MovieChat Forums > All Babes Want to Kill Me (2006) Discussion > Decent premise. Terrible writing, direct...

Decent premise. Terrible writing, direction and acting

posted 17 years ago by megasocknose
7 replies | jump to latest

The premise is what got me.
"A Martial Artist, afflicted with a disease that makes beautiful women want to kill him, goes on a suicide mission to find true love anyway."
You know, I read that and it honestly made me smile. I went hunting for a copy expecting a lowbrow, turn off your brain kind of comedy. No big expectations, just an amusing film for a rainy afternoon. I mean, the set ups actually pretty original and you can see there being at least a couple of good jokes in there.

Maybe there was, I don't know because I only made it 30 minutes in before giving up. Folks, this movie is bad. Really *beep* terrible. If you're reading this and you're considering renting, buying it or even downloading it (don't waste the bandwidth) please reconsider.

OK. So let's break this down.

Terrible pacing - The film opens with an overly long prologue that uses an old woman narrating the story to a retarded kid as a framing device (nope, not funny guys. Try again).

Godawful writing - Absolutely zero understanding of how to set up and deliver jokes is displayed. Instead, we get painfully unfunny slapstick (haha! He keeps hitting them in the balls! Hilarious!), boring archetypes (more on that later) and horrible dialogue. Cannot emphasize the latter enough. Example:
Volina: Give her some of your pain pills?
Shang Cho: And just what am I supposed to take with my beer?
Volina: You're almost out?
Shang Cho: I'm running low.
Yeah. Can see what they were trying to do here. But there's absolutely no comic timing at all. You can see that they're trying to be funny and that last line is supposed to be a punch, but it doesn't deliver.

Terrible Acting - I know it's a bit *beep* to pick on an indy production for this as they don't always have access to the brightest stars in Hollywood. But Jesus effing Christ. Could you not have least got someone (anyone!) who can deliver a line with a hint of charisma or a sense of comic timing? You've gone to all the trouble of writing the script and doing the pre-production and stuff, bad actors are going to kill even the funniest script dead.

Horrible Characters - I think this is what made me switch off more than anything else. The characters are all two dimensional, boring and painful to watch. There's not an interesting nuance or exchange between any of them. Let's see, we have the camp gay, the utterly evil brother, the spunky lady, the bitch and our shy and coy hero. Awesome.

The music was good to be fair with some catchy tunes being played. Apart from that, this an awful movie and it made me cry :( :(

[–] bonjova 17 years ago

I'm glad I didnt read your diatribe before seeing it.

This was highly entertaining.

This is NOT meant to be a serious movie...this is a comedy. You dont seem to understand, be the long, winding and rather dull critical remarks. This is not meant to make one think, it exists because it is entertaining and funny. This is not Little Miss Sunshine, and it serves its purpose, I spent ninty minutes without a care in my head.

Those humorless people who continue to bore us with their in depth reasoning for why this movie isn't good' need to stop for a second and look at the plot and concept...this is not meant to be taken seriously.

[–] megasocknose 17 years ago

Think you missed the first paragraph of my post there buddy.
"You know, I read that and it honestly made me smile. I went hunting for a copy expecting a lowbrow, turn off your brain kind of comedy. No big expectations, just an amusing film for a rainy afternoon. I mean, the set ups actually pretty original and you can see there being at least a couple of good jokes in there. "

"I'm glad I didnt read your diatribe before seeing it. "
Looks like you didn't at all. Fantastic reading comprehension there you utter spastic.

I wasn't looking for a serious movie in any shape or form.
And you know what? I LIKE dumb comedies. I liked Kung Pow, The Tongan Ninja (vastly superior to this, same kind of style) and such. I just didn't find this funny.
"
Those humorless people who continue to bore us with their in depth reasoning for why this movie isn't good' need to stop for a second and look at the plot and concept...this is not meant to be taken seriously."
Oh fantastic reasoning there. To not like this movie is to lack a sense of humour! Great! I could argue that your sense of humor must be pretty terrible if you find 'lolhe kicked dem in da barlllllss hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' funny but I can't be assed. Oh wait I kind of did anyway. NEVERMIND

And I'm not criticizing this film because I'm a film snob, it's because I think it's *beep* I'm sure it's the same for most people with negative opinions on this particular heap.

[–] adjorgkilu 17 years ago

This movie is garbage. I thought about posting a comment on it (something I rarely do), but what's the use? Trolls, using multiple fake accounts, have overtaken the comments page. The fact that there are positive comments dating back to 2002 that 50+ people found "useful" (when the film is a 2005 release () should really tell you something. So I'll post some thoughts here instead:

Great title + concept that sadly fell into the wrong hands

Oh my God, who makes this crap? And who writes positive reviews about it? (apart from those who worked on it or their friends, of course). Clearly one of IMDb's biggest failures in attempting to stop vote rigging and fake reviews (most of the positive comments were written YEARS before it was even released!), "All Babes Want To Kill Me" actually has a grabber of a concept that sadly fell into the hand of amateurs. Right from the start, with the GROSSLY UNFUNNY caricature of the blind Asian martial arts master, you know what to expect; and surely enough, the gay caricature, the multiple hits to the groin and the vomiting gags follow. But the most REVOLTING aspect of the movie is how it makes up two beautiful female cast members to look bruised and bleeding for nearly all their screen time, making the film unpleasant to even LOOK AT, in addition to its being dismally unfunny. There is one almost-good scene of the hero getting his butt kicked all over the place by a pool lady. For that scene alone I give the film a 2 out of 10. If the people who made it had invested as much time in doing a good job as they did in building up a totally fake and undeserved reputation for it on IMDb, it might have turned out better.

And a note to IMDB: WAKE UP!!!!!. A serious film site does NOT allow what has happened with this film on its ratings and comments system to happen. This is a place for honest film discussion and criticism, NOT a place for amateur filmmakers to promote their own movie under fake accounts!!!!!

EDIT: Ah well, I decided to post this as a comment after all. Let's get those negative votes coming! It's not like the people who worked on this film are busy making another one, they have plenty of time to troll on IMDB

[–] conlee 17 years ago

cynhkroc, you are a bitter human being. Have you ever tried to make a film before? Do you know the monumental amount of effort, scheduling, sweat and tears it takes to get a movie (any movie) completed?

This may not be the best movie ever made, but the filmmakers and myself worked very hard on it and had a great time doing so. It's too bad you didn't enjoy it, but others did, and I guess that's all you can hope for when doing films.

And to set the record straight, this film was shot in 2001 (I believe), but as is often the case with independent features, it played many many festivals and had quite a number of private screenings for potential buyers etc., before it finally found distribution. Therefore there were a fair number of opportunities to have seen this flick before it found it's way onto your local video store shelf. And yes, many of the early viewers were friends or friendly acquaintances of the filmmakers, so the votes may have been higher than average, but it was no grand conspiracy.

The simple fact is, when a movie has only been viewed by a few hundred people, it doesn't take many votes to create a high average. This is a situation that rarely occurs with studio films, because they get promoted the heck out of then a gazillion people see them at once and the reviews start flying fast and furious. With a film like this, over time, a true average starts to settle in. Actually I would argue that the average reflected here is lower than it should be, because people who are dissatisfied with a product (or film), tend to be the most vocal in their responses; and we didn't have a studio marketing blitz to draw more favorably minded folks to the site.

Relax, my friend, and instead of being upset that other people didn't make the movie you wanted to see, take your indignation and put it towards making a movie that we can all trash. Have a great day.

Chris

[–] peter-2040 17 years ago

I found this to be one of those so-bad-it's-good movies. The jokes are mostly pretty bad, and not well delivered. I really enjoyed watching it, all the while thinking "I can't believe they made a movie like this".

You really have to be in a playful mood to have any fun. It's like laughing at what they can get away with and still call it a movie. It's like a caricature of a movie.

[–] Sic Coyote 15 years ago

I started reading up to the 'only made it 30 minutes in' part then decided it wasn't worth reading the rest.

[–] david-3470 15 years ago

I came across this movie last year on a random hotel rec room shelf on top of this hill, Sarangkot, in the middle of Nepal. Clearly, not having a 'gazillion' dollars for a marketing budget did not stop (eh, prevent?) this movie from having a supreme global and cultural reach.

I agree that the name of the movie is what totally caught my attention and I really do think it's a pretty original premise. Frankly though, it didn't hit that "so bad it's good" nerve for me, and sometimes those are my favorite films of all.

That being said, I would love to see it re-tooled and remade. Perhaps with a better director, say Fellini or David Cronenberg or Amanda Bearse.

And I think the lead in something like this could really revitalize the career of Pauly Shore. No, I'm serious. Serious.

-Greg