MovieChat Forums > Intimacy (2001) Discussion > How far would you let your actor partner...

How far would you let your actor partner go?

posted 13 years ago by chovik
10 replies | jump to latest

If your partner was an actor just how far would you feel comfortable letting them go(not so much as letting them go...they make their own decissions) in the name of their profession? What would be acceptable and what wouldn't? Is passionately kissing their fellow actor OK...would a brutal sexual attack be OK because they were the victim and it was as if it was out of their control in the film? Just thinking does the emotion behind the scene make any difference.

[–] ChildofGallifrey 13 years ago

Speaking as an actor, my girlfriend is completely okay with anything I have to do short of actual sexual intercourse. She understands that it's just acting, but that it's my job to make it seem real. We enjoy a high level of trust in our relationship though, so I'm sure I don't speak for everyone in saying that.

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."

[–] angloo 12 years ago

Kerry Fox's partner (now husband) had a very insightful informative response to these questions. Considering they are still together (and now have two children) after more than a decade, I believe the idea of "we talked about it and I trust her" is lost on so many posters here. As a performer myself (who, admittedly, has never done a nude or sex scene), I would expect the same of my partner. And for that matter, a person who cannot distinguish between a screen kiss or sex scene and a real-life one is not one I would want to be involved with anyway.

If porn actors and actresses can separate their on-screen from off-screen lives, it is beyond naive to think that mainstream actors are incapable of the same thing. We're only human, of course: Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke/Carre Otis fell in love after playing lovers on screen. But for the most part, these are simply scenes in a movie in which the actor plays a character. Simple.

Get over it.
I also agree with some posters that North Americans tend to be way too accepting of blood, violence and gore (which I abhor) and way too squeamish about love, sex and nudity...a priority that is completely self-destructive and ass-backwards.

[–] kidjay83 11 years ago

As long as its kept professional agreeing to do unsimulated love scenes is the same as cheating.If my g/f wanted to do a unsimulated scene i aint stopping her from doing it but that would be the end of us.Whether and actor should a unsimulated sex scene shouldn't even be a second thought given to it.It should be and automatic no.
There is a difference between porn actors and regular actors regualr actors dont do porn.If your willing to let your b/f-g/f participate in a scene where there will be real sex.Who's to say they wont mess around with on you in real life where do you draw the line? Violence ,blood ,gore is all fake in movies sex is the only thing where it can be shown to be real.Film is a fantasy world its not supposed to be real.So if you show anything real in it then it automatically takes it out of context.
You can stab,shoot,torture,kill and blow up all you want in film.Everyone knows its fake thats why its entertaining people dont need to see the real thing.Just like the actors in the films dont need to be doing the real thing.To allow your partner to do it just shows you dont care enough about that person.Also you have no scruples for a relationship to work you need to have that.

"If you want art, don't mess about with
movies. Buy a Picasso"

[–] szlwson 10 years ago

You compare it to porn, and that's the thing, because she's an porn actress now. She was really sucking his dick.

[–] Helena727 9 years ago

I also agree with some posters that North Americans tend to be way too accepting of blood, violence and gore (which I abhor) and way too squeamish about love, sex and nudity...a priority that is completely self-destructive and ass-backwards.

Amen.

I (an American) find it very weird that people are so concerned that two actors having sex (in character) could be destructive to their real-life relationships -- yet no one is asking the same question about actors "merely" portraying characters who are in love!
. . . . . . . Real actors (as opposed to stars, celebrities, and line-readers) immerse themselves in the emotions and psychology of their respective characters to a degree that most of us can't even imagine -- meaning that the threat (if there is a threat) to the home relationship arises from THAT intimacy, not from real or fake sex.

Some actors' home relationships survive the demands of the profession; some don't. But the issue is the intensity of the emotional and psychological intimacy between actors, which (with great actors) is at maximum intensity even without physical intimacy.

"All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people."

[–] TheJesusAndMaryChain 12 years ago

penetration would be a problem...

- Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine

[–] chovik 12 years ago

Interestingly prostitutes have all types of sex but generally don't kiss on the lips...that is too "initimate" (good pun)

[–] thefiftiesguystrikesback 12 years ago

Well...
Unless actors Kieran O'Brien and Margo Stilley are in a relationship with each other, I'd say they BOTH have very understanding partners, cuz in the Michael Winterbottom movie 9 Songs, she actually performed felatio on him and he actually penetrated her.

[–] Howlin Wolf 11 years ago

As far as is required within the limits of what they were comfortable with… If you choose to date a performer, then you should do so with the knowledge that their job could potentially carry some pretty unusual demands.

"Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?!"

[–] kidjay83 11 years ago

First of all i wouldnt be dating anyone i worked with because based off experience .Have relations in the work place windes up turning really bad and it just isnt worth it in the long run.If i did have a partner who was a actress and was asked to do love scenes . I would be ok with her doing tasteful love scenes if she decided to go the more explicit route.I would propose to her the question of could you watch me do those same explicit scenes without getting upset ? Acting is just that its pretend ,make believe its not real never has been real never will be or should be .Once you decide to cross that line you are no longer or should be no longer considered too be and actor .
You should be placed with the real world and jersey shore types who cant act with a damn but .Are real in what they do for the simple sake that,thats all they have going for them.

Therefore we may call that art true at which does not seem to be art."