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Nate's Journey: From Empath to Narcissist


At first, Brenda sees Nate as an individual who pulls in people's energy and feelings. It is exactly what allows him to be great undertaker despite his efforts to rebel against his family's business. His empathic abilities are actually what makes this his "calling" in life. Regardless of Brenda's observation, we have seen plenty if instances throughout the series where Nate's natural ability to relate to the bereaved out shined his colleagues who had been in the business longer. His ability to pull in people's energies and instantly relate to them is symptomatic of being an empath, though he is never outright called one on the show. There are some other clues in his character make-up, like his love of dogs when he started working at the doggy daycare and his love for being in nature. This is important t note because he actually preferred the doggy daycare to being an undertaker and never would have returned to Fisher & Sons had it not been for David's breakdown. Nate, while being a naturally good undertaker , seemed to constantly feel drained from working at the funeral home. Dealing with so many strong emotions on a daily basis would absolutely overwhelm an empath, but working somewhere like a doggy daycare would invigorate them.

Nate gives up a lot for the people in his life and never fully lives on his own terms. Still, by the end of the show we see him do some incredibly cruel and selfish things, particularly to Brenda. Before he dies he tells her he is leaving her for someone else, even while she is pregnant with his child and after she has taken responsibility for his other child from a former wide he treated very poorly. This is when Brenda, who is now a psychologist, calls him a narcissist and accuses him of being incapable of love.

The way that Nate can so easily discard Brenda, his wife and the mother of his children, does seem narcissistic. This is especially the case considering that his interactions with Maggie made Nate feel "like a better man than he actually was," to quote Brenda. She, on the other hand, made him feel worse, as did Lisa, because his relationships with them forced him to truly look at himself and how he treated others. Maggie didn't require that (yet), their relationship was too new. Nate seemed to get narcissistic supply from doing the "right thing" in marrying Lisa and being Brenda's "savior" through impregnating her. But when both those relationships became challenging, he crumbled and went looking for other sources.

Still, Nate does demonstrate the ability to reflect. He does experience remorse, regret, and guilt, so it is difficult to label him an outright narcissist. Also, take into consideration his empathic-like ability to relate. Was this really the narcissist's ability to imitate more than him actually feeling or knowing other's feeling? Perhaps he was only so drained working at Fisher & Sons due to all the pretending and acting he had to do. I can imagine how that could be tiring to a narcissist as well.

One encounter that stands out as both empathic and narcissistic was when Nate had sex with the serial killer's bereaved daughter. He was in pain, escaping inside a woman on the other side of that pain. Maybe he was able to channel her energy. It seemed as though he was able to relate to her pain due to Lisa's death. But when she came back, Nate felt delighted treating her cruelly in a way that I can only describe as narcissistic.

There are some of the opinion that empaths and narcissists are two sides of the same coin, so maybe that's why Nate seems to demonstrate both qualities over the span of the series.

Thoughts?

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I know it's long, but feedback would be great.











You think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

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Very interesting, and yes, I think you're right. I love the show for delving into such challenging ambiguity, making arguably its main character both so relatable yet potentially unsympathetic.

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It's very insightful. I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about Nate. I've seen the whole show six times, and my opinions on pretty much EVERYONE (with one exception - George, who I hated on my first viewing, and I still can't stand him now, possibly hate him even more) have changed a lot over the years, including Nate.

Initially he was one of my favourites, but somewhere along the way (maybe during second watching) he started sinking slowly and eventually became my least favourite Fisher. I still like him somehow, but I see him as someone who is always looking for greener grass and always wants people around him to change for him, never does the same for them, and even when they do change, he's still not really happy.

What you said about Maggie makes perfect sense, I am pretty sure that had he not died, he would have broken up with Brenda, started a relationship with Maggie, and at the first sign of a real problem with her, he would start thinking of the ways to get back together with Brenda.

I don't actually think Nate is a terrible person (even if it seems like it from my comments), I think he possesses a lot of great qualities, but when it comes to the romantic relationships, he is kind of the worst.

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Excellent analysis, thanks for the read.

Remember, Nate is the first and only Fisher to leave the family, until Claire in the final episode. Its clear even at a young age, Nate had trouble with commitment, to anything really. What's more, he decides to stay after his father's death and implies a number of times that his life wasn't all hunky-dory in Seattle either. In many ways Nate IS the same person he was at the beginning of the show. He only seems different because everyone else had grown and changed, while he stubbornly tried to stay the same.

I love that SFU contains a plethora of psychologically complex characters that evolve and grow as the series progresses. Such an intelligent, thought provoking show. Also, the older I get and the more I re-watch, the more I learn and take in.

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While you do acknowledge a lot of Nate's good qualities, calling him a narcissist is unfair to the character who embodies the impending death scenario where everything understandably feels more urgent and intense.

Nate really lives and experinces a lot of life in a the few years that we see him. From the beginning, he's trying to do the right thing by confronting his father issues, staying and joining the family business, trying to reach out to Claire and David, offering to break up the engagement with Brenda when he realizes his health condition, and marrying Lisa and being a good father to Maya.

He does make rash decisions but so do the other characters including Brenda and Lisa. When he survives his first operation, Nate goes into "family" mode and commits to Lisa. When Lisa dies, he returns to Brenda who by then is in "baby mode" so they also enable each-other. I would argue that if he had been in normal health, he would not have rushed. But he did not want to stop experiencing life and spend more time waiting to meet the right person etc. which lead to unhealthy coping measures and an eventually unhappy marriage. I think Nate and Brenda knew they were wrong for each-other but neither of them was good at really addressing their patterns and kept repeating them. Brenda replaces Nate with Joe, and then replaces Joe with Nate, conveniently still living in the same "grown up house" she had gotten with Joe. Nate is tired of grieving and wants a family so goes back an forth between Lisa and Brenda. I think it was a misguided way of staying comfortable in a familiar, albeit neurotic relationship, while they tried to move forward in life.

When Nate finally meets Maggie, he feels a real connection that is missing with Brenda. He is drawn to Maggie immediately and when he does sleep with her, he knows he betrayed Brenda. I don't think he's being narcissistic. He and Brenda knew their marriage was over and were just going through the motions, and trying to figure out if they would get divorced or not. While neither Nate or Maggie are "innocent", Nate does break up with Brenda as soon as he possibly can and tries to make things right again. Of course he could have handled things better but his desperation for his own happiness and fulfillment keep driving him to seize opportunities and act out of impulse. That however does not cheapen his feelings for Maggie. Things are not so black and white. I think thats what this show wonderfully portrays again and again.

It's actually very tragic that Nate dies so quickly after meeting and falling for Maggie. I think Maggie (or someone like her) would have been a better life partner for him than Brenda, Lisa, the Rabbi or all the other women we've seen him with. Maggie and Nate had similar qualities and situations. They both were understated but strong personalities, had complicated relationships with their fathers, and been dealing with grief and life disappointments, and wanted to have a strong faith or practice to hold on to. We see that the two could have been really good friends. Given time, I think they would have gotten together and would have had a real chance.

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