Things We Learned From Havoc
1. Wigger parties in the Palisades involve the burning of perfectly good furniture.
2. Throwing up is a good indication of knowing your alcohol limit.
3. The '65 Chevy that Toby is driving can also be seen in Alpha Dog.
4. Anyone who pays $110 for a quarter-ounce of weed deserves to get jacked.
5. Don't call a Latino 'ese' if you're white. They don't like it when you talk like that.
6. Always sport your best Gucci visor to school the day after getting jacked and pissing yourself in front of your crew.
7. Before sucker-punching someone, always spew a random derogatory comment about their significant other as an ice-breaker.
8. Wiggers are apparently capable of throwing down only in the daytime. At night, they just get jacked and piss themselves in front of their crew.
9. Seeing Anne Hathaway's butt crack 5 and a half minutes into the movie was a good indication as to where the rest of the film was going.
10. One of the guys from Training Day who had his sh!t pushed in is in this movie.
11. A movie like this wouldn't be complete without some weirdo with a camera.
12. We'll never really know if Sasha ever ate the worm.
13. After getting jacked in the hood, just go there the next night for your Girls Night Out...coked out of your mind at that.
14. Apparently, clubs in the Pallisades permit underage drinking.
15. F!ckin' cholos got me.
16. Rich families are always dysfunctional.
17. If you are a wigger, you don't have to be hard around your girl all the time. Some are actually empathetic and wouldn't mind sharing feelings.
18. Rich dysfunctional families communicate via refrigerator notes.
19. Don't bother trying to outdrink a Latino with tequila.
20. If a bunch of cops roll up on the spot and you have a gun, throw it in that little bush that's a foot away from where you're sitting. They'll never find it there...
Will someone please pass me the f!cking asparagus?