What I learned from watching Dungeons and Dragons...................
Ok, this is going to be a long one......prepare yourself....here we go............just watched this for the first time........do not own the DVD....
1)The person that should be blamed for this film being the way it is actually Lorraine Williams, who forced Solomon to direct the movie when Solomon only wanted to produce it.
2) Yes, folks......Jeremy Irons CAN overact and ham it up to the 9th degree like the rest of us. And still come out with a somewhat passable performance.
3) It really says something about this movie when Bruce Payne actually gives a more convincing and more interesting performance than Jeremy Irons.
4) Second-in-command evil henchmen in Izmer like to wear blue lipstick---the reason why that is is never explained.
5) Thora Birch did AMERICAN BEAUTY and was never heard from again.
6) One of the ICONIC creatures in the D & D Universes-----the BEHOLDER-----is given a brief glimpse of ----a "walk-on" role, as it were----and then is never heard from again. I guess a fight with it would not be as exciting as watching Marlon Wayans getting murdered by Bruce Payne.
7) Even in the D & D world of Izfer, many thieves will talk and act like modern-day street hustlers.
8) Halflings only punch you beneath the waist.
9) The game is the game and the movie is the movie. Red Dragons (which, from my admittedly 1980s-only D & D experience ), which usually align evil, also defend the Empress of Izfer on the side.
10) In THIS D & D world, it is actually mazes which are actually dangerous and almost impassable------NOT dungeons. Dungeons are actually easy to get through, provided you are THE CHOSEN ONE and the "dungeon" is little more that a glorified treasure room with a talking skeleton in it.
11) You know a movie is derivative when the climax of the movie is uncomfortably reminiscent of the climax of RETURN OF THE JEDI.
12) You also a know a movie is derivative when the hero's clothing at the end uncomfortably reminds the viewer of Han Solo's clothing throughout the Star Wars movies.
13) It is also derivative when Thora Birch's armor is almost identical to Mordred's under-armor in the far-better EXCALIBUR (1981).
14) Profion=Palpatine. Damodar=sort of Darth Vader. Get it?
15) Thora Birch=Natalie Portman. Right?
16) The hero in the world of Izfer has powers and a destiny which everybody but him is aware of.
17) There are "good" thieves and "bad" thieves. The "good" thieves know that there IS honor among thieves, but not the "bad" ones.
18) Izfer thieves get the bejeezus beaten out of them by the henchman villain and they show no bruises or blood-----and they only die after being stabbed to death by the baddie.
19) No matter what, Marlon Wayans is not going to get laid by an elf. She is "too old" for him and just not interested. She WILL accompany the hero to go to wherever Marlon Wayans is, though.
20) Believe it or not, things CAN change.
21) Good to know------Being where your dead life-long friend is IS better than being knighted by the empress.
22) In D & D Izfer world, being an apprentice mage getting laid by the hero changes your hairstyle. Also, you and the hero retain bruises even after spending time being "healed" by the elves.
23) Even in fantasy movies, you know the black guy is going to get killed sooner or later. Not only that, he will be the ONLY good guy killed.
24) Apparently most of the Dwarves in D & D Izfer world look and act like scuzzy, low-rent versions of Gimli from the Lord Of The Rings movies.
25) Black thieves' love interests are conveniently the same race as him-------proving that elves are of ALL races.
26) Izfer questing partners are different from standard D & D grouping. Of five questing characters, TWO of them are thieves, one an elf ranger-type(?), a dwarf barbarian-type (?) and one basically useless apprentice mage.
27) Dwarves hate horses. Did not know that from D & D.
28) An Izfer evil henchmen will show incredible loyalty to his master and stick by him even after the master has put the henchman under a terrible compulsory spell that has tortured and almost killed him for most of the movie.
29) An Izffer thief, who is also the hero, is noble enough to believe the henchman when he says he will not harm the love interest if he gives up the coveted staff of power the henchman wants.
30) Elves for some reason work for the Empress of Izfer.
31) Apparently a lot of the scenes in the Elfin kingdom were cut, since elfin characters appear in the movie whom are unidentified and are not clear to the plot (the elves who gave Whalin the sword, for example?)
32) The same master that put the henchmen under the above-mentioned evil compulsory spell for most of the movie also shows more honor than the thieves in Izfer by keeping his word and releasing said henchmen from the spell once the henchman has accomplished the task. Proving that even evil wizards in Izfer have more honor than most of the thieves there.
I'm sure there are more, but I'm done for now.......
Actually a not-totally bad movie, in its OWN way.............
Anything else I may have missed? LOL...........