Resolution?


Was I the only one who was shocked at Elisabeth forgiving Rolf at the end? After her self-discovery there was more to life than looking after a man, she goes back to her abusive husband. Why is this?

I used to be Snow White -- but I drifted

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[deleted]

Thank you... it was nice to hear another perspective :)

I used to be Snow White -- but I drifted

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[deleted]

[deleted]

I saw the title of this post and thought it had something to do with the ending of the movie, since the story and not the tech specs were the the most important part.

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[deleted]

I think the resolution is somewhat flawed. Elisabeth does forgive Rolf remarkably quickly considering he hasn't done anything to prove to her he has changed.

Maybe since she has changed she realises that he can too. And we assume that things don't go back to the way they were since she says she wants to stay in the commune - and Rolf is doing the washing up.

Perhaps the story is actually quite realistic since people so forgive each other for even very nasty behaviour. People often get back with an abusive partner just without proof that they have changed. If you love someone sometimes their word is enough - even if it isn't true.

I love this film by the way - it always makes me cry .

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[deleted]

Also, it seems that Rolf is now willing to accept Göran and Tillsammans, and that probably represents some kind of security to her.

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This movie is a portrait of contrarianism and rebellion, but it isn't entirely condoning. A lot of compromises are made over the course of the movie,mostly on account of the children, and they are presented as good things. A brilliant point that the movie makes is that one can be biased by society's opinions and standards, but also by a staunch rejection of them. Anna, for example, is a character who is having trouble thinking for herself because she is too caught up in an automatic rejection of "the establishment." This is most eloquently explained when Eva tells her neighbor about how the house reminds her of a children's story in which everybody decides to talk in opposites.
In Tillsammans we see the good and the bad of the unconventional. We see the joy these people find in truly being together (most evident in the football scenes) and we see the bitter fights over washing dishes and marxist dialectics between Erik and Lasse. The movie is asking us not to view this story in black and white.

To bring this back to the subject of the post, Rolf has clearly done a lot to change himself. Elisabeth had gotten to the point where she was so excited about her anger at chovinism that she was unable to see Rolf as the new person he had become. The ending finds all the characters at a melting point, where they have developed judgement of their own: not the Man's, but not necessarily always the anti-Man.

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Nice one, GraveCharmer.

What I found partcicularly interesting is how on the one hand "bourgeois" characters like Rolf, Elizabeth and even Birger or the neighbour lady turn out to be quite openminded ; joining in meditation, snow-football and possibly living in a comunity (it's not stated that Rolf will move in, but it certainly is my interpretation).

Yet, on the other hand many of the so-called free-spirited hippy folk turn out much less open to change or ideas differing from their own. I mean, the one couple can't handle the presence of a tiny black-and-white TV set, the other one gets upset when not everyone is a devout commie like he is, etc.

So in a way, this movie is about poking fun at people who preach openmindedness, but fail to live up to those standards themselves.

To me, the protagonist in this film is Göran. A really nice guy who was convinced he was living the dream, but really wasn't ; being dominated by his girlfriend, always giving in to the opinions of other people in the house. It's only by following his own heart and his own opinions that he really gets set free and really starts enjoying himself. Watching the occasional bit of TV, eating the occasional bit of meat, etc. (after all, being a militant vegetarian is just as dogmatic as being a fascist).

He comes out a winner, as do the other people who were prepared to question themselves and make changes ; Rolf, Elizabeth, the children and even the guy who ends up sleeping with Klas, I suppose.

I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

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Nice post, gravecharmer. I agree with your post.

**********
They blew up Congress!!! HAHAHA!

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I'd disagree with part of this. The other hippies who intially were as "close-minded" as the others (the ones that did leave) to open up in a different direction (the inverse of bourgeois movement) - they all eat meat together at the table, they welcome in a new person like Goran's sister, and they all watch TV together. I think point was to demonstrate that both sides, the hippie and bourgeois, had to learn to have to grow in a different way and in the end, they'd end up in meeting somewhere halfway. Also keep in mind where they do meet in the end - it's not in some lonely concrete apartment building - it's in the commune - in the home. I think the film was meant to congruous.

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Desmarates, I think you're right about this film poking fun at people who hold a double standard.

In fact, I see my more "open-minded", "hippy" friends in those characters, who buy a lot of one particular brand because it's fair-trade or whatnot and when I tell them it's still excessive consumerism, they say it isn't because this is a different kind of consumerism. Or when another friend of mine says that she likes making people aware of how priveliged they are. Or when vegetarians tell people how vegetarian they are day after day.

I liked this film because it's a reflection back at the reflectors.

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Something else to consider is that perhaps Elisabeth is perpetuating the cycle of violence that so many women in domestic violence situations unfortunately continue in?

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This is true, but I also suspect Rolf's violence was driven by his drinking. I'd be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until he starts up with one or the other again ... then I'd make a break for the nearest commune.

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Apparantly he ha hit her twice, one before they got married and one at least 13 years later. Hardly all that abusive. Everyone gets carried away from time to time. She seemed to love him and he seemed to love her, I really don't see the problem with her forgiving him.

Somebody here has been drinking and I'm sad to say it ain't me - Allan Francis Doyle

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Yeah, it was only twice that he hit her, with years separating it. I'm not forgiving his actions, or trying to make it sound OK, but he was not a regular abusive psychopath. And he seemed to understand that his actions was a result of his drinking problems, which he took great pains solving. The neighbour helped him realise that he had done wrong, and he really tried to redeem himself. All respect to him for that, and Elisabeth forgave him because she saw that he really tried to change.
And she wasn't going back to him unconditionally, she had set some rules now. She was very clear that she wasn't going to leave the commune, so if he wanted to live with her he would have to move in as well - which he seemed to accept.

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- Who's the lady with the log?
- We call her the Log Lady.

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When you have kids sometimes we do things for them, he was changing, so why not give him a second chance. It's called the power of forgiving. What I never can understand is why does a woman forgiving a man who has changed always bother so many of you.

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Grave and Des have it right.
I think this film is mostly about lonliness and the strength you can find in other people. In today's society we really don't get enough of togetherness and we are all depressed and on medication. Also, the movie is about being openminded. The mother-earth couple and the marxist were bound by so many rules they made for themselves I don't see how they can call themselves "free."

The commune was a place of healing. First Elisbeth, then the children, then Lasse/Klas, Rolf. All Rolf had to do was sit in his car out front to start to heal. He and the friend who kept breaking his toilet for human interaction, it didn't seem like they wanted to leave a place that was obviously full of exactly what they were missing.

Lasse and Klas will obviously have an affair for a while, if it pans out is anyones guess (mine is no.) Anna seems to have found her calling in healing broken spirits. She does a fine job with Elisabeth, and at the end we can see her doing the same thing with the mother across the street (Do you meditate? Let's join the football.") She was the most open-minded of the bunch, and seemed to be learning her limits as we meet her, sans pants.

Lena was a child trying to have fun. Goran...poor Goran. He watched Rolf beg at the door for his wife back. He knew that was something he would never have with Lena. We all deserve someone who will fight to keep us, who can't live without us, she cried when the marxist left. When he threw Lena out, that was when Elisabeth saw what wanting to get rid of someone really meant. She didn't have that same conviction with Rolf. Rolf at the door was a pivitol moment in the story. Anna went to talk with Lasse, Goran threw out Lena, Elisabeth melted. They all listened to the love that Rolf was yelling through the door and they acted on it.

Goran is a pushover, but he is mighty cool in the fact that he owns a house he functions as a commune, some very lovely woman will be very attracted to that and love him for it. I'm not worried about Goran.

Does Rolf move in? Maybe, maybe not. I've been a fan of spouses living next door or across the street from each other for some time. Some couples wind up with seperate bedrooms and still have to live with evidence of the offending party all around the house. With two places a couple gets to have their own space and still they are close enough if one wants to knock on the door at 3AM to apologize and cuddle then they are just across the street. This isn't fesible for the most part due to money, and the whole point of the movie was that togetherness matters, but sometimes you just need your space. We know Elisabeth wasn't gone too long because the cut on her lip is still there. It just took some time apart to miss each other waaaay too much. If Rolf doesn't move in, he will move close by. BTW, Rolf hit her twice in all the years. She did the right thing in leaving, and she did the right thing in forgiving him.

The mother from across the street, and the plumbing-deficient friend coming into the fold at the end sums it all up, Barbra Streisand knows who the lucky people are. And the last song was Abba's SOS.

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Very good post, atharuss.

Excellent movie.

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This was a really great thread for a really great film. You guys pointed out some things that I didn't pick up on, and it only made me appreciate the movie more, so.... huzzah!

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All-in-all, a beautiful, simple, deep movie. Very character driven, and the reason I have to watch a foreign film every once in a while.

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