1990 Royal Rumble Review

Here's another review for today. I finished reviewing Starrcade 89 earlier. This event blows that one out of the water. This Rumble has my personal favorite roster of them all. They really loaded the Rumble roster while at the expense of possibly hurting the undercard. Jesse Ventura and Tony Schiavone are calling the action.


Match #1

Tag Team Match

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w Jimmy Hart Vs The Bushwhackers

Mostly a comedy match with the Bushwhackers biting the Rougeaus even the referee!!! Course they don't draw a dq because they are retards and you can't fault them for that. Raymond tries a sleepr but gets sent into the turnbuckle. Whackers with double clotheslines and they own early. Jacques has a beard for this matchup, and this would be the last time the Rougeaus would be together on a ppv over 18 years ago now. Jacques goads Luke into trying a clothesline but of course he misses and hits Raymond instead. Rougeaus bail and talk to Jimmy Hart. Boy Jacques sure has a mouth on him, ranks up there with Akeem and Iron Mike Sharpe. Jacques suckers Butch into the ring to distract the ref while Raymond chokes Luke with the tag rope. Raymond comes in and fires Luke into the turnbuckle and he bounces off about 3 feet into the center of the ring. Luke plays idiot in peril for a few minutes. Jacques plays a great heel by showboating and pissing off the crowd. Raymond in and he uses a reverse chinlock on Luke. Butch is in and in Ventura's word "he's exploding on Raymond. Breaks down as typical tag matches do. Hart interferes and the Whackers drag him in, they pull off his coat and try to tear it apart only for the Rougeaus to dropkick both Whackers. Rougeaus try a pin but a close 2. Bushwhackers suprise both Rougeaus with a battering ram, nailing Jacques who sends Raymond out and Jacques gets pinned at 11:50. Not horrible but nothing special. 2 stars. Why did they always job the Rougeaus to the Bushwhackers Anyway? Twice inside of a year at ppvs when ppvs were only 4 times a year.


Mean Gene interviews Ted Dibiasie who looks aggervated. Gene manages to get a hold of Ted's number, turns out he drew #1. Dibiasie blames security and the fact he didn't get a chance to draw his number, but Mean Gene say's he let Virgil do it. Dibiasie say's it doesn't matter because he will be there at the end and win it.


Match #2

Singles Match

Brutus The Barber Beefcake Vs The Genius


Another comedy match. Beecake mocks Poffo because of his fruity personality, this is back when you could do that and not be accused of ties to nazi war parties. Genius controls for awhile, even using headbutts with success. He tries a pin but Brutus kicks out and Poffo lands throat first across the bottom rope. Genius slams Brutus then goes up top. He gets dropped by Brutus. Beefcake slams The Genius. He tries a sleeper but Beefcake gets out of it, referee goes down hard to the outside and Beefcake slaps on the sleeper and puts Poffo out. He starts cutting The Genius's hair until Mr Perfect runs down and attacks Brutus. Hennig grabs a chair with help from Poffo and they bust up Brutus's ribs pretty good. Ends in a double DQ at 9:27. Meh ill say 1 1/2 stars.

Sean Mooney interviews Bobby Heenan, Rick Rude, Andre The Giant and Haku backstage. Interview quickly breaks down into a who's gonna win squabble.

Match #3

Submission Match

Greg The Hammer Valentine w Jimmy Hart Vs Rugged Ronnie Garvin

Hammer retired Garvin in a match last year, Garvin became a ref and annoyed Hammer for a few weeks, then he got canned from that gig and was reinstated before Survivor Series 89. Here's the final showdown in the feud. One would ride out his contract for another year and the other would become an Elvis impersonator impersonator weeks later. Valentine complains about Garvin is wearing a brace on his leg. Hammer injured himself back in 88 and has been wearing a shin guard ever since, which he would turn around and use to add pressure on the figure four so Garvin is sporting his own, the Hammer Jammer against the Heart Breaker.

Hammer bails then Garvin goes after him Valentine takes over and works on Garvins leg until Garvin drops him with a series of headbutts but hurts himself in the process. Hammer knocks down Garvin and tries a figure four but gets kicked off. Both guys try pinfalls but they don't count in this match. Hammer gets a figure four but it has no effect because the Hammer Jammer blocks it. Garvin makes goofy faces at a pissed Valentine, LOL!!! Valentine tries a standing backbreaker and lets go after a few moments then starts choking garvin. Turns into a chopfest and they echo throughout the building. Garvin with a drop toe hold into an indian deathlock. Both guys fight outside which is okay since there is no count. Garvin tries a piledriver but gets backdropped on the floor. Hammer beats up Garvin in the corner. Garvin in the tree of whoa as Hammer kicks him. Both guys colide on a rope run and Jimmy Hart takes off the Hammer Jammer. Valentine slaps on the figure four and this time it takes effect. Garvin manages to turn it over forcing Valentine to break it. Hammer goes up top and Garvin hops on one leg to slam him off, then he takes off the Heart Breaker. Hammer gets caught in the ropes and Garvin grabs the Heart Breaker and gets ready to beat Valentines ass with it. Hart interferes and Hammer gets clobbered with the shin guard. Garvin puts on the sharpshooter before it was called that and Valentine submits at 16:43. Jesse and Tony argue if Greg actually said he gives up. Im going 3 stars.


Mean Gene interviews Mr Perfect about the attack earlier. Perfect draws the Perfect number #30.

Today's Raw segment. The Brother Love Show. Love interviews Queen Sherri and Saphire. Easy to see where it will go. Love and Sherri rag on Saphire until she gets fed up and slaps the queen. Macho runs down and goes after Saphire, that was Savages whole gimmick back basically a toned down wife abuser. Dusty makes the save and this would start the Dusty/King feud.

Match #4

Hacksaw Jim Duggan Vs The Big Bossman

Mostly a brawling match. After a brief brawl Bossman takes the advantage. Bossman works in his baseball slide to the outside and punches Duggan while he's on the ropes. I think this might be the first time he used the move in the WWF because when he first arrived he was about 50lbs heavier. Bossman controls most of the match, he slaps on a bearhug but Duggan lucks out and touches the ropes. Hacksaw battles back but Bossman stops him short, then goes up top and misses a splash. Both guys collide head to head and collapse. Slickster interferes and distracts Hacksaw and Bossman tries to attack but nails slickster instead. Slick passes the nightstick and Bossman clobbers Duggan drawing a dq at 9:58. Never really cared for this match im giving it 1 1/2 stars.


Next up is a classic moment in Wrestling history. Commentary from nearly every guy in the Rumble. Dino Bravo and Earthquake, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, Rockers (rockers say they will take out Warrior and Hogan?), Hercules, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Jimmy Snuka, Akeem and the Ultimate Warrior.

Next up the WWF asked a bunch of marks earlier in the day who is going to win. Alot of FAILS in that one.

Back to the backstage where Macho King, Jake Roberts, Powers Of Pain, Hart Foundation, H*nky Tonk Man and Hulk Hogan say there bits and here we go.

Amazing 28 of the 30 guys in the Rumble got there time to plug themselves. Piper and Red Rooster were the only one's not to. Piper was still in the middle of the probably forgotten about feud with Rick Rude and Rooster was an alternate for Barry Windham who was cut from his second WWF ppv in a row.


Match #5

1990 Royal Rumble

Well we know Ted Dibiasie has #1 so he makes his way out. #2 is Koko B Ware and Dibiasie jumps him and knocks him around for a few seconds. He makes the mistake of running Koko's head to the turnbuckle and Koko fights back and gets his token offense. Koko tries a blind charge and gets shoulder lifted over and out. #3 is Marty Jannetty. Dibiasie jumps him and Marty fires back. Jannetty sends Dibiasie into the corner and runs into a big boot. Dibiasie goes to the second rope and jumps off only to get caught with a punch from Marty. They run near the ropes and Jannetty tries a flying cross body but Dibiasie drops and Marty flies over the top and out. Crowd is really booing at this point, so far Dibiasie has cut down two of the no chance in hellers. #4 is....JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS. Biggest pop so far tonight, this feud has been simmering for months and Dibiasie once again jumps the guy before he can get in the ring. Ted slams Jake outside then slaps on the million $ dream. Jake runs him into the post to break it. Back inside Jake lays into Dibiasie. He hits a short clothesline and goes for a ddt but Dibiasie backdrops out of it. #5 the Macho King charges in and they double team Jake badly for the next two minutes taking the life out of him Jake gets caught in the ropes. #6 is Roddy Piper and he goes sickhouse on Dibiasie and Savage while the crowd s***s itself, Piper lets Jake out of the ropes and they pair off with Savage and Dibiasie, turns into a texas tornado match and Piper and Jake at one point almost deck eachother but do a double take that is a classic Rumble moment. Piper almost goes out prematurely but balances himself on the ropes #7 is the Warlord and he squares off with Piper. Jake gets double teamed some more by Dibiasie and Savage. Savage has been making alot of saves on Dibiasie throughout this thing, Shiavone say's he's been paid off, no suprise. #8 is Bret Hart and the 13 year olds squeal. He helps Piper double team Warlord. Jake still getting beat up by Savage and Dibiasie. #9 Bad News Brown takes his shots at the faces and Jake gives Dibiasie a short clothesline then goes for a ddt but Savage clotheslines him out. #10 is Dusty Rhodes and again the crowd looses it. He goes right for Savage and eliminates Savage on a blind charge, Savage takes a horrendous fall outside. #11 is Andre The Giant and he is immediatley attacked by the Warlord and eliminates him with one hand Mr Fuji jumps up to yell at Andre and Bobby Heenan pulls him down and they argue outside. #12 is the Red Rooster and no many people care as expected. He runs into Rhodes then he gets a sh*t kicking from Andre for the next 2 minutes until #13 Axe of Demolition comes in but not in time to save Rooster who gets tossed after a headbutt. Dusty and Axe tie up Andre then give him a double elbow on the top of the head. Piper gets attacked by Bad News and shoulder lifts him out Bad News pulls him out and they brawl to the back in what would be the start of their forgettable feud. #14 is Haku and he helps out his tag champ partner Andre. #15 is Smash and the Colossal Connection/Demolition feud picks up. #16 is Akeem and while Demolition double team Andre Dusty sends out Bret Hart with a back elbow shot by the ropes, hardly noticeable in the background. Demolition take out Andre with a double clothesline and he gives a war cry as he tumbles to the floor. #17 is Jimmy Snuka and he scuffles with Akeem Bulls**ts and gets a flying headbutt to the back of the head which puts him out, a crap showing after last years. #18 is Dino Bravo and he gets a double headbutt from Haku and Snuka I liked that part:). Dibiasie in trouble again and he gets some help from Virgil. #19 is The Canadian Earthquake. He starts clearing the ring some by attacking Dusty and eliminating him in short order with a clothesline to the back, Dusty yells ah sh** as he goes out. Demolition go after him but he scoop slams Axe over the top rope. #20 is Jim Neidhart and everybody gangs up on Quake and it takes 5 guys to dump him, he takes a hard fall over the turnbuckle Bravo makes a half assed attempt to save him. Dibiasie gets a double atomic drop from Anvil and Smash and he's almost dead in there. #21 is the IC champion Ultimate Warrior. He flies in and gets attacked by Bravo, they are having one of those "this weeks feud" things and Bravo hits an atomic drop but Warrior dumps him easy. Haku/Snuka and Smash gang up on Warrior he fights them off and beats on Smash who's been there quite awhile for a tag wrestler. Warrior and Anvil chop Dibiasie into oblivion then attack eachother as Ted scrambles to a neutral corner. #22 is The Model Rick Martel. He works over Smash who looks like he's just about done. Martel trying to dump Anvil. Haku dumps Smash over the ropes but he's still in, then Haku blasts him with that crescent kick to end his night. Anvil knocks Martel out but he scoots back in underneath. #23 is Tito Santana and he unloads on Martel. Dibiasie in trouble again and Virgil gives him a push to keep him in. #24 is The *beep* Tonk Man he gets clobbered by Warrior right off the bat. Anvil gets caught and dumped from behind and dumped. Dibiasie attacks Warrior and Warrior reverse's an irish whip and eliminates him with one big ol clothesline and the crowd looses it again. They don't have time to calm down as #25 World Champ Hulk Hogan comes flying in and gets attacked by Snuka, he eliminates him with a clothesline then eliminates Haku with a big boot. What? He's got a problem with island people? Haku had one hell of a run here. Martel and Santan go over the ropes but Martel scoots back in again and Tito gets dumped. *beep* chokes out Hogan with his t-shirt. Warrior and Martel pairing off. Hogan fights off *beep* and beats the s*** out of him finally eliminating him. #26 is Shawn Michaels and he gets in 3 or 4 jabs on Martel before Warrior attacks him and throws him at Martel who shoulder lifts him out to eliminate him, oh fk you bookers!!! Warrior throws out Martel and then?.......the greatest moment in the history of our sport. Hogan and the Warrior!!! They do a staredown then try shoulder blocks to a stalemate then they do a criss cross routine and it ends with both guys clotheslining eachother. #27 is The Barbarian who measures them with elbow drops and kicks. #28 Rick Rude comes flying in prematurely and he goes after Warrior. Rude drops him with a standing dropkick and then helps Barbarian to eliminate Hogan, Warrior saves Hogan. Ventura doesn't understand that logic. Rude and Barbarian gang up on Warrior and Hogan charges the three guys and clothesline Rude and Barbarian causing Warrior to fall out, Hogan collapses in a suspiciously heelish way like he doesn't want Warrior to know he did it? Or he's just tired. Ventura say's Hogan did it intentionally then calls Warrior an idiot when he jumps in and beats down Rude and Barbarian then runs off as the crowd cheers. Hercules is #29 and he helps Hogan tag against Rude and Barbarian. Hercules eliminates Barbarian with a shoulder lift then #30 Mr Perfect comes running down. He helps Rude against Herc and Jerk because they are buddies going back to their school days. Rude eliminates Herc with a clothesline. A bit of useless info that nobody cares about here. Mr Perfect is wearing a slightly different outfit from his attack on Beefcake earlier in the night. First time he showed up he was sporting a orange singlet with a black and green patter on the back now in the Rumble the green section is missing. Wardrobe Malfunction? Rude and Perfect gang up on Hogan until a full nelson blind charge goes awry and Rude knocks Perfect out through the ropes. Hogan whips Rude to the ropes and Hennig in an unperfect like moment pulls the ropes down accidently eliminating an irrate Rude. Hogan flings Hennig back in then ducks his head and gets a kick to the chops. Hennig with the perfect plex but Hogan hulks up then slingshots him into the corner post then tosses him out at 58:39 by my clock. One of the best Rumbles of all time, even though it got dull towards the end and felt rushed after the Hogan/Warrior showdown im going with 4 stars.



Overall score. It feels like a 4.1 to me. As most people will agree the undercard was mediocre at best and the Rumble saved it. But that's to be expected when you put nearly all the big shots in the main event.