Was Paul wrong?

I agree with the latter - Noone has a responsibility for another's relationship. It's only sex for God's sake - all this melodrama is childish.

He was a predator. He tested her in their first encounter... Telling her where to find the book on the shelf. She followed his instructions instead of remembering she had to leave (was late) and Predator Paul knew she would eventually do any thing for him... He used her and didn't give a damn about her or her family. Not saying it was all his fault, but Connie was so addicted to him and so easily manipulated by him that he was much more responsible for the mess than she was. If Connie said Goodbye Paul would have barely missed her.

There are guys out there that go after the guy that had sex with their girl or wife and hold him equally or more responsible. I never understood why a guy would get mad at some dude he doesn't even know as much as the person he's actually in the relationship with that lied and deceived him. But I don't think the person the spouse cheats with has a responsibility. If he knows the guy then that's another matter altogether.

Paul seems sincere/non-hypocritical in that he doesn't seem like he would (whether or not he was interested in marriage at all) object to his partner seeing someone else.

Paul was absolutely NOT WRONG. He was very straight forward about fooling around, and Diane Lane did not have to have her arm twisted to hop into bed with him. Paul was a nice guy. If anyone was wrong was the jerky Richard Gere, an insecure stalker, who was a murderer. You could tell he was a first class jerk, simply be the clothes he wore, especially that sweater. Don't forget the effect Gere had on the little kid, who looked like an escapee from the movie E.T. No wonder Diane Lane wanted to get out from under those people she was living with.

Personally I'm of the opinion that yes, the person a married person might cheat with should exercise a moral obligation to NOT be part of that.

Even though it may never affect them personally because it's not their marriage, they *should* care about the potential damage to other people's lives. I think it is their responsibility to not encourage potentially damaging behavior, just like you wouldn't join in if you see someone getting mugged.

When hurting other people is involved, you should care about avoiding doing so, whether it's driving your car or doing something that you know will cause disruption to someone else's life and family integrity.

Sexual pleasure is temporary. It's impossible to foresee the far reaching consequences of this type of behavior at times. "What a tangled web we weave......"

For me, it depends on the situation.

I'm old enough to have seen plenty of relationships crash and burn after an affair. In the case of Paul, he was clearly a predator in the sense that he not only made Connie aware he was interested, he kept the seduction up at full boil. He did everything but physically restrain Connie from leaving - it was still her call. I'm sure his success rate was quite high, and I'm sure he hit on tons of women. If he had simply helped Connie pick up her packages and wished her a fine afternoon, she would not have cheated, Connie's marriage likely would have lasted forever, and Paul would still be alive.

But I also don't put the blame on Paul - he was an opportunist. He targeted Connie certainly but she could have just gone home and she didn't. For me, it's more on her than Paul.