Summerslam 97 Review
Live from the Continental Airlines Arena in the NJ meadowlands its Summerslam 97!! Your hosts are McMahon, JR and The King.
The Hart Foundation will suffer dire consequences if they lose. If Pillman loses he has to wear a dress. If Owen loses he has to kiss Austins ass. If Bulldog loses he has to eat dogfood, and if Bret loses he can't wrestle in the US ever again, yeah right. Couldn't they just have said NOT for the WWF?
Match #1
Cage Match
Hunter Hearst Helmsley w Chyna Vs Mankind
Starting the night off with a deusy. JR makes the comment that the cage will keep Chyna from interfering. Yeah sure, she stops Mankind from climbing out about 4 minutes in. This was the last WWF ppv to use the old blue shark cage design. Mankind battles back and tries going out the door but Cyna slams the door in his face, she decks the ref then throws a chair into the ring where Hunter tries a pedigree on it but Mankind slingshots him into the cage knocking Chyna off in the process. Mankind with the double arm ddt on the chair. Mankind climbs over and out and is just about to touch the floor but instead takes his mask off, climbs back up top and hits a flying elbow killing Hunter. Mankind climbs back out to win it at 16:25. Felt like an average cage match to me but that doesn't mean it sucked for an opener. Im going 3 stars.
The Govenator does an interview about being responsible for bringing wrestling back to Joisey. She gets booed. FF.
Match #2
Singles Match
Goldust w Marlena Vs The Loose Canon Brian Pillman
So sad to see Pillman at this point in time. A few weeks away from death and his ring work is cut by about 60% thanks to a car accident. Pillman loses, he has to wear a dress. Didn't like this one much. GD gets the pin after Marlena blasts Pillman with the loaded purse at 7:15. 1 1/2 star. Marlena puts the mannequin with the evening gown on in the ring and Pillman busts it up. Interesting that Pillman kept going even though his shoelaces came undone on one of his boots and it never fell off or tripped him.
Match #3
Tag Team Match
The Legion Of Doom Vs The Godwins
Talk about irony. On the subject of this feud and how it came about when Hawk accidently broke Henry's neck with the doomsday device. Lawler asked how can you accidently break someones neck. A foreshadowing of things to come. LOD control the first part. Animal gets caught in the inbreds corner and he mounts a comeback, hottags Hawk who cleans house and a spike piledriver on Henry finishes it at 9:47. Average tag match but the finish was good continuity. 2 stars.
For the love of god don't force yourself to watch the million dollar drawing. Ive watched it one time and it was friggin embarrassing. I don't know what was mor nauseating, the fact that they put the winning key under the number it rhymes with or the poor slob they called up to do the drawing and he wasn't even watching the show on ppv. Well, atleast the losers got Sable and Sunny to rub theyre boobs against them. Pettingil is a terrible dialer.
Match #4
European Championship Match
The British Bulldog Daveyboy Smith Vs Ken Shamrock
If BD loses he must eat dogfood. Shamrock attacks BD right off the bat. Bulldog catches Ken on something then drops him with a clothesline. They fight outside where Bulldog sends Shamrock to the steps then hits him with a chair. Bulldog trying to kill him at this point with a set of steel steps but the ref makes him drop them. Bulldog tries a suplex onto the stair but they botch that up. Back inside a resthold by Daveyboy. Shamrock is bleeding from the mouth. Back outside Daveyboy takes a scoop of dogfood and smears it on Shamrocks head who goes absolutely sickhouse to a huge cheer and beats the S*** out of Smith. Then he htis him in the back of the head with the dogfood can drawing the dq and puts on a sleeprhold on the mat and chokes Bulldog out until the usual idiots break up the hold. Shamrock lays them all out and gets a thunderous cheer. Looks like Shamrock is over with the fans. Im going 1 1/2 star. Match was nothing but an extra 1/2 star for the post match shenanigans.
Match #5
8 Man Tag Team Match
The Disciples Of Apocolypse Vs Los Boricuas
It universally accepted that this was a horrible and distastful storyline by the WWF to push the Gang Warz. Was this supposed to be their answer to the nWo??? It's typical of an 8 man tag. Too many guys involved to really get anything going. The fans were supposed to pick either the white redneck bikers the hispanic gang or the black militants as the faces depending on what their own skin color was. DOA were the predecessors to the American Badass Undertaker, all four rode Harley's to the ring. Los Boricuas were good workers, and Crush was the only guy on the DOA I liked. Jesuz or "heyzeuz" as it's pronounced pins Chainz after an elbow at 9:07. The Nation come out postmatch and all three gangs fight in the entranceway. Feh. 1 star.
Two matches left. We better get something going because it's been pretty lousy since the cage match
Match #6
Intercontinental Championship Match
Owen Hart Vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
The loser has to kiss the winners ass. Best match so far. This is the match that changed history as during a tombestone counter Owen dropped Austin on his head giving him a stinger and spinal injury that would result in his wrestling career being cut short sooner than it actually ended. During the confusion Owen is obviously concerned but is with it enough to play it up and mock Austin, trying not to break kayfabe. Austin gets a suprise weak rollup at 16:19 to win the title. Suprising he could even do that. Austin needs help getting to the dressing room. Now this is a touchy subject. I have always felt Owen should of won the match due to injury because Austin had to vacate the belt immediatley which did nothing for him. People point out that if Austin lost then he would have to kiss Owen's ass. I don't think anyone would of cared at that point, because the injury was legit and if they played it properly the ass kissing would of been paved over and Owen could of received even more credibility for putting Austin out of the WWF. Great match, didn't like the ending. Im going 3 stars.
Match #7
World Heavyweight Championship Match
The Undertaker Vs Bret The Hitman Hart
Special Referee Shawn Michaels
If Bret loses he can't wrestle in the USA again. If Shawn shows favortism he gets punished aswell. The storyline is too specific so the winner should be obvious. Bret jumps Taker during instructions which doesn't do much but piss the dead man off. They battle outside where Taker introduces Hart to the steel post twice. Shawn tries to gain control but gets shot a dirty look from Taker. Back inside Bret takes Taker down and goes to a figure four just as Paul Bearer waddles out to start some sht. Taker reverses the figure four to break it. Taker goes outside and decks Bearer and Bret follows with a chopblock. Michaels gets some more refs to ringside to drag fatty outta there. Next up, Pillman and Owen wander down to ringside. Shawn runs them off, just because I notice dumb sht like that Pillman still hasn't fixed his boot. While Shawn is arguing with them Taker hits a chokeslam and gets mad at Shawn for not being in the ring. Alot of arguing with Shawn and the other two. Bret goes into his moves of doom routine. Bret goes for the sharpshooter but Taker chokes out of it. Taker battles back and chokeslams Bret from the apron back into the ring for a close 2 1/2. Next they battle on the top rope and Bret hits the superplex. Bret's got the sharpshooter. Taker kicks out of it and JR almost pisses himself. Bret tries a sharpshooter on the ringpost and Shawn goes out to pry him off but Taker kicks him off onto Shawn. Michaels loses his smile and Bret grabs a chair and lays out Taker. Shawn finally gets back in and makes a count but Taker gets the shoulder up at 2 and three quarters. Bret grabs the chair again, Shawn yanks it away Bret spits on Shawn who has had enough and winds up with a swing, Bret ducks and a weary Undertaker receives the deathblow. Shawn is vivisbly pissed at himself and makes the reluctant 3 count at 28:19. Bret has won his 5th world championship. Im going 4 stars. I never liked how everyone turned on Michaels. Trying to stir sht up as saying it was intentional.
Overall Opinion: Cage match was good, then the ppv stinks up until Austin/Owen with a good finish between Bret and Taker.
Final Score: Meh. Im going with a 5.3. Just a little higher than last years Summerslam. 96 had a more balanced card as far as ratings go, this one had a bunch of 1 star matches but the three I mentioned above scored just as high or higher than anything from 96.