Does anyone know how Jeff is doing?
Is he still alive?
shareJeff found a rifle one day, and decided to try it out in his backyard. To his amazement, his accuracy was spot on - easily hitting 49 of 50 targets he would set up.
It was an easy decision to figure out that he would begin producing a wild west show, displaying his prodigious talents to fairground crowds around the country. He constructed a crude "Wild Bill Hickok" costume from felt and cottage cheese cartons, and he stole a neighbor's Great Dane to saddle up and ride as his steed.
Of course the dog was too small to carry Jeff, but they performed together anyway, with daily matinees in the parking lot of the nearby 7 Eleven convenience store. One day, a world-famous mercenary spotted Jeff, and hired him on the spot.
Most of his battles are classified secrets, but let us just say that Jeff killed many a rebel, and cleared quite a bit of cash on his worldwide adventures fighting wars.
One day Jeff was strapped in tightly to his seat in a military transport, flak helmet tightly strapped on, ammo belts snugged around his chest, and a heavy machine gun resting across his legs. There was a lurch, and Jeff noticed that he wasn't strapped into a seat, but rather duct taped onto a large pallet of cargo. The cargo appeared to be either cases of Beefaroni, or Lithuanian Porn DVD's, but either way, Jeff was fascinated by their appearance.
Another lurch started the pallet sliding toward the rear of the aircraft, and Jeff let out a loud Ric Flair "Whoooooooo" as he shot out into the cold blue sky and plummeted earthward.
A few thousand feet above the ground, a Parachute deployed with a slam, and Jeff was torn loose from his taped bonds. He held onto the Beefaroni/Porn as he lay on top of it as it descended rapidly into the 7 eleven parking lot near his boyhood home.
Jumping down from the mound of slightly crushed pasta and/or DVDs, a Great Dane ran past him to lick up tomato sauce from the hot concrete. Jeff walked home and got into his favorite chair just in time to flip on that week's WWE Smackdown.
Other than that, he hasn't been up to much.