MovieChat Forums > Boa (2010) Discussion > Plan 9 for this century

Plan 9 for this century

posted 20 years ago by Groblin
9 replies | jump to latest

Since the classic of the unintentional-humour genre, Plan 9 From Outer Space, there has been no film quite like New Alcatraz.
The acting, the script, the story, all are so tragically terrible as to turn a mediocre monster movie into brilliant comedy.
All the B-grade sci-fi elements are present:
-Plot elements that lead nowhere (The deep hole that needed to be drilled, for no given reason. When that plan went awry, it was never an issue again)
-Bad science (A reptile can tunnel through 20 feet of ice and remain active and frisky)
-Seemingly unrehearsed dialogue (Trenton: "This must be the missing link!")
-Unbelievable characters ("You guys know a hell of a lot more than us about breaking outta prison")
-Monster aggression for no purpose (The snake stowed aboard the plane ... why?)

I am both amazed and appalled that this film hasn't achieved the cult status it deserves. It is a masterpiece of badly-thought-out shlock. A truly memorable movie experience.

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] brennak 18 years ago

"Haven't seen it, but it can't be worse than "Boa vs. Python."

At least BvP has some bad softcore scenes... this is 100% tit-less :p

[–] microcuts 20 years ago

"I am both amazed and appalled that this film hasn't achieved the cult status it deserves. It is a masterpiece of badly-thought-out shlock. A truly memorable movie experience."

hehe, yea.

It's one hell of a dreadful film. I don't think i've seen anything quite so bad, which is why I found it entertaining I guess...

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] brennak 18 years ago

"It's one hell of a dreadful film. I don't think i've seen anything quite so bad, which is why I found it entertaining I guess..."

Sadly, I found this to be "good" for a giant snake movie. If you truly want to watch the WORSE movie ever made in the entire world (that happens to involve giant snakes, especially), check out Python II. I was literally appalled at the entire flick, and god knows I love bad giant snake movies. horrible. watch it.

[–] metabad 14 years ago

OH GOD, I agree 100% with you, I mean I actually rather liked Boa and Python for what they were believe it or not. I wasn't looking for a masterpiece, I was just looking for a giant snake movie which is exactly what I got. But Python 2 was just bafflingly stupid. I mean, for example the scene that pissed me off the most was when they came up with the "brilliant" idea to use C4 to blow up the fire (a line I can remember word-for-word in my head sadly)...when in the scene before that...they're whacking each other in the head with fire extinguishers...COME ON!

[–] ladydragonflyz_2000 18 years ago

-Monster aggression for no purpose (The snake stowed aboard the plane ... why?)

I always figured it was because the vibrations attracted the snake. Didn't the nice doctor tell the other schlups to get off the car thingy because it would be attracted to the vibrations? So when the plane went off, the snake went 'yum!'

But I figured this movie would be one of those 'sit back, relax, and ogle the pretty' because it was on the Sci-Fi channel. They play the best B-grade sci-fi movies. =D (You can get some pretty weird dreams when you fall asleep to that channel!)

[–] Timbo-NL 18 years ago

"-Plot elements that lead nowhere (The deep hole that needed to be drilled, for no given reason. When that plan went awry, it was never an issue again)"

If I remember correctly, the tunnel was drilled in order to use the heat from the earth in the facility.

[–] Petronius Arbiter II 8 years ago

Here's the critical difference between this film and "Plan 9 from Outer Space." Let's take a quick look at the IMDb synopsis for this flick:

In the highest security prison, located in Antarctica, for the world's deadliest criminals, a mining operation unleashes a giant prehistoric snake with a voracious appetite. It is up to the prison staff, inmates, and two paleontologists to hunt down the beast, escape, or become its prey.

"New Alcatraz" passes the Ridley Scott test. It has an appealing premise. Ridley Scott could have made an excellent movie out of this synopsis.

Now let's look at the IMDb synopsis for "Plan 9":

Aliens resurrect dead humans as zombies and vampires to stop humanity from creating the Solaranite (a sort of sun-driven bomb).

Well, first of all, that's not a terribly accurate synopsis, though it's probably at least as accurate as anybody else's possible synopsis of "Plan 9," because...

Secondly of all, there's no way you can come up with a quick thumbnail synopsis of "Plan 9" that will adequately cover most of the unprecedented weirdness of that particular cinematic disaster, therefore...

Thirdly and most importantly, "Plan 9" fails the Ridley Scott test. There is no way in hell Ed Wood could have explained the premise of the movie he wanted to make to Ridley Scott, because he really had no idea of what story he was trying to tell, or what his movie was supposed to look like when it was done. Therefore, Ridley Scott could not make a good movie out of the premise of "Plan 9," because "Plan 9" didn't have enough of a premise to hang a baby doll's handkerchief on.

...Which make "New Alcatraz" either a more tragic failure, or a more comic failure, depending on your attitude. Good idea, horrible execution.

"I don't deduce, I observe."