MovieChat Forums > Noir (2001) Discussion > Things I learned from watching Noir

Things I learned from watching Noir

posted 15 years ago by Ramblingon
7 replies | jump to latest

Things I learned from watching Noir:

• If you meet a quiet, angsty Japanese school-girl who has amnesia, then she is mostly likely a skilled assassin

• Japanese student ID card is a lethal weapon

• Dagger is faster than bullet

• Popcorns are better than infrared goggles

• The best cure for amnesia is to shoot a bullet right past your ear

• If your uncle suddenly pays you a visit after many years, it's probably a good idea to gun him down

• Q: a deadly assassin just found out you killed her parents ten years ago, and she's pissed, what should you do?
A: write her a love letter... of course

• The Stonehenge is located in the border between Spain and France

• Toy car is mightier than the gun

• Chidren process information differently from adults. For example, when a 5-year-old girl witnesses another 5-year-old girl gunning down a whole family in cold blood, instead of being scarred for life, she will instantly fall madly in love with the loli assassin.

• To save your partner from being stabbed to death, it's much better to shoot the dagger than the assailant

• All church bell towers have a bungee cord hanging from the top -- for precisely the reason that if you ever got chased up the stairs by a mafia hitman, you can jump to safety -- and shoot him down in mid-flight as a bonus

• To operate stealthily in the crowded streets of Paris, be sure to wear a lime-green cloak everywhere and you'll blend right in

• It's customary to wave hello to a roomful of security guards before you shoot them dead

• Real assassins aren't afraid to stand still in front of the opponent and let him use up his ammo first

• Real assassins aren't embarrassed about carrying their gun in a dainty little purse

So my fellow Noir fans, have YOU learned anything from watching Noir?
:)

[–] Mithrandir-Olorin7 15 years ago

I love these topics, their funny.

If a Crazy Sword wilding Nun is attacking you, and bullets to her chest don't work cause she's wearing armor, don't bother trying to shoot her in the Head, just wait for the right moment to throw a knife at the back of her neck.

"It's not about Money

It's about sending a message

Everything Burns"

[–] jloper 15 years ago

NOTHING, not even falling in hot lava, can wipe that beatific smile off of Altena's face.

[–] Mithrandir-Olorin7 15 years ago

Blond Corsicans have the worst Poker faces

In the world of Anime, Chinese people have slanted eyes, but Japanese people don't

"It's not about Money

It's about sending a message

Everything Burns"

[–] btmims 14 years ago

-One of the best assassins in the world doesn't bother to cover up her face
-Or the fact that she's female
-And doesn't know how to clear a room (i.e. checking corners, checking bodies, etc.)
-Or put a round in the head for insurance
-99% of security personel don't think to buy/wear armor (I'm a CIVILIAN, with no connection to the police or gangs, and am thinking of armor to go with my handgun. cause ya never know...)
-Also doesn't know how to make a cocktail of the "molotov" variety when she's IN FRONT OF A FREAKING BAR, waiting for an attack. An attack in which they CUT THE POWER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? The could have BURNED THEIR ENEMIES, BLINDED THE NIGHT VISION GOGGLES, AND OBTAINED ILLUMINATION! All AT THE SAME TIME!

...and if someone says, "dure, it was a SODA bar..." I'm going to find them and douse them with a bottle of oil. cause that's what they use to pop pop-corn.

-oh yeah, randomly decides to stop using a proper stance and/or grip for no good reason.

oh there will be more as i work my way through the series. you can count on it.

[–] Hieronymus_Fabricius 14 years ago

You ever try lighting cooking oil on fire? It's not as effective as you would think.

The rest of your points are valid - although I'm a little concerned about any civilian who thinks he needs to buy armor with his gun.

[–] lenny_nero-1 11 years ago

All good life lessons to live by.

:)

[–] ClockworkPomegranate 11 years ago

• A lot of guys, and a few girls, in suits (well trained assassins they tell me) make a habit of standing around like cardboard targets and let the two Noir chicks blow them away with ease.

• Nobody bleeds when they're stabbed or shot full of holes...with the exception of Mirielle's parents.

• Blonde female Corsican assassins only wear one outfit - a short black skirt with a tight red top.

• Blonde female Corsican assassins can run, climb and jump like a well-trained special forces soldier....while wearing leather high-heeled boots.

• As children, blonde female Corsican assassins-to-be look much younger than their actual age. (Assuming Kirika is about 15 and Mirielle is about 20...in the flashback scenes Kirika looks about 5-6 years-old and Mirielle only looks a couple years older.)

• When Corsican/Japanese assassin teams fly from Paris to Vienna - a distance of 1030km (643 miles), i.e. a one hour flight - they take a long haul night-flight complete with sleeperette seats. Taking a train would be faster...