The love of your life isn't always the one you marry - Daniel Deronda (2002) Discussion

[–] ReganRebecca 19 years ago

Even though he and Gwendolyn obviously had a really strong attraction, I think that Daniel and Mirah were more alike and therefore more compatible as husband and wife.

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[–] i_hold_all_the_answers 19 years ago

I can't agree...I'm sorry...as the title of my post insists...I suppose it's true in this case

The fire baby...it will burn us both...always and forever...

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[–] Lovrofthearts 19 years ago

I myself, could never like Mirah. She was just too--whatever. Gwendolyn was the one I connected with from the beginning. She just seemed more natural to me, over the "virtuous" Mirah. I also thought that Daniel was really in love with Gwendolyn from the very beginning but, like all stupid men, he would never allow himself to face this truth. I think the two, Daniel and, Gwen would have been much better suited for one another, and dare I say much happier in the fact that their attraction to the other was to the last, strong and beautiful.
I'll always hate the ending to that movie.

Sincerely all,
Miss Jennifer J.

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." Jane Austen

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[–] i_hold_all_the_answers 19 years ago

The ending really gets on my nerves. Okay, she was a spoilt brat but she loved him so much. I think her lover for him got her through. And he did love her, he as good as said so...then he shanged his mind. I always felt he ended up choosing Mirah because of the pressure he felt after he found out who he trully was.

The fire baby...it will burn us both...always and forever...

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[–] ReganRebecca 19 years ago

Maybe I have such a different opinion because I've also read the book as well as seeing the movie. In the book, Daniel did have strong feelings for Mirah and was attracted to her from the moment he saw her. However, I guess in this miniseries it did seem more like he was in love with Gwendolyn.

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[–] wildeny 19 years ago

This miniseries favors Gwyn. Her beauty might be another reason why people can forgive her behaviors. I like her and sympathize her situation, but that's all.
As for Daniel and Gwyn, they are quite different towards life and people. I don't think they are really suitable for each other. However, I hate to see Daniel chose Mirah after he found out he is a Jew. Maybe the book can explain more about how he feels about Mirah, but not in this miniseries.

Probably the ending of this miniseries is the culprit for the rating lower than what I expect it to be. The scenery in the miniseries is very beautiful.

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[–] tsmith11169 19 years ago

i think he loved them both to be honest. i think he started to fall out of love with gwyn though and filled the void with when he met mirah. i think the feelings of love though he had for mirah (sorry im too lazy to go back and see how her name is spelled) werent shown in the miniseries but you could sense it somehow. this has me wanting to read the book now but it seems kinda long lol.

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[–] catemh1 18 years ago

I've read the book and to be honest I think Daniel was always confused about his feelings for Gwendolen. I think he did have strong feelings for her - so strong that at the end of the novel we are told he concealed them from Mirah.
Physical attraction does not always guarantee happiness and I think that's why he was reluctant to follow his heart where Gwendolen was concerned.
He had tender feelings for Mirah from the start and I think he recognised in her the qualities he wished for in a wife.

"I have read The Corsair, mended my petticoat, and have nothing else to do." JANE AUSTEN

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[–] i_hold_all_the_answers 18 years ago

'The love of you life isn't alway the one you marry'...never a truer statement uttered.

I love...and love...and love you
Where is my Mr Darcy?

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[–] Eviey 18 years ago

I actually think that he really loved Mirah and he just felt sorry for Gwen and wanted her to be happy. The moment of revalation when his mother points out that he loves a jewess... it is so obvious that he loves Mirah. Plus I think the point of the quote is that Sir Hugo didn't get to marry his jewess and the love of his life and Daniel Deronda did. That is why Hugo smiles at the wedding ceremony.

Hugo pointed out that Daniel always flirted with girls by listening to their sad stories and then making them feel better. It was the same situation with Gwen. Daniel was always looking to save people and I think while he did save Mirah (literally) she also saved him... if it wasn't for her he would never had looked for Ezra Cohen.

It was Mirah's song in Daniel's head all along. I personally loved the ending.

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[–] xDearAmbellinax 18 years ago

I don't doubt Daniel's love for Mirah, but it really screws Gwendolen. It almost seems unfair to her that he was always so kind and, dare I say it, loving. He pretty much led her to believe that he loved her, which it certainly seems that he did. I pity Gwen.

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[–] Jenn25 18 years ago

I think that I could have liked Mirah more if she were played by another actress. Jodhi May really got on my nerves. Her big nose and her nostrils always flaring with every word she spoke...I'm sorry, I know that's harsh but it drove me nuts. I didn't really get a sense of passion from her either. Mirah and Daniel were definitely soul mates, that was made very clear, but I found it hard to like her in the adaptation. I'd like to read the book and imagine the characters for myself. Romola was great but I don't think Gwendolyn was right for Daniel. He taught her to be a better person but he was too GOOD for her.

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[–] musicfan54 18 years ago

Goodness, it's a shame you didn't see any passion in Jodhi's performance. Jodhi is one of the most talented actresses of her generation and is, in my opinion of course, quite beautiful. She is currently playing in London on stage in "Blackbird" and is getting rave reviews. I really enjoyed Jodhi in "Daniel Deronda". I was so touched when Mirah was telling about how her father almost sold her. A single tear ran down her cheek. It was truly moving.

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[–] orion_d13 18 years ago

I'm in the camp that Daniel loved Mirah from the start. You just had to look at Daniel everytime he was around her. He never said anything, but he was drawn to her in every way. Dancy's subtle acting conveys this, just as much as his compassion and his attraction to Gwendolyn was displayed but never became anything more than that. They didn't have all that much in common, except their upbringing and social status. She was always in desperate need of his strength and morality, his guidance, and Daniel was willing to give it. However, Daniel was also in need of strength and guidance and Mirah gave him that by being the only person he could relate to.

Mirah, who with her sad haunted eyes, had a sense of also needing to be rescued but not in the same way Gwendolyn did. Mirah, with her sad upbringing, was already miles ahead in terms of having a good heart, while Gwendolyn was still in search of trying to be a good person. Mirah and Daniel understood each other in ways that Gwendolyn would never understand. Not just because they don't share the same religion, but they don't have the same character traits or are able to relate to each other because of a shared sense of history.

Daniel's mother only reaffirmed what Daniel suppressed all along. He denied his desire for Mirah (as obvious when he grows very much jealous of his friends growing affection for her) but was strangely attracted to her because somehow, he knew that she was familiar.

Daniel was only really two years old when he was separated from his mother. It's not inconceivable to think that he remembered her, however faint, and latched on to the nearest thing that reminded him of her, namely Mirah's overall presence and her singing (which I'm sure his mother also sang in his presence as well)

Personally, "the love of your life isn't always the one you marry" is just a reminder that Daniel DID manage to find the one person who was perfect for him.

Hugh and Jodhi were excellent. Their acting complemented each other very well.

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[–] Pistachio12 18 years ago

Daniel and Gwendolyn!!!
I agree with a lot of the other posts above in that Daniel's choice to marry Mirah had a lot to do with compatibility, heritage, and identity. Mirah was security for him, a way for him to live out his dream for serving others. She would be the classic wife for him, modest and compliant.
But the passion between Gwendolyn and Daniel is undeniable. Though Daniel marries Mirah, and though I see he loves her, I think there may be some brotherly love in his affections for Mirah. For Gwendolyn, it truly is an attraction between a man and a woman, a passion and fire, untamed and to the core. He will never forget Gwendolyn. So that's why I'd have to say I was totally devastated with the ending, but it is more realistic in the end anyway.
Daniel and Gwendolyn!!!!

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[–] flashtheunicorn 18 years ago

Definately Daniel and Gwendolyn!
I didn't mind Mirah too much but she kind of got on my nerves. To me it almost felt like he was only marrying her becuase he felt sorry for her and once he found out he was a Jew it seemed he was only marrying her because he thought it was his duty in some way. The series definately played up the relationship between Daniel and Gwen more, I just felt like they had so much more chemistry and passion between them than Daniel and Mirah.
Overall I was very dissatisfied with the ending, even up till the last moment I was still hoping Dan and Gwen would get together!

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[–] nicoledesapio 12 years ago

Gwendolyn and Daniel might have been happy together for a time, but I believe Daniel would have become bored with her pretty quickly. I just don't think he would have been sufficiently fulfilled as Gwendolyn's husband. Daniel certainly served a purpose for Gwendolyn -- he was her comforter, her counselor -- but I don't believe Daniel was what Gwen truly needed.

It struck me that Gwen spent a lot of the story running away. She ran away from the job offer of governess. She ran away from having to do the hard work necessary to succeed as a musician. And finally, she ran away from her marriage by failing to save Grandcourt. What Gwen ultimately needed, then, was not Daniel, but a strong sense of her own identity. She needed to "face herself" and develop character, and she could only really do this on her own.

Moreover, it was clear to me that, in talking with his mother, Daniel realized that Gwen was a lot like her (essentially selfish) and that Mirah was the one he loved and would be happy/fulfilled with.

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[–] ffordegroupie 17 years ago

and the passion of your life isn't always the love of your life.

sorry but i don't see him being with gwen. i don't think they would have been nearly as attracted to each other if he hadn't felt sorry for her, and if she hadn't been self loathing and wanted him to help her be a better person.

plus passion doesn't equal love. imagine daniel and gwen on a daily basis living in the same house, without the whole "she's married" thing. they wouldn't have been nearly so passionate, although she would still have respected him and he would still have liked her.

whats more, real love is also about respect and i dont think he could have respected gwen the way he respected mirah, becuz mirah would never have married for money or hurt someone like gwen did. gwen is a little girl in a womans body, she has a lot of maturing to do before she deserves a guy like daniel. mirahs mature in every way.

its also about equality and understanding each other, and with gwen and daniel it's always about her probs. she never even knows even a little of what goes on inside his heart, but mirah does, and she cares about his problems while gwen doesn't even know about them.

plus in a way this is an allegory of a guy being torn between his current life (gwen) and his heritage (mirah). plus i can't see daniel proposing to mirah unless he really did love her. and yes i read the book, at the end i got the feeling that eliot was acknowledging that you cant just leave behind your old loves, but that doesn't mean that the new one isn't for real and keeps.

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[–] telzo 17 years ago

Wonderful, insightful comment.

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[–] amabiliscasa 17 years ago

Personally, I loved it. While I sympathised with Gwyn, and wanted her to be happy, I felt a lot of her misery was of her own making, and then she would cry to Daniel about it. I think he felt an attraction to her, was very concerned with her welfare, and felt a need to "protect" her. His influence made her a better person - he found another good person in Mirah.

He was constantly saving Gwyn, but he and Mirah saved each other (in the river and with his heritage, etc). They were more equal and compatable.

I think the only reason why he waited until after he knew he was a Jew to choose Mirah was because that was the final push he needed to admit it to himself. Then he cuts ties with Gwyn.

I believe he loved them both, but he loved Gwyn in more of a "guardian angel" sort of way. I think he loved Mirah in a very quiet and strong way - you have to look to see it, but it is there.

Sometimes I think people only want Dan/Gwyn because Gwyn is prettier than Mirah. Read the book, people. He was attracted to Mirah from the start.
__________
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. - Bertha Calloway

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[–] ednalyn99 17 years ago

While I appreciate the Daniel/Mirah ending, I still would have preferred Daniel and Gwen in the end. I dunno, maybe I'm just a sucker for romance. At this point in her life, I can actually see Gwendolyn converting to Judaism for Daniel. She was that madly in love with him. How do I know that? Because she let go of him when she had to, even though it was a moment in her life she needed him the most. She finally wished for his happiness first, before her own. If that ain't love, I dunno what is.

I think Daniel also realized this. In that scene where she tells him "I shall be better for having known you," his face breaks into this very emotional expression. Like it finally dawns on him that Gwendolyn has truly grown up. It's ironic that it's when he is ending things between them, it is when Gwen has actually become worthy of Daniel. I also noticed that when he kisses her hand and lets go, he could not bear to look at her in the eye, or her face. Before exting the door, that is the only time he turns to look, but even then he only threw a short look at her. Like it was too hard for him to leave her. I don't think it was pity that he felt. He looked like someone who was leaving behind the love of his life.

But this does not mean that he did not truly love Mirah. A person can experience true love several times in a lifetime (lucky ones!). I have no doubt that he will also be happy, and perhaps even more fulfilled in his life with Mirah. Married life is not so simple as simply choosing the one who consumes your heart and mind.

I loved "The Painted Veil." Please do try to see it.

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[–] linda303 17 years ago

I came to the conclusion that Daniel only chose Mirah over Gwen when he discovered that Gwen did not try to save her husband from drowning. I do believe that before that moment he was ready to choose Gwen. (I did not read the book, but this board IS BASED on movies!) I saw Daniel and Mirah more as brother and sister, or comrades-in-arms, but never as lovers. There was simply no chemistry between them from my point of view. I thought Mirah and Daniel's friend (Hans?) were much more of like mind and spirit, and should have married.

Sorry, but I did not like The Painted Veil at all!

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[–] LeadingLadybug 16 years ago

I really disagree, because I think Daniel could only have chosen Mirah. She is the only one who could make him happy.

I think I might be alone here (which is totally fine) but I really disliked the character of Gwendolen. I feel like everyone is sympathizing with her because she is the beautiful one, but honestly, she drove me crazy the entire movie. I know that she's supposed to be flawed (the story is about her redemption and how she comes to find it, after all) but seriously, how was Daniel Deronda obligated to save her every time she came whining to him about how hard her life was? Nobody forced her to marry Grandcourt - she did that of her own accord. She claims that she did it for her family; I believe that she did it for herself as much as she did it for them. I am not saying that she could have known he'd be such a jerk, but Gwendolen did make a conscious choice and the only thing she can do is to live with it. Why complain to Daniel? What can he do?

She grows up a lot during the course of the movie and becomes a much better, self-aware person who really tries to change, but honestly, she's too needy. She expects other people to give give give, and Daniel is no different. She is too dependent on him and if they married, the relationship would revolve around her wants and needs. Never did she offer him any consolation or advice, never did she comfort him about his plight with his mother and how he hoped and wished to know about his parents throughout his life.

She's just not right for him, I don't think. This is just completely my own opinion though, and I guess that many of you won't see it my way - but I really like Daniel with Mirah. :)

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