Even Jaime Pressly's pretty face can't save it...
Even Jaime Pressly's pretty face can't save this piece of crap from a ZERO...
Between once and a while we watch those sort of movies that makes us wonder while watching "Wouldn't it be a great idea if IMDB finally introduce the 0 as a rating option?!"
Well that feeling will last for about the first couple of minutes into the movie including the credits but after that i started to wonder "Wouldn't it be great if IMDB introduces a whole parallel negative (-1, -2, -10) rating scheme?"
Because frankly you can not rate this movie on the current rating system and that movie begs for a new radical rating scheme that starts from the top 10 being Excellent down to the bottom -10 being a Ticker...
Do not get me wrong, The movie had its good moments like looking at some pretty faces such as Jaime Pressly's and Simone Levin's but the thing is the movie is so unbelievably awful to the point that if Jaime and Simone starting making out in front of the screen it would like... save it may be a rating point and even that i doubt it because at the end of the day you will still be suffering from the whole Ticker trauma that may in some cases require an immediate medical attention and in my case i out right call for a Ticker support group in the major cities.
And to believe that Ticker came from the director that brought us JCVD's Cyborg in 1989 is a mystery to me... And if you do not know, Technically this movie was before Exit Wounds 2001 and after The Patriot 1998 and they actually got someone like Tom Sizemore (between HEAT and BLACK HAWK DOWN), Jaime Pressly and Dennis Hopper "True i can't stand the guy but still!" and of course this was supposed to be a Seagal movie... It is just mind bending how it sucks so much.
I am starting to believe that may be i watched ~90 mins of Ticker bloopers and the actual film is residing in a vault somewhere.
Since i give a damn about humanity i will post links to the good parts of the movie so that you do not have to go through the Ticker experience...
Links:
Jaime Pressly
http://www.mediafire.com/?ojtzhomgdlq
Simone Levin
http://www.mediafire.com/?2inlzn1mu2z
Steven Seagal punishing a car
http://www.mediafire.com/?wajja4zekvn
And as a bonus i will let you see how is a flash back sequence should be like
http://www.mediafire.com/?djd4jmojukz
It seems as if they bought the flash back sequence from some obscure online store that offers stock flash back sequences.
My rating is (-9/10)
After seeing Ticker, Time Bombs are off my top ten list of scariest things ever, Yeah watching something like Ticker ever again has pretty much replaced it.