Favorite Line ? - National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002) Discussion

[–] 20 years ago

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P.S. stfu!

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Van: write that down
Guy about to jump: I dont have a pencil
Van: well then remember it

LOL, well it goes something like that...

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] BridgetJonesChick 20 years ago

"Then we bumbed uglies, twice, it was the best 30 seconds ever, ever."

This movie is SOOO funny, every line is good!

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] brando691 20 years ago

"are you stalking me, coz that would be super..." I love this movie.

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] IAMRAZOR 20 years ago

My favorite would be during the special features, as he is talking to the jumper from the beginning of the film, he suddenly cuts from his dialogue and says "Good God I'm naked!"

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[–] bhodgman 20 years ago

"You're a bad little Badalandabad."

Formula of my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal. ~ Nietzsche

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] aj84 20 years ago

When Vans at Gwens house and he says "Rihard you never told me that you were a DIK, not that you had to".

And when Vans trying to rally the geeks and they say no one knows they are there he replies - Ohhhh con trare mon frere!"

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[–] Craig-202 20 years ago

i dont remember the exact phrase and im too lazy to throw the DVd in, but when Taj is telling van how badly he wants to get laid.

some thgin like
i want to dine at just one american pink taco stand, i want to take it to the CAR WASH, and let my *beep* air dry!

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[–] SilentJay76 20 years ago

I don't know the exact quote, and I don't have the DVD to check it, but Taj wanting to learn the "great american art of muff-diving" is hilarious! But there are a lot of GREAT quotes in this one.

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[–] danwilsonfest 20 years ago

Big Fan of this movie. I really like when Van is all dejected (although i get sad in a very heterosexual way) and he says to Richard "say hi to your Gerbal"

Also, when Teck-money tells him that he's got to get his dog "taken care of" He retorts in perfect Van-speak "thats his decision."

However, I agree, "I'm bleeding" is a classic!

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[–] winkie_69 20 years ago

-hold on, you mean i just put my mouth on your cock pump?

-i just wanted to bring my A game

-you need three things; scented candles, massage oils, and Barry White. . . Write that down

-remember, always take a pre-exam dump

If you can't have fun doing something, why are you doing it?-me

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[–] AnGeLs_GiRl 20 years ago

These are my fave lines

T!t! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that sh*t, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

Blue..Blue. It brings out your eyes, Kids got killer eyes, Not unlike yourself has anyone ever told you that?

Look who's checking out the baderlanderbad.. Her name is Naomi.. 'I moan' backwards (pauses for a moment)Yep

laterz
Angel Fan Unill The End

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] bobknobbers 20 years ago

Teck: "I hate to break it to you Ming!!! But you ain't Asian!"
black guy: "Man you ever hear of Tiger Woods bitch!"

Also

Van saying: "those circus midgets can not hold their booze!

"that's no bong, it's for my schlong!" "you tellin me I just put my mouth on your cock pump!"

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] GoldfishCrack88 20 years ago

I have a couple favorite lines from this movie...

Dinner for two, Me and You, Clothing Optional...
________________________________________________________________________

Don't thank me, Thank Penicillin.
________________________________________________________________________

Hey... NOOO Cock Pump!
________________________________________________________________________

Gwen: How many times has your heart led you into the girls locker room?

Van: This would be a first.

Gwen: Why do I find that hard to believe?

Van: I'm not saying I've never been in here before it's just usually a different part of my anatomy doing the leading.

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[–] Rockoff 20 years ago

Dont remember exactly, but towards the end when Van is packing up his stuff:

Taj: We can get the Law club to help you, they own you after the
"Sue me, Screw me"- party!

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[–] slackgolf 20 years ago

VAN: "I'm gonna need a few more cocktails before I start caughin for you fellas."

VAN: "Good day to die Mcdoogle."

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[–] straight_shooter_18 19 years ago

*I'm bleeding!!*
* *beep* u van *beep* u, u pussy a$$ *beep*
*its no bong, its for my shong*
*It was the best 10 seconds ever*
*Gwen: you ok?
richard: did you?
Gwen: Its hard to determine in 15 seconds*

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[–] OrangePickle 19 years ago

Vans Dad: Excuse me, do you know where i can find Van Wilder?
Drunk kid: in the Guiness book of World fuccin records man..under the RADDEST FUCCIN dude alive!

Naomi: I *love* this song
Taj: I no...it is the white barry.

Richard: Ohhh Gwen..your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus..im fairly confident im going to ejaculate..im releasing my seminal fluids inside of you NOW.

Jeannie: Oh my god..we make *such* the fab team. Last night..i was so like Bonnie and you were so like Clyde. And now this?
Richard: Will you shut up? im trying to pleasure you.
Jeannie: Sorry Richard..pleasure away.....P.S this is an awesome room
Richard: P.S..SHUT THE FUCC UP.

Van: I look at you guys and you know what i see?
Kid: A collective GPA of 52,000?
Van: Yeaaahhh..NO

Van: Gwen used me for her story, married an asswipe, and ran over my heart with a big metaphorical truck....originally performed by Air Supply

"This movie is so confusing,shes possessed,shes not possessed - those tits better b STACKED"

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[–] 19 years ago

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[–] 19 years ago

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[–] gabbittzza 20 years ago

In the end after Van tells Gwen that he was afraid that she wouldn't come she replies:"Well I couldn't decide what panties I should wear." Van:"Which one did you choose?", "NONE!"

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[–] 10067544 20 years ago

I have so many favourite lines here's a few of them -

"Don't be a fool ,wrap your tool"

"I was the first ever male cheerleader at hodington high, the first ever"

"You should always check the turf before you walk out onto the field"

"A fallen soldier never leaves his commander behind, i will stay on at no extra charge"

This is the best teen comedy ever created

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[–] AlphaKennyOne 20 years ago

Why hasn't anyone mentioned these'ums?

"Do you know why I chose you to be my assistant?"

"So you could teach me how to muff dive?"

"No........well, yes."

and...

"F*CK YOU VAN WILDER!! You heared me I said, "F*CK YOU, you...you, you...P*SSY ASS MOTHERF*CKER! You.....D*CK SUCKER!"

"Don't sugar-coat it. Tell me how you really feel about me."

also...

"I feel on fire!" "Burning up" "You make me feel so.....damn......HOT! AAHH!"

"And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you."

"I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows."

"This party so rocks, Richard!"
"This party sucks rectum, Jeannie!"

"We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity."

"This tastes like s*it! You got any scotch?"

I can go on, beleive me I can, but I must save the rest for you all to enjoy some more.

---
I take a whiskey drink. I take a coffee drink. And when I want to pee, I use the kitchen sink!

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] Monstro_Munch5000 20 years ago

The best piece of dialogue in the entire movie is as follows.

McDoogle - "Im proud of ya Wilder, Ive been waiting all these years for you to realise your potential."

Van - "Thats why we had friction? God I thought it was because I fooled around with your daughter Freshman year."

McDoogle - *Short Laugh* "You fooled around with my daughter?"

Van - *Short Laugh* WHAT?!

Sheer Brilliance!

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[–] michaeltaylor1993 20 years ago

this was 1 of the best movie's I've ever seen but the line that was my favorite was:

Van:When I say a word you say the first thing that comes into your head.

Taj:OK

Van:Milk.

taj:Tit

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] ensbri001 20 years ago

"Those circus midgets can not hold their booze!" That's a killer for me, as well as: "If he's here then who's running hell?" absolutely love them.

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] callen6109 20 years ago

Best teen movie EVER (said like male cheerleader from Huntington High)

"Crazy kids, with their crazy... VD."

"Oh. Well I - I'm flattered... I'd love for your piece to be on me..."

"What is that intoxicating scent you're wearing, Doris?"

"SOO... am I here for a physical? 'Cause I'm gonna need a few more cocktails before I start coughing for you fellas."

"I see a bunch of party animals, crouched in ATTACK POSITION."

"Ahh - wow. All this time, I thought I was more to you than just some flacid story."

Sooo sooo many.

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[–] brownwings 20 years ago

Taj: "Everybody at the school wants to have a party thrown by Van Wilder, 'The Party Liasion'... your cash camel has arrived!"

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[–] 20 years ago

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[–] powershower07 20 years ago

Van- Congratulations Taj you just got yourself your first bl*w job!

que*f at the strip club scene

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[–] 20 years ago

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