MovieChat Forums > Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2002) Discussion > This 'gem' turned out to be just a turd

This 'gem' turned out to be just a turd


When I saw this at my local Disc Replay for 5 bucks, I HAD to snag it.

Being a "bad movie" buff, I was surprised I didn't find this before, because I've seen some awful movies in my day (and I've even seen Redneck Zombies and Disgusteen), but this wasn't that "good" kind of awful, this sh*t was just plain dreck.

Honestly, I was hoping to see a great B-movie made by a bunch of just-out-of-high school kids who were out having some fun and trying to make a vision come to life. But what came out of it was complete Super 8 garbage. The first thing I noticed was EVERY voice was dubbed over...did they NOT have Mics equipped on their cameras at all? And the worst thing they could've done was cut Jesus's friggin hair!! I know, I know, everyone says that, but it's just a testament to where the movie IMMEDIATELY went wrong. The whole point (I would assume) is to see Jesus kicking vampire @ss in all of his long haired and white robed glory, but oh no, they destroy it by making him look like a gay stereotype from the mid-90s (no offense to gay people).

I guess one good thing I took from this movie is that it helped me further discern and rationalize the difference between "good" bad movies, and just plain awful dreck. It looked like the fighting was choreographed straight out of Streets of Rage (The Sega Genesis game), and they did a horrible job of executing it. The story (although not expected to be TOO coherent) was shaken around and chopped to bits by what looked like on-the-spot script writing and bad editing.

From what I could gather, the vampires in the movie were able to walk in the daylight by grafting the skin of Lesbians onto their own, and a couple of pastors enlist the aid of The Man Himself to fend off these creatures using the ancient Eastern Arts. Seriously, if you're trying to make a "good" bad movie, you almost couldn't go wrong with a premise like this, but somehow, someway, they trashed it and turned it into a complete mess of Super 8 film. Troma could have probably turned this into something amazing.

It was a GREAT idea, all the right ingredients were there, but the movie in the end isn't worth the DVD it's printed on.

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You obviously have no taste in low budget intentionally bad b movies.

"Look, it scary big brown flying poo-poo!"

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Dude, there's a difference between "intentionally bad" and "so bad it's hilarious and entertaining".....and then there's just "BAD".

This movie was an atrocity. This movie was an insult to film, and an embarrassment to viewers everywhere. I've watched pixelated, recorded-over-100-times movies that were better than this.

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Agreed

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It's been 7 years, your movie is no better.

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