is what goes on your mama's kitchen floor.
27.) You've stolen turf from a golf course.
28.) You can tell your car is low on oil by looking at the garage floor.
29.) You dye your hair and clean your floors with the same stuff.
30.) Your shotgun sees more action than your lawn mower.
31.) You spray-painted your dead shrubbery green.

Larry the Cable Guy's signature is "Git-R-Done!". Mine is "Ike!", or "Hike!".

Ok, This one from one of the rare limey's whos heard of this...and loved it.

You may be a redneck if your parents were related BEFORE they were married.