I didn't see the movie, but in the book they made it pretty clear that he found her when his son called him. Bobby had a phone number recorder that picked up phone numbers. Even though the phone number was scrambled, his friends at the police station could unscramble them. THAT was how he found her. Robert didn't do it intentionally. In the book he did miss his dad but he also understood what would happen if he gave away the info, including ruining his life again, all his new friends and life would be gone again. Even though he understood what his father did to his mother, you can understand how he would miss the connection with his dad, a boy that age. A boy any age. Bobby was never REALLY mean to his son and his son worshipped the thought of his dad the cop. In the book the phone call was also prompted by an event that happened to Robert after school that kind of left him with questions for his dad. Had he known what would be the result, I have to believe that the boy would never have made the call.
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