Fave quotes???

Top of the Tower quotes:
"When i arrived on the monday night, my children were very tired. I took them into the bathroom, and i decided to bath them. I turned on the tap and what can only be described as sh!t came out of the tap. I went to tell the manager, he assured me it was perfectly natural for this time of year, my rep didn't want to know. By the third day, my children were starting to smell of sh!t. I was bathing my own children in sh!t. GO HOME!"

"It's not funny!"
"I'm not laughing, i'm shooting people! It's only rain, you're not gonna melt, you daft b!tch!"

"There's them two lads from Yorkshire we met, Lee and Ian. They were funny, them two lads. Won't be laughing in two months, when she misses her period."

"Garlic...bread?"

"Hello my name is Gavin I'm your rep we're gonna go to the Gold Coast Hotel past the MGM Grand past Caesar's palace through New York New York! Anybody any questions?
I said, 'Are you wearing eyeliner?'"

"Did you do that? Rose perfume? Get an empty bottle of Rola-Cola, right, this is what you do. Fill it up full of water, and put rose petals in it, and then sell it! I bet Avon lady were sh!ttin herself when she saw that!"