Sing along with me, everybody:
“God and Sarah, sitting on a raft,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G”
So God has a girlfriend now? (Or almost did anyway.)
Hey, guys, did you see that scene when God was by the beach, and there was a shark, and in an attempt to impress Sarah and the audience, God walked on the water and JUMPED THE SHARK???
What? He didn't? He might just as well have! Because that's what happened to the show.
To me a shark-jumping moment is when some detail so absurd and ridiculous is added just for the sake of making the story supposedly more interesting, but it backfires and destroys all of the show's credibility. Basically it's the straw that breaks the camel's back.
What? You don't believe me? So let's just imagine the possibilities, all the absurd stories we'd have with God in a “relationship.” I've even thought of an entirely new spinoff sitcom just based on God's new marital status. Each idea could be an episode. The title could be "NOTHING'S SACRED ANYMORE."
- God learns Sarah is an atheist. In the beginning he has a problem with that, then learns he has to accept his girlfriend the way she is.
- Better yet, she's a Buddhist and they get married in a Buddhist ceremony. (As you may know, Buddhists don't believe in God.)
- They have demi-god children. This time God decides to be a better parent because he was such an absent father with Jesus.
- God meets Sarah's parents and fails to impress them. He has to deal with Sarah's overbearing mother (Betty White) and pretend she's right all the time.
- He has problems with Sarah's niece who is a Devil's worshipper (played by Kelly Orbourne), which would be a good excuse to introduce the Devil and Smeck in the story.
- The Devil marries Sarah's mother and now at Thanksgiving God has to call the Devil “Dad.” The Devil loves it.
- God is tempted by another woman and thinks about having a mistress...
- God Jr. has problems at school and decides to use his superpowers against a bully and learns a valuable lesson.
- God's daughter Mary becomes a Wiccan.
- Jesus comes to visit God and has to bunk on the living room couch. He and God have unresolved issues to work. Jesus ends connecting with Sarah's niece.
- Jesus goes on a date with Sarah's niece.
Oh, the joy would go on and on. I predict at least 6 seasons and a movie.
Random details I HATED (additional ones):
- The new intro song. What the hell was that?
- God taking advice from Mr. Ed???? WTF!!!
- Nixon in Heaven? (Oh, well, frankly he was never one of the most harmful ones.)
Racism moment of the day:
Megan is all red after spending the day at the beach without having applied sunscreen lotion.
“Ou! You're both to blame for this. It's a sick pale Northern European skin you stuck me with. Couldn't someone in this pathetic family have gotten off their lazy butts, crawled out of their cave and slept with an Italian?”
Ouch! First of all, we all have unspoken racial mixes in our family tree, so I doubt she would be such a pure Aryan after all. Second, my father has exactly the same skin condition (me too, but it's not as bad on account of my mother) precisely because he has “Italian blood” (if there is such a thing).
Innocence moment of the day:
Andy: “You can have some of my skin.”
Owwwww!
Wisdom moment of the day
Andy: God likes girls? Yuck!
Bob: Tell me about it.
Indeed!
Andy: Can't we pray to another God?
YES! Because this one is not the ONE!
Smeck moments of the day
(That little guy deserves a show of his own. That part is serious.)
- I like the way Smeck shakes when he laughs.
- Smeck: “Don't be alarmed. I'm obviously an angel.”
- Smeck landing between a large lady's breasts:
“Well, hello there!”
“Ewww! Get away from me!”
“And the chase begins.”
Random details I liked:
The Devil visiting Heaven is something strange but interesting. Indeed he felt at home.
“Excuse me! Excuse me! Archangel coming through here!”
Bob getting naked:
“Donna will just have to understand.”
Grade
If it weren't for the shark-jumping moment that ruined the series as a whole and will leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths when it leaves, this episode would get a reasonably high grade. There were some good moments, I admit, mostly because of Smeck. But the show is now broken and we can't fix it.
I give it 2 large breasts for Smeck to land on.
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