it doesn't get better than this

last night at around 2.30 in the morning i flipped thru channels and found myself totally confused as rosario dawson went thru her monologue, her poem, everything I ever wanted to think or say to someone and it had to hit me while I was dozing off.

Thank God I found the poem on this site.

my gift is not poetry - however, when I heard what she said I could not help but cry b/c maybe I will never know and understand what I feel with such clarity and I wanted to write that so badly.

i wonder what it would do to most of the people in the world if they read that to someone they loved - how do most people think and feel

this may not sound so glamourous - but, I know this.....when I die my cause of death will be drowning myself in whatever pool my love is laying in

and for once, it won't be a comedy, a joke, a game, a front, a desperate wall put up at all costs to not get steamrolled by the closest people to you

catharsis is bliss.

what sounds better - is all spirituality love or all love spirituality?
"....when you're weary I want to give you steeples and cathedral thoughts"

yeah, and this is bad ass bold - "...I want your scar on my lips" Whoever can handle that knows how to live and take it all in. they think they have the deeper scar? I do not know. maybe. can love be that brave to take scars deeper than their own - I do not know, no one has done that for me. I got so pissed off once that my boyfriend (ignorant jerk #2 or 3, there has definitely been one or two before, I do not want to delve to deeply right now, forgive me) was acting like his drunk "I am the man of the hour" self and ignoring me....so I was sitting in the passenger seat of my suv, while he was saying his meaningless, endless good-byes and I decided to put out my cigarette on my left forearm. but, I knew how he was and it was my fault for doing that - trying anything to get attention b/c I myself love attention and I was being selfish. Hi, oh, guess what I was up to while you were gone you arrogant prick. I had to do the physical for him to feel the mental. And when you are in or someone is in your head watch out. We are powerful - all of us in our own way to really upset someone. With maturity, I'll be 29 this year 2004, I know not to do it even if it is tempting me to death. Why would we ever want to hurt people? Big questions - the questions that many, sometimes even me, push aside and say that I guess we'll never know until that special time - whether it be after death or whatever you believe. Sometimes I think it's just laziness and who can stand things that will go around and around and become absolutely tediousness. The best right answer; there is not one sometimes.

I should have called my subject for this text - "sometimes," can I say it anymore?!

peace, kylee