Couldn't make it easy on me, could you "GERT"
The face that he speaks to the heavens above to someone named f--king Gert isn't even the most ridiculous part of this pukingly lame ending. He drives up to the construction site, says his bit to a Spirit named F--KING GERT(!!!) and immediately takes off running, with all the power of love while The Smiths play on...leaving his idling BMW there on the spot. This is of course never mentioned again, as it's the climax of the movie and all...but it does leave one admiring just how much our hero wanted to play in the dirt with his kid. He DID remember to close the door... So there's that...? I guess??
Oh, and THEN the crusty, square old teacher FAINTS during their "shocking" performance (She thought it was a hymn! Ha ha What a stupid old Hag!!); I mean...I SAY! the NERVE of it all! I NEVER!!
...I mean, REALLY. How much more gruesomely sentimental and wack can you possibly get??
P.S. Since Kevin Smith was apparently unwilling to leave a single Family Comedy cliché unturned, there is indeed a shot of the hopeful child looking out at the parent's vacant seat, Dad's name duly taped to the back...even though that makes completely NO sense at all, seeing how Dad was IN the goddamn production (and why the HELL would there be reserved seating at an Elementary School recital in the FIRST DAMN PLACE) and would be backstage with everyone else in the frakkin' show. Also, time manages to stop, I guess? When f--king Gert Junior turns and realizes Dad showed up after all...suspending time and space so the musical score can kick in and we can gaze at the smiling child for an awkward moment, all without affecting their accompanying music's playback?? I swear - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. It really does bum me out a bit. I think I REALLY need to stop caring about the how and the why of Hollywood ineptitude and CARRY ON with my ridiculous life. *Slow clap begins*