Really old thread, but as I just watched the movie, I'm looking now.
This may be common where you are, but considered extremely bad etiquette to invite people to a ceremony and not to the reception. There are exceptions, of course, such as inviting the entire congregation to the ceremony and keeping the reception private. But to simply not invite a wedding guest to the reception to save costs is rude. It implies you invited them for the sole purpose of squeezing a gift out of them, as they aren't important enough to be at the reception.
You can easily save costs by skipping non-essential things like centerpieces, chair covers, going for a less expensive chair, cutting out a few hors d'oeuvres, hosting beer and wine only rather than open bar, having your wedding on a Friday instead of Saturday, a less expensive dress, Etc.
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Sibyla01
10 years ago
Nonsense! One may have plenty of friends from school, but wishes to keep the reception small. Still one thinks his old companions would like to know he/she´s getting married, so sends them invitation to the ceremony. It´s quite common. I personaly don´t wish to spend long hours on a boring reception of people I like only mildly - still I can attend the ceremony and wish them well.
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Beannie42
10 years ago
Etiquette is simply a set of social rules that you can choose to follow or not.
You don't have to invite everyone you ever met. Send them an announcement after the fact. Unless you are having your entire congregation to your ceremony, you should extend the invitation to the reception to all guests. Not inviting them to both indicates that those guests aren't that important to the bride and groom.
There are ways to do what the OP is asking without it being against etiquette. But to do it just to save costs? What about the costs incurred by the guest?
Why not adjust the budget? Is it more important to have elaborate centerpieces, a $3k dress, a super fancy cake, slipcovers for the chairs, etc. over inviting more people to the reception?
Again, you can have your opinion, but that doesn't change the fact that it's against proper social etiquette.
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Sibyla01
10 years ago
It may not be a question of a budget. I simply like small, intimate weddings with really good friends and soulmates, and hate those big noisy parties with +100 relative strangers, who just disrupt a very special, personal day.
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Beannie42
10 years ago
I am with you on that. My wedding had sixty guests. I would have gone smaller, but those were the must haves.
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