R2 DVD
It's available on play.com for £3.99 !!
shareDon't buy it, its a pile of *beep*, the people who have reviewed it must be friends of the director, i got fooled into watching this rubbish don't make the same mistake !!
shareIt has about 2 oddly funny parts, but yes, it is very poor.
shareThis film is awesome! How can you not like a film that contains the following: ***WARNING -- SPOILERS*** (although I defy anyone to spoil THIS film)
1) A lecherous farmer, who has the first lines in the film following what is essentially a twenty minute introduction filmed in an "artistic" manner .
-- "Do you like horses lad?"
2) A house full of Cumbriam vamps (that happily walk around in the daytime, dressing each other. Yes thats right. Dressing) -- headed by none other than the prince of darkness, Dracula himself, who for the purposes of this film, is also known as "James". He is an ageing sleaze, and locks his current bride in the basement with the hope of biting some of the other random vamps floating around. Apparantly Dracula is not what he used to be -- he jumps at small noises, nearly biting off his tongue when surprised by the other members of the household, including a psychic, who spends 95% of her screentime in the bath. He also says sh!t when turned down for a biting.
3) A french, fruit-eating alien. Who kills dracula with a handgun.
4) Vamps stripping because they are "too visable"
5) A fire juggler who is assinated by the "Men In Black"
6) A bagpiper who meets the same fate.
7) You would have thought that a director that can get away with using the same piece of film...exactly the same piece of film..12+ times during the invasion scene couldn't get anymore awesome..You would be wrong. Sorenson puts his masterful directing skills to work -- and reverses the shot! GENIUS!!
And Finally : hearing the sound man sneeze (its either that or random sound effects, the inclusion of which is beyond me)
Anyway..watch it, its great for a laugh ;)
You forgot to mention Michael Jouvet, the man who tred on ten thousand skulls to get where he is, who is played by the same person who plays Tom, the vampire who wets himself. This poor casting is explained by the fact that they are brothers. Every line of Jouvets is solid gold, and as we all know eating an apple makes you look super cool and very dramatic. Seriouly you have to watch it, and it has a deep and meaningful message (its crowbarred in at the end). One thing to watch out for, why does our alien heroin place the tray on the bed during the opening fight so meticulously, it even zooms in
shareIt's not actually the real Dracula. They just called him that as a kind of "in joke". It is odd that he died with a bullet though. I always thought the way to dispatch a vamp was a steak through the heart.
Oh well, You can get away with anything in movie land. That's what it's all about.
"This is a pretty fast cart, so brace yourselves."