Not bad... sorta does the story justice

I didn't realize this had been adapted until recently. I had a project in one of my screenwriting classes to adapt a short story and I did this one as well, except my version was about a movie critic and instead of the baseball diamond epiphany it was a revelation during "2001: a space odyssey."

I thought the beginning dragged on, but everything else was okay. I pictured a much bigger bank, though, and the narrator at the end came in a little weird. They should have started the narrator at the very beginning (like I did :)

Not bad though.