If "Love Actually" had been about love actually

Here is what would have happened in real life:

After a couple of years, Juliet’s love for Peter would have worn off, and she and Mark would have had an affair.

Once Jaime and Aurelia learned to speak each other’s language, they would have found out that they are not compatible, because their attraction for each other was just physical. Romantic movies often suggest that the important thing to is to communicate. Sometimes, it is communication that kills romance.

Harry would not have tried to buy the necklace for his mistress while shopping with his wife. I have even known jewelry stores to have Wednesday nights be for men only, so that neither wives nor the friends of the wives will know about these surreptitious purchases. Said purchases, by the way, would be kept at the office, not brought home for the wives to discover them.

In real life, Karen might have stayed with Harry after finding out that he was cheating on her, but she would have lived to regret it. She should have told Harry she wanted a divorce. After all, Jaime did not forgive his girlfriend when he found out that she was cheating on him.

David would have the affair with Natalie, opening himself up to charges of sexual harassment, if the relationship turned sour, as it very well might.

When Sam caught up to Joanna, I would estimate the chances of that turning out well to be pretty low. More likely, she would think Sam was a nerd and just turn away from him. Parents should exercise caution before pushing their children into potentially devastating situations like that.

Sarah would still visit her brother from time to time, but she would get on with the rest of her life, successfully having the affair with Karl (with the phone turned off).

The story involving John and Judy is too silly to take seriously, as is the story about Colin.