I felt sorry for Mr. Preston - Wives and Daughters (2002) Discussion

[–] randommovies2002 13 years ago

And in the end he gave back the letters.

Not without first compromising Molly by making it seem to Mr. Sheepshanks that they were having a secret tryst in the copse. That was a villainous thing to do. He had no justification to do such a terrible thing to Molly; she was merely sticking up for her step-sister. It was not the act of a gentleman. He did it deliberately.

It was also a terrible thing for him to have gotten engaged to Cynthia when she was so young, and without asking her mother's permission. Although Cynthia did ask him to keep it a secret between them, he never should have agreed to keeping it secret from her mother. This is not the act of a gentleman. He was taking advantage of a girl who wasn't being looked after properly (her mother being absent so much). This would be a seriously villainous deed in the Victorian period.

Yes, Cynthia was only 15, but I still can't help but empathize how much Mr. Preston never forgot about her. Did anyone else feel that way?

Isn't that creepy? Cynthia is no saint (far from it) but she did try to get out of the engagement for years; she tried everything to get free of him and yet he continually (to put it in modern terms) stalked her.

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[–] ArenaSkies 13 years ago

Oh, I know some of the things he did were not the act of a gentleman at all. I'm not saying he's a saint, if that's what you're thinking. And I don't remember Cynthia trying to break it off for years, I remember their first encounter in the series was when she went to live with her mother and then Mr. Preston meets her after so long, but maybe I've forgotten something.

Certainty of death, small chance of success... What are we waiting for? - Gimli

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[–] randommovies2002 13 years ago

Cynthia tells Molly that she tried for years to break off her engagement to Pretson but he would never accept it and continually pressured her to keep the engagement and marry him.

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[–] Sofistali 13 years ago

Yes, that's what Cynthia tells Molly. But Preston is obviously shocked when Molly says that Cynthia hates him, so I suspect she wasn't as firm with him to his face, or in letters, as she claimed to be. She was a natural coquette, and liked to have men in love with her. I can fully imagine her not really being able to make herself unlovable to him. Really, I think she basically got Molly to do all her dirty work for her, and I blame Cynthia more than Preston for Molly's situation.

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[–] Ilario1 13 years ago

Sofistali I was just about to post the same thing. Cynthia had Molly return the money and ask for the letters. Everytime molly was seen with Preston it was on Cynthia's behalf. I'm glad her Father told Cynthia about this when the truth came out.

"What happens to a dream deferred?"

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[–] Sofistali 12 years ago

And I really lost sympathy for Cynthia when she admitted that he loved her (despite knowing what a shallow little puddle she was) and said that if she married him, he could probably "make her love him again." Well, gee, that's a fate worse than death, eh? To marry a man who loves you and is capable of making you love him back, oh no, I'd rather jump of a cliff. The minute she said that, I was ready to wrap her up in a blanket and hand her over to him right there in her nightgown. "Here ya go, Preston. Nail her till she likes it."

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[–] rebkad 12 years ago

Do you think Cynthia really know what love means when she makes that statement? Preston has a huge desire for her - but I am not convinced his actions are kind and loving per se. Cynthia is a pretty mixed up kid, mind you - for her, love and happiness are separate beings. Too much love and she isn't happy. She finds the prospect of intense emotions scary and wants to run away.She can be happy with Mr Henderson because he doesn't 'love' her in a worshipful, moonstruck way like Rodger or in a stubborn, pushier way like Mr P - he only loves her as much as she does him, so she can relax a bit more. We are supposed to feel her broken relationship with her mother and father has made her like this - she doesn't actually have a lot of experience of family life, and finds it a bit daunting. She wants - and I feel she needs - to have control as well, while Mr Preston also wants control. It is true we are supposed to take C's story as a warning, as well as see Preston as a bit of a bully - it is a warning of how women can be hemmed in if they don't stick to some of the rules of the society. Cynthia wants the power of an engagement without the responsibility, but she cannot be protected from all of the scariness of the responsibility if she doesn't acknowledge her status openly. If you don't want the realities of engagement, don't get engaged. But that doesn't make it right for Preston to force himself on someone when they have said no - its like social rape, rape without the physical horrors but with similar consequences on a woman in those days.

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[–] Sofistali 12 years ago

Cynthia wants, Cynthia wants, Cynthia wants. Cynthia doesn't know what she wants. She was an addled twit, and I would still hand her over to Preston. I guess because his wants seem more valid than hers. I mean, she's just a pretty butterfly. He's a full-fledged human, capable of depths of emotion 100 levels deeper than anything she'll ever know. Frankly, he should have her as a pet because she's not really worthy of being a wife.

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[–] rebkad 12 years ago

I mean, she's just a pretty butterfly.

But even a butterfly doesn't deserve to be crushed, and that is what would happen with Cynthia as Preston's pet of his deep emotion, as you put it. He would force her into a situation she doesn't understand or respond properly to, making them both thoroughly miserable. In this way, WD is quite modern in its discussion of breaking up amicably (or not so amicably)

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[–] Sofistali 12 years ago

He wasn't going to crush her. She even admitted he could probably make her love him. What a terrible fate, eh.

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[–] rebkad 11 years ago

Nope, you can't 'make' someone love you. I think what Cynthia means is the kind of 'love' that the abused partner can claim they feel in an abusive relationship - the reason why it can take so long to leave someone like that in the first place.

I agree with Molly in this instance - I would hate worse.

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[–] Ilario1 13 years ago

Well Cynthia used Molly too. She was just as much at fault as Preston was in compromising Molly's reputation. Mr. Gibson told her about too.

I didn't think Preston was all that bad myself especially comparing him to other villians in period pieces.

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[–] randommovies2002 13 years ago

I agree that Cynthia put Molly into a compromising position, but as we were not really discussing that I didn't mention it. But the fact that Cynthia also allowed Molly to place herself in a compromising position doesn't lessen Preston's culpability.

Cynthia merely allowed Molly to act on her behlaf by meeting Preston in the copse, whereas Preston (when he saw Mr. Sheepshanks coming) very deliberately made it seem as though he and Molly were having a tryst. Additionally, Preston himself knows how his actions will look to Lord Cumnor, which is why he finally relents and returns Cynthia's letters. He does not want Lord Cumnor to hear about his ungentlemanly behavior and threats toward Cynthia because he knows that Lord C. would probably dismiss him for it.

I didn't think Preston was all that bad myself especially comparing him to other villians in period pieces.

I didn't think that was the point of this discussion.

Preston not being as bad as other villains doesn't lessen the effect of his villainous actions on characters in this story. Were it not for Lady Harriet, Molly's entire life would have been ruined by Preston's petty actions. No, he didn't elope with anyone to London like Wickham in Pride and Prejudice, but Preston's actions produce the same result on Molly's reputation as if he had (but for Lady Harriet saving her).

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[–] Ilario1 13 years ago

I didn't think Preston was all that bad myself especially comparing him to other villians in period pieces.

I didn't think that was the point of this discussion.

Point or no point. He wasn't that bad.

And I still feel that Cynthia was the one who actually put Molly in the position to have her reputation sullied by Preston in the first place. She was just as bad, imo.

Wildhorse- I totally agree with you.

"What happens to a dream deferred?"

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[–] whoanelly (1558) 3 years ago

But Preston still went out of his way to make Sheepshanks believe that he and Molly were meeting for a tryst. He was angry at Cynthia and took it out on Molly because she was there, fully knowing he was ruining her reputation.

That was a shitty thing to do; Molly didn’t deserve it and Preston didn’t need to do it. What kind of person does that to someone? A woman’s reputation was pretty much all she had. He was a piece of shit to do that to her.

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[–] AArminius 13 years ago

You are not alone in your thoughts regarding that matter. I feel the same way. I wished he would have found somebody suitable as well. Yes, he was obsessed with the girl - but what is infatuation if not obsession to a certain degree?

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[–] AArminius 13 years ago

You are not alone in your thoughts regarding that matter. I feel the same way. I wished he would have found somebody suitable as well. Yes, he was obsessed with the girl - but what is infatuation if not obsession to a certain degree?

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[–] rebkad 13 years ago

I think if Mrs Gaskell had lived to finish the novel, she would have finished Preston off a bit better - I reckon he'd have married an heiress, possibly a bit older than him, on the 'rebound' - or maybe some local girl? As it is, its left hanging. It does punish him for his hounding of Cynthia - even if you realize Cynthia asked for it - that he is left as a lose end.

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[–] wildhorse0412 13 years ago

I felt sorry for Mr. Preston too.

Yes, what he did with Molly was ungentlemanly, but the scene in the woods with Cynthia made it very obvious to me that this was a desperate man in love. Very sad indeed. :(

As far as his relationship with Cynthia when she was 15- I don't see it as creepy at all! Secret engagements were very common back then, they often (even among women so young) left the parents out of it and they were only considered terribly scandalous if the match was undesirable for either party- which it wasn't in this situation. If anything, Mr. Preston was much higher than Cynthia and it was quite honorable for him to wait and KEEP it secret at her request.

Perhaps if he was more proper, his desperation would have been better contained and he would have been able to realize that he would catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Roger was a jilted lover who wasn't that much in love and so was able to keep his decorum... not the case here.

I think his behavior was the direct result of Cynthia's cowardice. Rather than try to end the engagement logically (or, even more logically, KEEP her end of the 'deal', as she so clearly said she knew that he could make her love him) she was more inclined to play games with peoples' affections.

For all the bad talk about him that Lady Harriet and Cynthia did- I couldn't really see how 'bad' he was? Yes, he did not observe the manners of social status much, and I say good for him! At the very least he was honest and blunt, which I personally always appreciate far more than mere propriety. I rather liked the scene where he plainly stated the truth when Lady Harriet questioned him, she seemed quite taken aback!

Perhaps Mr. Preston was a much more 'evil' character in the book, but that is just not at all what I got from this series. I felt that he was just another man walked all over by Cynthia, the spoiled child.

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
-Airplane!

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[–] rebkad 13 years ago

Mr Preston has a shadowy but decidedly dodgy reputation - there was that other girl who broke off her engagement to him, remember, when her father made enquiries. Mrs Gibson is decidedly frosty to him as well, refusing to wear his gardenias etc. It may be as he says, he dumped everyone for Cynthia - but it doesn't quite add up, imo. Perhaps he got obsessed with Cynthia and decided he would have her at any cost, but he still seems a bit freaky and possessive, manipulating everything to basically blackmail someone into marriage is NOT ok, even if the person 'asked' for it by being so changeable. After all, as has been pointed out, she was 15, barely legal and of an age when it was not unreasonable to have second thoughts.

Its been the lack of suitably disciplined parenting that makes Cynthia so oblivious to the feelings of others.

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[–] ducdebrabant 11 years ago

Cynthia pitched the gardenias into the fire before Mrs. Gibson even had a chance to wear them. But of course nobody was going to tell HIM that.

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[–] dblackman70 13 years ago

I felt sorry for him too. I don't know if it was Iain Glen's performance, but, I never felt he was as bad as made out. He was abit obsessive, but, he came across as being a man who had kept his side of the promise and remained constant and felt that her promise should have been honoured. Even Molly felt he loved Cynthia when he returned her letters and cleared Molly's name. After all, he hardly pressured her until now as it seemed their hadn't seen each other in years. If Cynthia had truly wanted nothing to do with him then she shouldn't have danced with him and I'm sure she could have asked for help from Dr Gibson or the Brownings or someone. And she did write him those love letters so she must have been interested. I know Cynthia was only 15, but, she knew exactly what she was doing accepting his money for the party as she was very like her mother. And it's not like he forced her to elope then as he waited 5 years for her. And she did exactly same thing to Roger by accepting his proposal, writing to him, but, making him keep it secret. I've seen some posters that see Mr Preston as the victim.

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[–] unionjgirl 12 years ago

He's certainly not the absolute villain you so often see in these period dramas, but I didn't feel sorry for him, no. It's hard for me to feel sorry for a man who extracts an engagement from a girl of 15, entirely without her family's protection. In a society where a woman's only power is in her choice of marriage, Preston consciously used every advantage he had to leverage a promise from her.

To me, Preston was unscrupulous. Not evil, just unscrupulous. He didn't particularly care if he ruined Molly's reputation, and his loyalty to Cynthia turned very quickly into a relishing of causing her distress. However well he may have kept his promise to her, I wouldn't characterize his feelings for her as love. After all, he wanted to extract the keeping of a promise of marriage even after learning that Cynthia didn't feel for him. It was almost as though he had made a brilliant investment in a company before the stock had even gone public, and was upset to find his cunning hadn't yielded him the reward he expected.

I wouldn't place him highly on a list of baddies, but I do think of him as an example of how dangerous it was for a young lady. So much depended on men being entirely honorable. And Preston fell far below that.

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[–] 12 years ago

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[–] whoanelly (1558) 3 years ago

Well said. Great post!

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[–] ducdebrabant 11 years ago

Yes, it's a mixed picture. He behaved badly, but in the end he was too good to make good on his threat. He really did love her. I also sympathize with him over the way everybody keeps reminding him of his "place." He's good at his job, and at least he HAS one. He's got a huge chip on his shoulder, but other people seem to have put it there. As as he points out, he waited for Cynthia, and gave up the chance for marriage to women of property in order to marry a girl with no money. He's very handsome, after all, and I have no trouble believing he had opportunities.

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[–] Bronte_Sista 9 years ago

I think the implication was that Preston had his little trysts in spite of the long, secret engagement with Claire. He admits as much when he says that he has had many "opportunities" and "prospects." We also know about his initial infatuation with the mother before setting his sights on the daughter.

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