MovieChat Forums > Mean Machine (2001) Discussion > Quite, quite awful.

Quite, quite awful.

posted 18 years ago by kataya-honey
23 replies | jump to latest

It's somewhat shocking how the director has managed to extract such frankly humiliating performances from some fine character actors, Vas Blackwood, Jason Statham and Jason Flemyng in particular, and I'm just dying to know how he persuaded Sally Phillips to abandon every atom of the charm she usually displays so naturally.

Granted, there's not a great deal one can do with Vinnie Jones, but even so, whatever lottery money was scraped together to put towards film stock would have been better spent, in this humble girl's opinion, on buying the poor dear man some acting lessons.

I won't even mention the hilariously contrived script, which, even for the most ardent football fan, was creakingly amateurish at best.

Mercy me, I just did.

Apologies if all this sounds harsh, but I'm a little miffed at the cruel loss of an hour and a half of my life which would have been put to a much more profitable (and, indeed, enjoyable) use waxing my legs.

Dragsville, darlings. Dragsville.

[–] firework_101 18 years ago

I can't believe you wasted your time coming online for the sole reason of dissing this movie. You're entitled to your own opinion, of course, but if the movie was so crap, why bother even visiting it's imdb page?

I just watched it (again) with a bunch of my mates and it's a good laugh. As someone wrote before me, don't be expecting Citizen Kane. It's just fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[–] kataya-honey 18 years ago

Darling, the point of forums such as this is to stimulate discussion, not necessarily to act as a cheerleader. As such, any point of view, mine, yours, gracious me, even the rugged Vinnie Jones's, is relevant.

Cheerleading is, of course, an entirely respectable profession. They're *such* pretty little things, aren't they?

Kisses,
kh

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy Parker

[–] barutha 18 years ago

i would disagree with that. i treat IMDB.com as a review site and decisions i make regarding things i watch are often influenced by IMDb users. so there. i happen to quite agree with her anyway. that film was pants.

[–] TWeeKx3 18 years ago

if you thought this was bad, then for heavens sake DO NOT watch national lampoons black ball... you'll want to mutilate your legs, nevermind shave them.

[–] mitza64 18 years ago

Indeed, an awful movie. I must admit i expected much more!

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] Wonderfulgal4378 18 years ago

Hey guys - I must admit I totally disagree. I think the film had a great mix of quality Brisish actors and Vinnie jones just made a plot that could never happen in real life a bit more believeable, its a film that you can watch and laugh at, feel sorry for some of the characters some of the time and just enjoy!

[–] mightyreds07 18 years ago

Its a fun movie, plain and simple. If you love football like me and my mates do its a great flick. Granted there are things wrong with the movie but what film dosen't have things wrong with it? A movie dosen't have to be deep and artsy and perfect to make it good. It can just be fun, and thats what this film was.

good flick, check it out.

[–] bizmarkee59-1 18 years ago

You are all stupid, this movie is wayyyyyyyy more entertaining than the original Longest yard and it takes a huge *beep* on the new one....Vinnie Jones did a good job!!! shut up all of you!!!!!

ONE NILLLLLL TO THE MEAN MACHINEEE ONE NILLLLLLLLL!

[–] switch_59 18 years ago

Look love it's only a film. They are only actors, puppets if you will. Words thrown in their mouths and fat pay cheques in their pockets. That's life. The film was one of the best i have seen. Why don't you tell this to somebody who cares like a brick wall! If you don't like the film then who really cares?! Go and watch a cartoon or something.

[–] cooperzombie-1 18 years ago

I thought this movie was very good one of the best remakes of the longest yard. I liked it so much in fact that I had it imported to the US just so I could see the few seconds of unedited fotage.cost me 25 bucks US compared to 10 bucks for the edited US version

The new longest yard with adam sandler is just terible.

[–] jackmoss88 18 years ago

The film did everything it aspired to do. I enjoyed it a lot.

[–] blueburgerz 18 years ago

If you're gonna criticise, then at least go into some detail. Just start by saying you didn't like it, and then go into detail for the majority of the post! We know you didn't like the acting, but you haven't said why!

[–] trapdoorstudios 18 years ago

I expected this film to be awful... and honestly the acting isnt quite up there with the other indie brit films... but what doyou expect from a film starring Vinnie Jones.

However this film is a laugh... there are many comic moments which play well, and overall the charecters are likeable if not ultimately believable.

I was surprised by Jason Stratham playing a scot, but he has so little dialogue it doesnt really matter...

For me the two commentators made the football match.

I have a great distaste for people who come to a film board purely to slag off a film. Especially a film like this. What were you expecting? Lawrence of Arabia? With Vinnie Jones at the helm this was always going to be a violent take on football... I mean for christ-sakes... its called Mean Machine! The film was helped by the fact that most watchers actually know who Vinnie is, and his reputation for dirty play.

I would recomend that you start reading the papers to see whats on and make up your 'pretty little mind' darling before watching films. That way I may never have to read a review by you again.

NB. Do you post on films you actually like, or just slate those you dont.

[–] Elmsters 18 years ago

Perhaps I'm generalising but surely anybody who uses the word "Darling" even ironically, wouldn't like a movie featuring convicts, thuggish footie, and Vinnie

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Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care

[–] king_of_bob 16 years ago

So what? You saw the cover of the movie and decided "Hey... this looks like a witty insightful film through and through"? Honestly, you should have known what you were getting into before hand, and you have nobody but yourself to blame for not enjoying it.

Bender: I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.

[–] 16 years ago

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