Wrestlemania 16 Review
Today we review Wrestlemania 16. We are back in Anaheim at the pond the sight of Wrestlemania 12. Quite a bit of negativity towards this Mania. The card looks pretty good to me. Let's go to the review.
Lilian Garcia sings the national anthem, trying to plug her talents for a music deal.
Match 1: Big Bossman and Bull Buchanon Vs Godfather and D-Lo Brown. Godfather and D-Lo come to ringside escorted by Ice T who performs a new entrance theme that has some repetitive lyrics to say the least. D-lo and Bull start off, D-lo gets the early advantage. Tags in Godfather and he slams Bull. Godfather misses an elbow drop that is way off the mark. Bull tags in Bossman, Bossman misses something and Godfather starts working on Bossman. D-lo is in and he starts getting beat on by Bull. Bull and Boss double team D-lo. Crowd starts a Bossman sucks chant. Bull goes up top, but Godfather shakes the ropes and Bull goes down hard in the corner, D-Lo follows up with a huricinrana. D-Lo gets the tag, and the Ho man goes crazy. Everybody get involved and Bossman catches D-Lo with a Bossman slam, then Bull polishes him off with a legdrop off the top rope and gets the pin at 8:30. Meh. 1 1/2 star.
Match 2: Hardcore Battle Royale for the Hardcore Title. Crash defends the title against Tazz,Viscera,Pete Gas,Rodney,Joey Abs,Hardcore Holly,Taka Michinoku,Funaki,Mosh,Thrasher,Farooq, and Bradshaw. It's a 15 minute time limit and you have to pin the current title holder to get the belt then survive with it. Im picking the houdini of hardcore crash. Immediatly Tazz pins Crash, new champ. Too much action to call. Viscera pins Tazz for the belt after ramming Tazz into the post. Viscera has Kaientai's flag and is smacking someone, there trash all over the place. Crash is busted open on the forehead. Bradshaw goes crazy with a metal sheet and knocks down everybody. Crowd is getting behind him. Pete Gas is busted open. Viscera goes up top and the acolytes slam him off the top rope. Farooq breaks a 2x4 over Viseras back. Viscera is down. Acolytes put Funaki and Taka on Viscera and pin all of them. But the ref says Funaki got the legal pin. Everybody chases Funaki to the back where Rodney pins him. Gas pins Rodney immediatly then loses it the thrasher inside of 20 seconds. Theyre fighting in the entrance way. Gas smacks Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and gets the pin to regain the title. Tazz pins Gas. Fans get an ECW chant going. Tazz tries pinning Crash but the dumass referee still counts the pin even though Tazz already has the belt. Crash pins Tazz for the title with 30 seconds left. Tazz puts on the tazzmition until the 5 second mark. Holly runs in and hits Tazz with something, and scores a pin at the 0 mark. Nobody knows who is champ now. Finkle sounds confused but they give it to Holly. Matches like this along with the 24/7 rule turned the hardcore title into a joke. Not nearly a joke as it would become in the next two years. Before it was dumped in 2002 it changed hands 120+ times in 2002 alone, literally. I give this event 1 1/2 stars for the goofy finish.
Match 3: Test and Albert with Trish Stratus Vs Al Snow and Steve Blackman. Snow brings out some retard in a cheese costume as a new gimmick for Blackman or some bulls***. JR's headset dies aw:( we got feedback. Test boots Snow in the mush and gets a two count. I bet Vince will fire JR for his headset breaking. Blackman comes in and gets run over by Albert. Snow and Blackman do some good double teaming. Test gets a hot tag and starts knocking down the opposing team. Blackman goes outside T and A double team Snow for a 2 count. Snow does an asai mooonsault onto Albert on the outside. Blackman sets up test accross his knee and Snow does a sweet legdrop off the top rope. Everybody gets involved. Albert press slams Blackman and Test finishes it with an elbow drop off the top rope and gets the pin at 6:57. Snow and Blackman beat up cheesey after the match. Alright. 2 stars.
Match 4: Triple Threat Ladder Match for the Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz Vs Hardy Boyz Vs Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian attack the Hardyz early. Now everybodys attacking eachother on the floor. Christian brings in a ladder and tries to go for the belts early. Matt throws the ladder at Bubba. Then the Hardyz clothesline Edge with the ladder. Hardyz put D-Von on the ladder and Matt gives him an elbow drop. Bubba is laying on the ladder. Jeff goes up top but misses the 450 splash and smashes the ladder hard. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff, climbs up top and jumps off onto it squishing Jeff. Christian climbs the ladder in the ring and dives off onto Bubba and Matt on the outside. Edge climbs up the top rope and spears Jeff off the ladder. A holy s*** chant is going. Christan is climbing the ladder and Bubba is setting up more ladders. We got three ladders set up now. Bubba gives Christian a bubba cutter off the top of the ladder. Fans are loving this match. Edge and Christian double suplex D-von off the top of the ladder. Hardyz and Edge and Christian are fighting on top of the ladder, then all four take hard falls to the mat. Crowd is chanting for tables. All six guys are fighting on the ladder. Matt and Christian tip over their ladder and go 15 feet down to the concrete floor. Bubba gives Edge and Jeff get pushed off their ladder and land on the top rope. Dudleyz give Edge a 3-D. Theyre going going for the tables. Dudleyz set up two ladders and lay a folding table accross the top. Hardyz stop them and the crowd boos. D-Von misses a diving headbutt in the ring and goes through a table, meanwhile Bubba powerbombs Matt really hard through a table on the outside. Jeff sets up Bubba on a table outside then climbs a 20 foot ladder and does a swanton bomb onto Bubba throught the table. (crazy bastard) The crow has gone ape s****. Christian and Matt are fighting on top of the table ontop of the ladders. Edge comes up from behind and pushes Matt off through a table below. Edge and Christian grab the belts at the 22:28. We got new tag champs. A great match. I won't give it 5 stars because it's mostly a hard bump match with weapons not much wrestling if your an ECW fan give it 5. I give it 4 stars.
Match 5: Catfight Match: This is the biggest pile of s*** I have seen on a Wrestlemania card so far. Terri Runnels Beats the Kat. A waste of time. Dud
Match 6: 6 Man Tag: Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn Vs Chyna and Too Cool. Scotty and Eddie start off. Scotty catches Eddie with a monkey flip that almost throws him out of the ring. Dean and Chyna tag in. Very quick action. Sexay and Chyna give Dean a double suplex. Eddie tags in and gets a belly to back suplex from Sexay. Sexay is a dancin fool!! Eddie takes over and tags Saturn. Saturn pulls off Sexay's dewrag and puts it on while kicking Grandmaster. Scotty tags in and gets pounded by Eddie. Eddie gets preoccupied with Chyna and pays for it. Too Cool fight with Saturn and Dean. Scotty goes for the worm and the crowd erupts as he hits a double worm. Scotty gets dropped by a Saturn kick. Saturn goes up top and comes off with a flying elbow, Eddie gets the tag and goes up top but Scotty knocks him down in the corner. Hotty gets the superplex. Hotty gets the tag to Chyna and Eddie runs like a bitch in heat. Chyna drops both Dean and Saturn. Double low blow by Chyna on Dean and Saturn. Eddie attacks Chyna from behind. Chyna recovers and powerbombs Eddie then grabs him by the gonads and press slams him and scores the pin at 9:04. Nice match 2 1/2 stars.
Match 7: Triple Threat Match for IC and European Title: Kurt Angle Vs Chris Jericho Vs Chris Benoit. Whoever wins the first fall gets the IC belt, whoever wins the second fall gets the european belt. Benoit and Angle are fighting on the outside so Jericho dropkicks both guys off the apron and onto the floor. Angle sends Jericho to the steps. Jericho and Benoit duke it out in the corner. Benoit is layin those chops in. Jericho goes up top but gets sent flying down face first into the announce table. Angle catches Jericho with a arm trapped suplex but only gets a two count. Angle and Jericho have a nice series of counters and Angle slaps on the cross face chicken wing. Benoit breaks it up and tosses Angle out of the ring. Benoit goes up top and comes off with the flying heabutt and pins Jericho at the 7:29 mark to become the new IC champ. Now the fight for the Euro title starts. All three guys are fighting on the top turnbuckle Benoit gives Jericho a belly to back suplex and both guys hit hard. Angle takes advantage and tries a moonsault but Benoit misses and Angle looks like a stoner diving into an empty swimming pool. Jericho catches Angle and gives him a powerbomb, he's still holding on and muscles him up for a second bomb, he better be in shape that kinda move will give you a hernia or a bad back. Tim White goes down, and Benoit puts on the crossface. Jericho is tapping but the ref is out. Benoit misses the flying headbutt on Angle, Jericho capitolizes with a lionsault and scores the pin at 13:51 to become the European champ. What a sh**** Mania debut for Angle. A great match. I give it 3 1/2 stars.
Match 8: Kane with Paul Bearer and Rikishi Vs X-Pac with Tori and Jesse James.
Kane goes after Tori for dumping him and going with X-Pac, and Rikishi gives Roadogg a stinkface. Tori runs in the ring and almost gets a stinkface and does some bad acting too. Roadogg and X-Pac start working on Rikishi who drops them easy, he tags in Kane and he starts throwing both guys around. Paul Bearer tosses Tori in the ring and she gets a stinkface and the crowd loves it. Kane tombestones Roadogg and gets the pin in only 4:16. Too Cool come down to ringside to do the Wrestlemania shuffle, then the San Diego chicken comes down to ringside, again??? now Too Cool, Rikishi, and Chicken do a dance number. Kane goes to chokeslam the chicken but Pete Rose???? runs in and tries to nail Kane with a ballbat. Rikishi stops him and Pete gets chokeslammed for it. Rikishi gives Rose a stinkface. Short match, they made it short for the Pete Rose and Dance number bit. Short but not bad either, still entertaining. 1 star.
Match 9: Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the World Title: HHH with Stephanie Vs The Rock with Vince Mcmahon Vs The Big Show with Shane Mcmahon Vs Mick Foley with Linda Mcmahon. This match came about after the controversy surrounding the rock Rumble win. Foley is in this even after he was retired by HHH last month at No Way Out. This is a one night stand for him, if he wins the title will be vacated for a tournament. All fours guys start in the ring. Show and Rock, HHH and Foley. Foley beats down HHH in the corner then gives him the running knee. Show comes over and knocks down HHH and Foley. Show with a BIIIIGGGG slam on Foley. Show press slams Rock like nothing. Foley gets on Shows back so Show does the Mania 15 move and simply falls backwards knocking the farts outta Foley. HHH comes off the ropes but gets caught by Show. Foley interferes and knocks Show down. All three guys are pounding on Show. HHH lands a clothseline, Foley lands a clothesline, and Rock hits a clothesline that finally puts the big nasty bastard down. Foley and HHH go to fight on the outside. Shane interferes and gets popped by the Rock, Foley smacks Show with a chair and the Rock polishes off Show with a rock bottom and scores a pin at 4:48. Big Show is eliminated. Crowd goes nuts. Then they boo the Shmow out of the building. HHH tries cutting a deal with Foley then the Rock, so the Rock N Sock connection double team the ass kisser. Everybody goes outside and Rock tries to hit HHH with the ring bell but misses and busts Foley something fierce. HHH then bowls Rock into the steps. Foley is pissed, he brings out the barb wire bat and HHH whizzes himself. HHH gets a low blow and Foley drops the outside the ring somewhere. Double arm DDT by Foley on HHH. Here comes socko!!! Mandible Claw, Rock comes in and lays out HHH with the belt. Foley puts on the mandible claw, HHH hits both guys low to put them down. HHH and Foley decide to double team the Rock, fans don't like that. All three go outside and Foley goes to the steps, Foley picks up the steps and batters the Rock. Stephanie and Linda have an arguement. HHH puts the Rock on the announcer table and Foley jumps off the second rope, but he botches and falls a little short for an elbow and crashes his sternom into the corner of the table. HHH takes advantage and puts Foley in the ring, a pedigree and HHH goes for the pin. Foley kicks out!!! Whole damn building is cheering for mick. HHH gives Foley another pedigree on a chair and scores the three count at the 19:38. Fans are pissed, and JR is irate. Fans cheer Foley as he leaves, wait a minute, he's coming back to ringside and smashes HHH in the face with that barbwire bat. Crowd is dumping in their shorts. Rock tries a pin but HHH kicks out at the last second. Rock and HHH are fighting in the entrance way. They fight their way through the crowd and back to ringside. Rock gets caught under the steel steps and HHH smashes the steps with a chair (what's with those steps? Everybody has been using them). HHH gives Rock a piledriver on the steps to boot. HHH sets up for a pedigree but gets backdropped over the top rope and hits very hard on the mats outside. Rock suplexes HHH through the announcers table. Shane comes back out and attacks Vince, then he hits him in the head with the tv monitor off the table. Vince is up and he starts kicking and punching Shane. Shane knocks out Vince with a chair shot, Vince is busted open. (ah that's okay they will be back together by Christmas). Shane comes into the ring but Rock catapults HHH into Shane. Rockbottom on HHH!!!! Vince is back, and he knocks Shane out of the ring. Then he nails Rock with the chair?? Huh?? HHH tries for a pin but Rock kicks out!!! Crowd is really going nuts now. Vince hits Rock one more time with the chair and HHH crawls over for the pin at the 33:28 mark. Still world champion HHH. Rock gives Shane the rockbottom then gives one to Shane. The scabby *beep* Stephanie gets in Rocks face so she gets the rockbottom too. Then the peoples elbow to the skanks titty. Long match with lot's of drama. This match was trashed by most fans because a heel won for the first time in Mania history and it happened to be the same guy who was porking the bosses daughter. But after reviewing it. I wouldn't say it's a bad match by a long shot (Big Show getting eliminated early made him look like a bum). I give it 3 stars.
Overall Opinion. This was the first and only Mania to have all the matches contain more than two participants. No single matches, they were all triple threat, four corner, tag or battle royale, the only single match was the cat fight and im not sure that really counts. Overall I give this event 6.5 stars out of 10. It ties with 6 and 5, but im gonna make it the splitter between the other two.
Best Match: Tag Ladder Match
Worst Match: Cat Fight
Current standings:
Mania 10: 7.3
Mania 3: 7.1
Mania 6: 7.0
Mania 5: 7.0
Mania 7: 6.9
Mania 4: 6.8
Mania 16: 6.5
Mania 8: 5.9
Mania 13: 5.7
Mania 14: 4.9
Mania 2: 4.8
Mania 12: 4.6
Mania 15: 4.4
Mania 1: 4.1
Mania 11: 3.9
Mania 3: 3.8
Tomorrow we review the uber popular wrestlemania 17. Well see if it makes the grade.