I found Jesus through watching this movie

I must second the insightful comments of the individual who began this thread. After 18 years of teaching film theory at various Ivy League institutions, I had found myself in a rut. Each semester, I was forced to show Citizen Kane to my students as the definitive film on the use of film language in character development. With the arrival, no pun intended, of Turbulence 3, I no longer have to sit through Orson Welles heavy handed vanity project every six months.

Imagine my excitement when my friend and former pupil Craig Sheffer sent me a copy of this straight-to-video triumph. Slade Craven is simply the finest lead character ever to be lensed. John Mann, in what could be the performance against which all future lead men will be judged, takes control of the screen from the first frame he is in, to the final, heart-wrenching moments when his character must land the plane. Mann is aided by the brilliance of Wade Ferley's take-no-prisoners screenplay, which features character development that would make Dostoyevsky himself feel like a hack. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Director Jorge Montesi uses his camera with the weight and authority of a modern day St. John the Evangelist. The visual work is so visceral and uncompromising that one is left with the sense that this is not merely a work of art which rivals the Mona Lisain importance and timelessness - it is the word of God himself.

In my long career as an academic, there come along movies which I feel I must show to my students to truly demonstrate the heights of human genius. Ishtar, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh, and Ernest: Scared Stupid, among others, come to mind. However, no film has ever come through the screen, grabbed me by the shoulders, shaken me, and demanded me to teach it as Turbulence 3. Not only do I show it to my classes each semester, but I have started an after-school program where we discuss the best way to use the film to end genocide in the third world. I have been left so humble by the film's greatness that I only make love to my wife as Slade Craven.

I invite everyone to watch this film and decide for themselves whether it is the greatest film ever made or the greatest single event in human history.

Yes this thread should become documented as the GOAT thread on imdb.com. (And I’m glad it was to some point). As a fine example of the best brilliantly written trolling/sarcasm — whatever you want to call it, when imdb.com commentary board was just launched and took off by storm.