I was scared to see a post like that on this movie's imdb board. Not just the OP's hating Alan, but the post I'm replying to from Scooby_Snack saying Alan's problem was being "weird". Since both types of posts/attitudes are sadly all too common on imdb (and the internet as a whole, and by extension, the real world) these days. I always wonder what the agenda is of people posting that stuff. Since life is hard enough for us Alans/weird/awkward types without having to read that stuff that potentially undermines what little confidence we may have.
Anyway, yeah. "Normal" people are overrated and boring IMO. I never trust people who seem to try too hard to appear "normal", especially online. Seems very fake and pretentious to me. Too good to be true. Makes me wonder who they're trying to impress and why. And what they're hiding. Same with "mature"/"grown-up" people. "Weird" people are the only people worth knowing. And I'm not just saying that out of bias because I'm "weird", but the best relationship I was ever in (not that there's been a ton lol) was also with a "weird" person. I felt way more myself around her than I ever felt around "normal" people - and that's a priceless feeling. Being able to let your guard down and freely be yourself without fear of judgment.
That's what relationships are all about IMO. Of course I messed that relationship up (I let outside people mess with my head, bully me, and undermine my confidence, letting them make me think I was settling for whoever wanted me and I wanted to prove them wrong, but it hasn't gone that great so far lol), but its all part of the human experience. No one's perfect. And we can all at least fantasize about those Jery Ryans of the world, eh? :-) So I think being "weird" definitely gets a bad rap. Wish people had more empathy these days.
So I haven't watched this movie yet (searched the net for a torrent, hoping for an instant gratification fix since technology has spoiled me that way these days lol Didn't find one though, so I guess I'll have to either rent the DVD via Netflix or buy from Amazon), but I want to. And I'm fully expecting to relate to Alan. Mostly because you all seem to hate him so much, since from my time spent on imdb, I've learned the characters deemed the most flawed and unlikable are the ones I tend to relate to most. Not that I'm paranoid or losing my mind over it or anything ;-) But I've definitely gotten into these type of indie "dramedies" the last few years or so, featuring flawed but basically good hearted protagonists struggling to succeed/survive the adult world (or sometimes teenage world, since I definitely often still feel like a teen mentally and emotionally as well, probably some type of undiagnosed developmental disorder).
But yeah, I think we're conditioned as a society to be like the woman in the film (sorry, forget the character's name) and prefer "alpha" acting type people like Raphael. Extroverts, badasses, hardasses, etc. Getting blinded and charmed by their confidence, charisma, and strong personalities. Even though, from my experience, most guys like that have been jerks and bullies preying on the "weak" (like Alan?), and I'd rather die than be like that. And also we put "normal"/"grown-up" people and traits on a pedestal. Even though, from my experience, most of those people have been self righteous, judgmental, empathy challenged douchebags with not much by way of personality or sense of humour. Lots of women like humour, right? :-) And most people's idea of humour is being mean, so I guess I try to make "funny without being mean" my schtick. Try to stand out from the herd a bit.
I guess my main gifts have always been both empathy and discernment, so I'm one of the rare few to see through the BS of those confidence, charismatic, "normal"/"alpha" types. Though the stuff I'm good at sadly doesn't get much respect usually in the eyes of the "real world".
And its all so confusing, all the contradictory advice. Be a man, grow-up, man up, enjoy life, don't overthink things, be weird, be yourself, don't be weird, etc. Women like bad boys who like to party, women like mature guys, show the girl you want her, don't be needy, desperate, and clingy, etc. If Alan had been more of an "alpha" type guy like I'm assuming Rapahel is, confident and charismatic, people would probably be applauding his persistence to "win" the girl. And people would applaud the strong will of his character to stay true to himself regardless of what others thought of him. Btw: I'm sure the woman has her own set of flaws as well...I'm sure they all do. So it always bothers me when people talk about a guy "deserving" the girl, or another guy not deserving the girl, etc, like she's some "prize" to be won. Now who's putting women up on pedestals? Everyone's flawed, no one deserves anyone, and life's all about just finding a connection with a kindred spirit (who's ideally physically attractive to you lol) in this messed up world IMO.
But yeah, it seems like its ok for women to be "weird" and be themselves. Maybe I'm just "socially retarded" or something, but its all so confusing. Makes my head want to explode, where you just want to scream "Enough!" It can really mess up your head and your confidence and cripple you to the point of taking no forward action in your life at all. Why should you, when someone's always going to tell you you're wrong or reject you or judge you no matter what you do? So I've basically thrown up my hands and given up living my life to please other people. Its such a game, all these competitions and hoops we jump through for others. So I'm done with all that these days. F_ck that crap. I just do my own thing (literally lol) and whatever happens happens. My life may work out, it may not, but at least I'll have stayed true to myself. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm the true Bad Boy ;-)
So I'm definitely like Alan in that my problem has never been physical appearance (though people did try to bully me about that when I was younger, but mostly just because I was "different" and when you're different, everything about you gets attacked), but more so being "weird". And when I say "problem", I mean its more a problem to other people than it is to me. I'm perfectly fine and comfortable in my skin and with my "weirdness", thank you very much :-) Just wish others felt the same about me. So the judgmental types like the woman and Raphael can f_ck the hell off with each other for all I care - they deserve each other :-)
Though I'll reserve judgment about any characters until actually watching the movie, of course. Just wanted to reply here now before I either forget or get too busy or feel too apathetic about it to invest my time into replying. And I was just curious to see if anyone else who's either seen the movie or wants to see it feels the same way. Since I try to stick up for the Alans of the world, the flawed/weird/awkward but good hearted guys (and girls) of the world. But sometimes it seems I'm the "lone voice in the wilderness" when it comes to that issue. Truly "the last man" to care, as it were :-/ Which is troubling. Maybe I'll have to write my own movie about it. Sorry for the novel...its what I do/what I'm good at :-)
"That's the theme of my movies: The victory of the battered idealist in a cynical world."
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