I can't believe no-one has started a quotes page on this movie which is full of great one-liners!
for a start:
Jack N: i need you to retard your anger
Adam S: its retarded...., i'm retarded.
or something amongst those lines...
How about...
"then he pulled out his winkie, and told her it was a strawberry ice-cream cone!"
Jack has some of the great comedic lines in cinema history!
Lady @ the resturant- "OMG it's Stacy and Gena!!!"
Dave- ..."and what about the guy on the plane? was he apart of this too?
Linda- "No he was just having a bad day."
Guy on the plane- sitting in between 2 people sleeping on him "Son of a Bitch!!!"
Dave- "Man that felt good, even though I molested his sister it still felt good YEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Buddy- "You really molested a crazy girl?
Dave- "No, Got ya!!!"
Dave- "The name is Pana Kamanana, not penis.
Chuck: You better get down here before a black wolf swallows my brain!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Temper is the only thing you cant get rid of by losing it.
cheeeeeeeeese
You think you know. But you have no idea cheese
"I like to sleep in the nude!"
Ah-Nuld: Get to da choppa, noaw!
Buddy: You'll be pleasently surprised at how much fun we can have.
Dave: Oh Geez without Slippy Flippys or angry masterbating i dont see how thats possible
"Wake-y Wake-y...Eggs and Bake-y"
-Budd, Kill Bill Vol. 2
That part was funny as *beep*
shareBuddy: "I was toying the notion that you were gay, what with the kitty cat clothes, so forth."
http://theliberalsherlockian.blogspot.com/
"Can't you see I'm trying to stop him unleashing the whopper with cheese."
One of the funniest lines I've ever heard. A combination of ridiculous metaphor, an older guy continuing to be sexually aware and Jack Nicholson ( be it in character ) revealing that he feels threatened by another man's sexual prowess.
Buddy: (throwing the eggs) I said over easy! (pause) Now, why did I do that, Dave?
Dave: Because I refused to spoon with you last night?
Quote:
"Can't you see I'm trying to stop him unleashing the whopper with cheese."
I love that line, and this movie...the greatest thing about that line is that you get reminded about in everyday live, for instance I was at burger king a couple of weeks ago and they was a advertisement there for a "whopper with cheese", I cracked up when I saw it!, cos' it instantly reminded me of this movie, after seeing this movie it doesnt really sound that tasty anymore, haha!
Lou: Eskimos seem nice
Chuck: I think Eskimos are smug
"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means....it's dirty"
THE FUNNIEST ONE OF ALL,
"YOUR ASSISTANT BEAT THE BEJESUS OUT OF A FLIGHT ATTENDANT"
Lol! And then Stacy and Gina. 'Ooh, bet you beat her good!'
shareBuddy:"Might I have your name Mr. Head and please tell me it isn't Dick."
Frank:"It's Frank."
Buddy:"Ah, Fran"
LOL
Dave:"...you give it to the biggest dick in the world."
Andrew:"I don't know about the biggest dick in the world, but its definately the biggest one in the room."
Dave:"STOOOOOOOP!!!"(punches him)
Buddy: "What is your position on BREAST IMPLANTS?"
Schadenfreude- such joy
Galaxia: "I'm from a little Bawarian willage called Lickin-ze-Dickin! Care to wisit?" I love the way all of the V's were replaced with W's (Bavarian village=Barwarian willage, etc.) Makes it sound funnier.
Galaxia: "That's ok, because I am a lady. (Looks between legs) Oops! No, I'm not!" Dave's response was classic. "Whoa, there it is!"
Chuck: "I was verbally attacked by my neighbor, then I took a crap on his porch."
Schadenfreude- such joy
Chuck: Here's my phone number.
[Dave reads it]
Dave Buznik: "You're gonna die, bitch"?
Chuck: Oh, sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera.
Right after Galaxia opens his/her legs David get’s all wierded out and says “Lady! Gentleman! Lentelman!”
That line has been making me laugh for a long time.
You put your crazy, curroded tounge in my girlfriend's mouth!?
Treat each day as if it were the last day of your life. Please be a child sponser for World Vision.
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Best part of that scene is when Galaxia in a deep voice "You guys are freaks".
Come visit my http://theblackrosecastle.com
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David: She looked like olivia Newton-John if she was really ugly and had huge balls.
shareEveryone is missing the greatest lines...
Chuck: "So you think you're better than me 'cause you got both your NUT$!?"
Dave: "She moaned like a wildebeest."
Buddy: "Willllllllldebeest!"
U.S. Marshall: "You people!?"
--I highly recommend quoting Chuck's line in public places. The reaction is classic in every setting.
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That whole conversation between Chuck and Dave when Chuck comes to Dave's house.
Chuck: Who is that??
Dave: That's just my girlfriend chuck
Chuck: What is she talkin about me??
Dave: No
Chuck: Dave come down here before the black wolf swallows my brain! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Buddy: "Maybe you'll enjoy the knee-slapper Dave told me about the great Buddha?"
Arnie Shankman: "Oh.. what did you say about Buddha?"
Buddy: "Dave said.. how does a guy who weighs over 600 pounds, have the balls to teach people about self-discipline?"
LOL
It's unexplanitory how I getz wicked, but it's mandatory that I kick it!
Buddy: "Did you hear that frog?"
and
Galaxia: "You guys are freaks"
Lol. I freakin love this movie