Favourite quotes - The League of Gentlemen (2000) Discussion

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

It has!

But we never mind answering.......... .

"I would have wished for a self lowering lavatory seat a long time ago"

Be seeing you
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] iwerewolf_werewolf 19 years ago

classic!

I won that. At least I won the mums!

"This is a local thread for local people, there's nothing for you here"

reply

[–] Pastry_chef_1985 19 years ago

"I can, I can't!"
"El-mit!"
"Hello? What's all this shouting, we'll have no trouble here!"
"So, Bummer Boy, there were plenty of you in the forces, you won't catch me with my pants down!"
"They won't get far" *clutches crossbow*
"Perhaps if you weren't cavorting with Madamé Palm and her 5 lovely daughters"
"We'lll say you were shaking hands with the Governor of Love"

reply

[–] saugoof 19 years ago

Some people call this community theatre, I call it aids in a van.

reply

[–] chachaa 19 years ago

We didn't burn him

reply

[–] jskjas 19 years ago

I can, I can't

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

Just a few words on the subject of onnernism! In this house, we dont masterbate

Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] yar_daaave 19 years ago

"Okey cokey pig in a pokey!"

"P iss off Ross"

"SKEWED BEE, HAVE ANY BODY GOT ANY BOKKLE AV ARAN DOOVE?"

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

But It tastes so good!

Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] curtin_parloe 19 years ago

I also love "Eskewed Beef! Haff anybody goit anny bockle awran joof?"

"Velly Eentellesting Meester Bond..."

"I will take you in my German mouth"

*gasps*"Death by mau mau!"
"Oh, you've heard it then."

reply

[–] sleepy_haggis 19 years ago

"good morning jobseekers!"

also

"hello dave, ur my wife now"

"wanna buy some pegs"

anything by papa lazarou

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

Sleepy Haggis... what a cool sign in name.....

You could also include on your top ten....

We didnt burn him!

Twelvety Pounds

You sick Toad Man!

and

Glad that I live am I.................... Bernice your a star!!!!

Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] tinstar_ 19 years ago

"What is egregious?"

reply

[–] winterolympics_fan 17 years ago

Pauline, when Ross asks her if she knows what it'll be like to be on the dole: "'Course I do - laying in bed 'til lunchtime, flicking meself off to 'Trisha'" (or words to that effect).

Not a quote, but I love the bit in the Christmas special where Chinnery's ancestor's train is being waved to by the kids (a la 'The Railway Children'), and someone moons them out of the window!

reply

[–] dan-babar 19 years ago

Why can no-one spell onanism??? You morons!!! Haven't you read your Bibles??? I should probably explain - Onanism comes from a man named Onan who "spilt his seed on the ground" ie bashed the bishop. The level of intellect in these message-boards is dangerously low.

reply

[–] tinstar_ 19 years ago

Do you include yourself in that analysis?

reply

[–] TroJanDudE 19 years ago

babar who are you to go on about intellects, you put a hyphen in between message and boards, LOSER!!!!!

We didnt burn him!!!

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

Your a marvel dan babar............

I always wondered where the word came from and what it actually meant. I new what it meant from what was inferred.....

Thanks for filling in the gaps for me!

Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] tuesday_week 19 years ago

I spy the Boy Who Called Morons. I should probably explain - the sin of Onan was actually coitus interruptus, but over the following centuries masturbation became attached to his name instead.
One question or exclamation mark is usually enough to get your point across.

reply

[–] RondoHatton 18 years ago

And yes, I know they weren't talking about sailors, but hey, this is a family thread. Re: Onan, there's a diesel engine company by that name. I always wondered why they came up with the name(but almost always went nudge nudge when I'd see their signs). Maybe it has to do with the Wankel engine.

reply

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] InterpolStella 19 years ago

"One little prick and it'll all be over. Then they cut my cock off"

"How dare you! In this house we do not use the 'f' word!"

LMAO

It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

reply

[–] barrysoccer-1 19 years ago

"...are bummers deaf"

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

Call me............ Daddy

And the post from Tinstar........ was that a question or a quote love...... cos egregious means unpleasant...
Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] toddbrian-37176 7 years ago

oooh , ooooh , oooh....why not go to Websters Dictionary , or the Oxford English or even( God Forbid ) Wiki pedia and remove all doubt as to what these words mean?

You are Myyyy Wiife Naowwwwwww

reply

[–] Jofferson 19 years ago

"Don't worry Tubbs, they won't get far!"

Just for being so creul, letting them go only to hunt them down. Brilliant!!

reply

[–] TroJanDudE 19 years ago

1. Tefelone???
2. WE DIDNT BURN HIM!!!
3. He said I could see his helmet if I showed him my points
4. My wife would like to use your toilet
5. "how many cans of Cant?" ........."Twelvety"
6. "I want a drink, have you got any cans of coke?"....."I can, I can't????"

We didnt burn him!!!

reply

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ninianparkite 19 years ago

Tubbs- There is a Swansea.

reply

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] kellymariekitty 11 years ago

hahahha I live in Swansea too - first time I heard that line I laughed my head off.

reply

[–] oscarbuzzlover 10 years ago

Virtually every line said by Herr Lipp in the Christmas special:

Don't let the bugger bite you!
Aftershame
The queer boys who sing in the queer
Ah yes, come in my face full!
I think one of us has done a trump!

Papa Lazaru -

This has become a saga now!
My wife wants to use your toilet....

One of my favourite exchanges between Pauline and MIckey in order to undermine Ross:

MIckey: big issue?
Pauline: how much?
MIckey: pound
Pauline: have a fiver!! See? It's easy

Edward:

What's going on? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here!
Tea leaf eh? - that line isn't even particularly funny, but Reece delivers it so brilliantly

And a special mention for Cathy Carter Smith in the live show:

And clean the bastard bins on your way out!

reply

[–] ronin1138 19 years ago

1st favorite quote is off Pauline when she flips at Ross when she fails 'his' moc job interview

Pauline - Foul *beep* mouthed!

2nd Tubs - We didn't burn him!

3rd Babs- only got off the hormones last week, me nipples are like bullets.

looking forward to the film
-I made a little brown fish!

reply

[–] drmorbius2 19 years ago

Hows about...............

Can I have a look at your points?

or

Then strangers came into the shop....in gangs of one or two!

Oh my lord, what I wouldn't give to live somewhere like that! Hang on ............ I do..arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Mad......I'll show em!

Be Seeing You
Drmorbius2

reply

[–] loonytoad 19 years ago

theres a shelf full of black pudding out there, cant say i care for it......

"your toilet is blocked"
"no its not."
"it is now"

reply

[–] Greeze_to_the_creeze 19 years ago

Lines, lines lines lines lines, what do they mean

it's a map, they lead to places

local places?

uh..no

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah

reply

[–] tinstar_ 19 years ago

"...that'll do."

I love that one, it's so well observed.

reply

[–] xshadowhawkx 19 years ago

I have seven favourites....

1. Harvey: Perhaps you are a naturally slothful person. Sluggish and indolent. A dawdling flaneur, content to waste his life, spreadeagled on pillows, forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm...

2. Chinnery:...Was he VERY old?

3. Radclyff: My father knows about these things Mr Chinnery, it IS it's rectum!

4. Papa Lazarou:... You're not Dave?

5. Papa Lazarou: I'm senseing someone else... Is it your husband George!?
Old Lady: Can I speak with him?
Papa Lazarou: No, he's dead.

6. Man: You're wife is...
Edward: local?

7.Papa Lazarou: Then why do you grieve for her soul?
Old Lady: I don't!
Papa Lazarou: Good, because she tells you not to grieve!

reply

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] devil_darla 19 years ago

Ross and Pauline

Home
Royston Vasey

Family
Dead

Friends
Pens

I may be dead but i'm still pretty

reply

[–] Tonks1982 19 years ago

"Someone has to stay in control...."

EXSKEWED BEEF! HAV ANYBODY GOT ANY BOKKLE AV ARAN DOOVE?!

reply

[–] RalphFilthy 19 years ago

MannyFagnet said:
>
> "What do you want me to do about it roll over and sh*t mars bars."
>
> Bernice Xmas special

That wasn't Bernice, it was Cathy Carter-Smith, Pauline's restart officer.

Xmas special:
"Are you the vicar?"
"No, I'm the fu kkin gardener..."

James H

reply

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] carnivore 19 years ago

I dont know the names but here are te lines none the less.

If you don’t under stand any of this come to me later and I will take you in my German mouth!

Or

How dare you Sir! In this house we do not use the F word. This… is a Toad!

And

I thought my son was a marry queen, A marry queen you know A Marry queen. A shlt stabber!

:P

thank God I'm an athiest

reply