I love and hate the ending. I'm glad its not a hollywood ending, and true to life in some ways. Kind reminds me of before sunset or sunrise - one of those movies. Its kinda sad at the same time. I thought the actress that played Her was incredibly beautiful. I'm in my early 20s and shes probably twice my age, but what a woman!
shareI'm almost in my 20's but this film was absolutely great, and the actress was amazingly good and very attractive. It was far from porn or anything like that but i got me really excited. Her intelligence and female power and being sexy in contrary with him being a bit macho but also being a kid that needs to be huggged. a gave it a 9, simple stories about humans that is what filming is about.
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I am thinking exactly the same, they fit perfect, I want to grab them, they feel the same and are aifraid to speak it out
Faboulous movie - and close to reality
how many broken relationships because of unspoken feelings?
This little movie was really a gem. I found myself yelling at the screen at the ending....."noooo they can't end it like that"
Aside from that the story was touching, and one could relate to the two lovers and their insecurities....which unfortunately led to the premature ending of their beautiful love affair....
I rated this one a '9'
yes they can end it like that....you didn't get the point of the movie at all :P
the director wants to portray the nature of sexual relationships occurring very often in our modern world and the loneliness that the ppl nowadays feel..and despite this loneliness they are afraid to devote themselves to another person..that's what they clearly said as well....we will end hating each other and we will have only these moments as good moments later on...they were afraid to love each other...just that...they were afraid to listen to their feelings,to fall in love,to let their feelings guide them and devote one to the other....most common reason for this is a traumatic/unpleasant experience from a relationship....that's what my experience (not personal) tells me...and that's what they say as well by telling that they're going to eventually hate each other...there is no evidence from their present relationship that this would happen...but they seem to have an experience of relationships and can see from their previous experiences that this can happen and they're not risking it....they're not risking it at all! they're afraid....very afraid...afraid to open themselves one to another (this happens at some point and only for non-trivial things at the last 10mins of the movie inside the bath-tub) and prefer to live with the anonymity...that's all there is to the movie....nowadays ppl that are afraid to devote themselves in a relationship and prefer only sex-related encounters....a quite common thing in our nowadays culture
Chasegr: Excellent commentary.
shareYes, the ending is not only possible, it is the only one that could convey the meaning of the movie. They are in love, true love. She loves him, and said so. He loves her, and said so. They want to be together and they have more than just sex, they said so.
The only problem is fear. He is insecure, he is afraid of declaring his love, having his faults exposed, being ridiculed or rejected, he said all this. So he misreads her, in her face, he sees his own fears and says "It will not work". Out of her fears, the will to fight for his love disappears and she takes the easy way out.
All that is missing is the courage to be hurt again. Anonymity and restriction to sex are not chosen out of preference, they are chosen out of fear and weakness.
I too loved this film and was in love with the ending. It was indeed sad and I do admit I cried. The reason why I loved it was because, at the time I saw it, I was not used to having a maybe more "realistic" ending in a movie where the two people in love did not live "happily ever after...". It also made me think about how many opportunities for true love have been missed and passed up in this world. And then that made me sadder and then I cried a little more...
shareI loved the movie, but hated the reality of the ending. I too, think that there are more opportunities for love than we consider. Too often we are afaid to make the first move, or later to reveal how we are really feeling. We are so self-protective that we cheat ourselves out of chances of happiness due to our desire to avoid pain. We end up numb, alone, but safe. We don't want to admit it to ourselves, we'd rather think of ourselves as prudent. This film holds up a mirror and makes us look.
I don't think many of us like what we see.
Not for nothing....but I think the fact that they were French is why they decided not to "fall"....It's kind of a cliche, but having lived there, I have to agree that the French, at least of a certain generation, can be a) pessimistic and b) rigid.
They may not have decided to take that leap of faith because they thought it was doomed to fail and violated the terms of the original relationship they had established.
Also, there is a certain risk in looking foolish when you finally admit to someone that you love them...they might not love you back, and you would look foolish. And the French HATE to look follish.
It is very American to run down the train tracks chasing after the girl of your dreams. It is very French for that girl to light up a cigarette and sigh.
Just my two cent(imes)
maybe i'm wrong, but i thought it was all about miscommunication, and nothing to do with not wanting to fall in love or anything.
<SPOILERS>
through the narrations, it seemed like they both just made an impulsive decision. He said he loved her, but because of her "look", he thought she wanted to stop, so he said they should stop. And she said that she wanted to hold on to him as long as possible, but the devastation of what he said made her agree with him...
anyhow, though the ending was very unfortunate, i liked it. I thought it was well done, and not overly dramatic, tear-jerking. Just perfect
I've got to agree with this interpretation. This is exactly how I read the finale.
! Spoilers !
The two things that I thought were brilliant about the film were its refusal to disclose their shared fantasy and its absolutely un-Hollywood ending. I had the impression of two genuinely good people living lives which could have had completely different (and happier) outcomes but for shyness, hesitation, misunderstanding, lack of optimism or even exuberance, at one crucial moment. It's a slight moral, but one well worth producing.
I would have hated the film if it had been given a 'Pretty Woman'-style reconcilliation at the end. Even 'Her' sighting of 'Him' was nicely played to underline her affection for 'Him' and the finality of their decision.
Both lead players showed vulnerability and enough human emotion to make this a 'wee gem' in my book.
I don't believe it was about miscommunication at all. They had both decided that they were in love with each other and had arrived at the cafe ready to move forward. When he "sees from her face" that she doesn't want to do it anymore and decides that he has to be the strong one and end it FOR her, that is really him just wussing out and wanting to pin it on some "signal" from her so that he feels justified, as if he isn't really scared. Even she said that she had come prepared to fight a battle if he said no. When he did, she acquiesced. THAT has nothing to do with a miscommunication. THAT is him, looking for an excuse to say no and her being relieved that he said no so that she would be saved the pain of a relationship. They are both weak and, like a previous poster commented, unwilling to pay the "price" of a relationship.
There seems to be a tendency on this message board to say "they were perfect for each other and would have been great!" Who really knows that? Their existence together was so restricted and controlled (the hospital visit was the only thing not introduced by either of them) that, once translated into the chaotic real world, it may have fallen apart. The reason we have the feeling that they would have been perfect is the fact that they WERE perfect in the setting in which we saw them; the controlled environment they set up for themselves. If they ended it there, they would always have those perfect memories (the ones that we all have and which make us believe that they were perfect for each other) and therefore would always hold a love for each other. Maybe they did the right thing...
I don't personally think they did the right thing b/c I'd rather leap and enjoy both the victories AND defeats than to play it safe but the movie is definitely astute commentary on the shallowness and cowardliness of our times.
I do think it had to do with skewed perceptions. HE thinks he sees doubt in her face and SHE gives up the moment he voices doubts.
They give up for love for the other - that is the warped and tragic side of this. Maybe they would have been happy, maybe not. So what, they say at various occasions 'on le fait pendent qu'on veut' (we'll do it as long as we want (think it's right)) - which would also go for a 'normal' relationship. But then - people are cowardly today. They won't enter relationships because these are bound to break up sometime. So what. Everything's over sometime. No reason to stay alone all your life.
i thought the film very touching and very European. Just watching 'My Summer of Love' - just as warped, but (since British and not French) not so theoretical/dialogue based and more action.
Books had instant replay long before televised sports. B. Williams
You're exactly right. It reminded me of both those films. I believe their relationship was doomed from the start and it was great that it did not have a silly Hollywood ending. Ever see "The Player?".
shareI loved reading everyone's posts. Very good discussion. In French they call what happened to the couple the "malentendu" - the misunderstanding.
The ending was a typical European ending. What a contrast with the typical American "feel good" ending! I admit sometimes I like these films. But as an adult, I know too well that most things in life don't end up roses.
This type of a misunderstanding happened to me when I was young. I had just gotten back from a 9 month study abroad program. During the last weeks there I became very ill. I did not know it at the time but I had the beginnings of a serious auto-immune illness. Once my bf heard I was back, he raced over to see me. When I saw him, I was nervous as I felt that I did not look good,I was not feeling well and I was having a rough adjustment to being back.
I thought he was disappointed in how I looked and that his feelings must have changed. I ran into him years later and he said that he was very hurt when he saw me because he no longer saw the passion in my eyes. He thought I was no longer in love w/him (just like the man in the film) He started to pull away and I figured that those 9 months away and been too long for him.
Once we talked about it all later on, we realized how much we had gotten wrong but alas, I was now married. However, I learned an important lesson about how easy things can get messed up between 2 people who really care about each other. It was good to get closure because for all those years, I thought his feelings for me had just died and I never understood why.
The many posters who wrote about our insecurities are so right. I will be thinking about this movie for a while.
Great post I am glad you are married and i would hope happy with the one you are with. It seems I may be the rare one who feels the ending was the best for them. I always feel things happen for a reason the film says very little about how life is without each other. I feel a lot of us weather it was a summer vacation or a brief fling think about what it could have been.
I did not see love so much as I saw full enjoyment of each other as the song says what's love got to do with it. it would have served only to make them miserable and the best thing is for it to remain a memory, always cherished always loved incrypted in there minds, they had a age gap and it would have been gotten awkward if it went for a longer period of time, it would have subsided before long. That is not love but excitement for what was taking place, great sex and never forgetting tenderness with no consequences.
A lot of people will take that over a failed romance any day.
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I know exactly what you mean, OP. I loved and hated it too. But I love it all the more because I hate it. It hits you even harder because you don't see it coming, or at least I didn't. I mean, you could probably guess from some things like their "current" selves talking about it, but in the moment I wasn't thinking about that.
I was surprised by my inability to turn this movie off, and was blown away by the ending.