So are men really 'afraid' of women as he says?
I mean, there were a lot of things in the movie that were true, especially about girls. So as a man, I suppose he said true things about guys.
What do you have to say?
Yes, we're afraid. Not afraid as in they give us nightmares, or anything like that. But a lot of anxiety builds up when we try to approach them, or when they walk up to us and we're not prepared.
For the longest time, I hated it when women said "just be yourself" when giving advice on how to talk to them. I always thought it was just a cop-out. After all, how many times has that worked in real life?
But when you think about it, can men really be themselves when talking to a beautiful woman they've just met? We can definitely try, but what we think is being ourselves isn't really. When we're around friends, family, people who we're comfortable with, that's when we're ourselves.
This is exactly why I think that first impressions are so overrated. Men and women never give each other a chance to warm up to them. Some people try too hard to impress women when talking to them. And even if it works and she becomes attracted to him, he'll start to relax around her and won't be the same. And too many people are completely bought into the whole Romeo & Juliet, "love at first sight" complex, that they don't realize that this is the worst thing you can do in real life!
This was a real eye-opener for me. I guess I've been so angry at women because I didn't understand how impaired we are at first, and how absolutely frustrating it is. I suppose, like Matt, I can also begin to make peace with the opposite sex.
"Fate takes all the fun out of free will."
Very good answer and I agree with you. Another question if I may ask: do guys that look confident have the same problem or do they also have that kind of fear? I suppose there are truly guys with self confidence but what about most of them?
shareI guess it's the same with anything that makes someone's heart race, whether it's talking to a woman, or talking in front of a crowd of people, or even something like skydiving. You feel like that simply because you still have a pulse.
I read somewhere that the definition of courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act in spite of it. It's what separates humans from animals. We are gifted with the ability to override the instinct to back down from what we perceive as danger.
I guess some guys just have more practice. They've done it enough times where it's committed to muscle memory (like learning to ride a bike). Some artist (I don't remember who) said that we're all born with a thousand bad drawings. Perhaps men are born with a thousand bad dates, or bad experiences with women. It's just a matter of getting them out of our system.
"Fate takes all the fun out free will."
You two should date.