100 Things I learned from 'Save the Last Dance'
1. Wearing a sweater from The GAP is inappropriate when you're out with the girls unless you wrap it around your head like a pirate bandana and accessorize with fake gold earings...aka, the Aunt Jemima look.
2. A short, ugly, chap-lipped dark brother holding hands with a medium height, pasty-pale, plain jane midwestern white girl will get a nasty look from old ladies on the Chicago L trains....
3. A fake ID is only as good as the Snookie you got it from.
4. Georgetown is the new Harvard.
5. Friday night pizza and a movie is a good plan B. Because Friday night at STEPS is clearly plan A.
6. White girls from the suburbs don't have access to MTV, radio or the Internet and have thus never heard of hip hop music.
7. In order to matriculate at Juliard, your $85/hour private lessons on the Balanchine Method are useless and play second fiddle to immitating the back-up dancer on Ja Rule's latest remix video.
8. If you're a divorced, middle-aged white guy trying to 'make it' in a bar band, you must live in Chicago's south side projects for the street cred.
9. George Bush doesn't care about black people.
10. When a thug tells you it's an A and B conversation, make sure you C your way out of it!
11. When your estranged daughter moves in with you after her mother dies, you might want to actually cook her a first meal rather than offering her all 10 varieties of Hungry Man TV Dinners.
12. In order for two people to practice dance, they must break-in to an abandoned club/factory rather than using their own school gym.
13. When you get your ass kicked by the reigning teen queen and she says it ain't over b*tch...you might want a better response than, "I don't even know why it started, b*tch."
14. The next time you do a drive by, be more careful on the getaway as a low caliber hand gun can blow up your '89 Oldsmobile from 50 yards away with a single-shot.
15. A 4.0 GPA makes you a complete idiot. Now a 10.0 GPA...
16. Walking straight and sitting with proper posture = uncool.
Walking like a chicken with its head cut off and slouching on your chair = supercool.
17. Pink may be the new black but a red puffy ski jacket and mismatching hats and gloves NEVER go out of style.
18. Lunch table breakdowns and politics are the same in the south-side as they are in mean girls.
19. Black people are cool and hip. White people are lame and boring. Asian people don't exist.
20. If you're thinking about my baby it don't matter if you're black or white.
keep it going...