MovieChat Forums > Todo sobre mi madre (2000) Discussion > Son and mother relationship at the begin...

Son and mother relationship at the beginning

posted 15 years ago by JohnM_99
38 replies | jump to latest

I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but did anybody find the overall tone of conversations between the son and the mother at the start of the movie a bit "creepy"? If I saw these scenes without knowing they were son and mother, I would've thought they were lovers. Maybe this is a cultural difference between where I grew up (Japan/US) and Spain, but I would never, ever talk to my mom the way he does (i.e. him being overly serious and abundantly generous in reassuring her every-time she shows a bit of insecurities, him pleading to see her theater works and her workplace despite of her being coy (ewww), etc).

I don't know, if he was visiting her after a long time away from home (such as coming back home from his college year) and they miss each other so much, maaaaaybe I could understand him and her being like that somewhat (well, not really). I mean, if he's been living with his mother all his life, him being so suddenly and ardently curious about his mom's entire life just doesn't make any sense to me (surely he must've been to her workplace BEFORE???)

Could people personally relate to the overall tone of their relationship at the beginning? I couldn't.

[–] voided-1 15 years ago

Not personally, but there are many different lives out there that may be disimilar to yours and mine. I found it a believable relationship, afterall, there was no father so they were close.

"I was born last night, when you met me in that alley. That way i'm no past and all future, see."

[–] PhoenixPhuck 15 years ago

still creepy

Even the most primitive of societies have an innate respect for the insane.

[–] thespread 15 years ago

Yeah. I was kind of glad when Esteban got hit by the car. He seemed to be harbouring an Oedipus complex or something. It was all a bit too odd for me to empathise with him, he just came across as a creepy, smug jerk who liked his mother too much.
I really didn't care for this movie.

No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It's a job. That didn't come out right.

[–] PhoenixPhuck 15 years ago

I can't say I was glad when Esteban got hit by the car...but I sure didn't miss him. He was no doubt harboring an Oedipus complex and was really creepy...but it wasn't him I felt sorry for, it was his mother. Thought the movie was absolutely fantastic regardless.

Even the most primitive of societies have an innate respect for the insane.

[–] syldt1 14 years ago

"Yeah. I was kind of glad when Esteban got hit by the car. He seemed to be harbouring an Oedipus complex or something. It was all a bit too odd for me to empathise with him, he just came across as a creepy, smug jerk who liked his mother too much.
I really didn't care for this movie."

Now that comment is creepy!

[–] moonnymph 14 years ago

Please, Hispanic, heck, most European families are very warm and touchy with each other. See how nearly everyone kisses for greetings unless they're meeting for the first time? It's just natural for them to be more invasive of each other's space than in the U.S. or definitely in Japan, where physical interaction isn't often present in daily life. Italian families probably act in a similar manner to the people in this movie.

To me, it was strange only because having grown up in America I don't physically touch people in the way they do in this film. But my Spanish language teachers interact with each other with little shoulder touches and hugs; it's far more normalized in their relationships.

[–] franzkabuki 12 years ago

Apparently, you´re unaware that there is no such thing as some homogenuous European culture and that customs vary heavily from country to country; while all this kissing and hugging may be normal in Southern Europe, it most certainly isn´t that in the Nordic countries or even Germany or England.

But I´m sure, Spain being this starkly catholic country and all, the kind of dick talk those mother & son engaged in this film, is hardly commonplace. Probably just another one of Almodovar´s tiresome "shock" tactics.

"facts are stupid things" - Ronald Reagan

[–] rita-finol 15 years ago

I don't know where the people who commented here are from, but I, being from South America and having a culture heavily influenced by that of Spain, didn't see anything strange in their relationship. He does act as the 'man of the house' but that is understandable since there is no father figure there, so I guess he has taken on a sort of protective role. But I still think all of that is very normal, they're just very close.

[–] PhoenixPhuck 15 years ago

Yeah I'm from North America and that's just not how you usually see it 'round here

Even the most primitive of societies have an innate respect for the insane.

[–] shobuzshomoy 14 years ago

Hmm..thatz it. The cultural difference!

[–] katie_0305 15 years ago

We watched this film in our Film Studies class today. There were some people in the class asking whether there was more to their relationship. I can kind of see it, but as he has no father figure it is normal for Mother and Son to be this close.
Brilliant film.

[–] afacewithaview 15 years ago

I didn't see him as having an Oedipus complex. I just thought he was gay and kind of feminime allowing him to become closer to her

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] eradicatethedoubt 15 years ago

point them out then pls

stay until Wednesday and write me a childlike letter pretending

[–] babylou261 15 years ago

Ive studied this film and Esteban has oedipal desires for his mum because she infantilises him so much, she doesnt let him grow up and treats him like a child. Him dying is her punishment for letting the oedipal complex continue. So the scene at the start is supposed to be slightly uncomfortable because she does nothing to stop his desire for her.

[–] Littledoctor90 15 years ago

wow i completely disagree babylou261. im hispanic too btw and i found absolutely nothing wrong or oedipal about their relationship AT ALL. in a lot of cultures usually, the boys are always closer to the mothers, especially when there is no father. and plus, if u see the film with subtitles, its always different than the exact translation or what their trying to say, i saw it in spanish and didnt think anything was odd

[–] yuma310 13 years ago

laarana83:

If you want to see mother-to-son incest, I'd be glad to point anyone to a few movies with this content. : )

sure you can, perv. but do you even realize that there is a difference between incest and an oedipus complex? says a lot about you, that does. :)

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] JohnM_99 10 years ago

Hahaha, I must say that's hilarious. I just wonder Latin culture in general is in some kind of denial about oedipus complex??

[–] yohan_euan_o4 15 years ago

I was not aware that it isn't okay in Japan and the US for a mother and son to be intimate unless he's coming back home from college year. He's just asking about her past and being nice; is he meant to not care, or act like he doesn't? I didn't notice there being too much interest on his part but maybe it's something more innocuous - filmmakers commonly have characters being inquisitive so you can know more about them.

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[–] roycant07 15 years ago

WTF, are you guys talking about? This is definitely a culture difference. I too am of hispanic decent and I saw nothing wrong with the relationship they had. This is how southern europeans and latin americans are with their mothers. I am also married to an Anglo American and I understand why a lot of you see it as weird. In my wife's family there is less of a mother/son relationship and it seems a little colder but I know that they love their kids too. It's just that family is really tight in Latin based cultures; French, Spanish, Latino, Italian, etc.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] sergio_lv13 14 years ago

I did not find anything creepy at all. It must be, like some have already stated, the culture difference. I'm from South America (Peru) and families are usually like that shown in the movie. We kiss, hug and are 'that' close with our relatives. I've always find it interesting how in the US the children leave home at a very early age (while still in their teens) whereas in most latinamerican countries, children tend to live many years with their parents, that is until they get married.

Beautiful, beautiful film.

[–] projectcyclops 14 years ago

I thought it was quite a natural relationship - keep in mind that not only is he an only child, but he grew-up without a father, and his mother is all he has. Of course they would be closer than most mothers/sons.

Wonderful film, my favourite of his after 'Talk To Her'.

---

He left a note. He left a simple little note that said "I've gone out the window."

[–] Towelie_Towel 14 years ago

I'm latin and I'm pretty sure it was very very creepy. The way he made that smooth killer look all the time, he was about to jump on her and make out with her.

[–] Littledoctor90 13 years ago

lol

[–] Dr_Dmitri-Yuriev 13 years ago

It's a cultural thing, Hispanics and Latin Americans are very close to their family members. I'm American, but have parents who were born in Mexico and I didn't see anything wrong with their relationship. In fact as another member mentioned Esteban seemed a bit effeminate to me, I assumed he was gay, but considering he dies early on and we never learn more about him we'll never know. However, I don't think there are too many straight men who obsess that much about cinema, theater and older actresses (I could be wrong though)?

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