This show had some great lines. Contributions welcome.
Doctor, Thurgood and Doctor, in the doctors surgery.
DOCTOR:
What the hell you doing with a pet rat? Don't you know these things spread disease. (THE DOC LOOKS AT SMOKEY) Look what it did to your dog?
THURGOOD
He aint a dog, he's a man!!!!
The episode where Thurgoode buys the old movie theater...
I don't remember the set-up of the joke, but Smokey starts singing "Girl, You Know It's True" by Milli-Vanilli and is mimicking the dance steps from the video. When he's done, his eye twitches something crazy!
(I can't help but wonder if Dave Chappelle was inspired by this character to create his crackhead character, Tyrone Biggums?)
In the same episode he runs in the theater to warn everyone that the roof is on fire and it turns into the chorus of "The Roof Is On Fire" by the Rockmaster Scott & The Dynamic Three. I'm sure people in Middle America were scratching their heads, but to those of us "who knew and understood" that piece? Instant classic!
(...Man, I miss jokes like those.)
"I'm Like a Thoroughbred in a donkey race... I'll beat your Ass!"
Awe man, someone else that appreciates good comedy.
Thanks for replying to this post. I never had cable when this show was on so I've only seen a few. I have a few on tape. Will never tape over them!
They're not on DVD. The main reason I started this post was to hear some of the jokes I missed.
The one you posted is classic!
"Thurgood only has one testicle!"
[deleted]
Here's one!
Thurgood is in hospital.
DOC: "Mrs Stubbs, your father is in excellent condition for a man in his sixties.
MURIEL: "He's my husband and he's forty-eight"
The Doc spits hot tea all over Thurgood.
DOC (shocked): "Forty-eight!?".
Thurgood wakes.
THURGOOD: "It burns, it burns, I'm in hell, it burns!"
I loved the way Thurgood would insert famous black people into his cliques' --'Halle-Berry-luyah!' and 'What on Eartha Kitt?'...are a couple that come to mind.
shareYeah those were funny.
"You Bet your Shabaaz" they were funny!
james-134, the one you said, about thurgood and the doctor is way hilarious. i also like any episode where the pot head guy goes "this is what you wanted, right?", and it's way off from whatever thurgood wanted him to get/do.
shareBad Heart Episode: "Aw, you made my favorite sandwich, a BWLT, bacon without letuce or tomato (sp?)" Thurgood
Random:"I will not use a microwave without a door!" You use the bathroom, that doesn't have a door!"
No good die young, they just die before, during, or after they *beep* up their lives superhonky
"Whitney Huston, we have a problem" -Thurgood.
share1. What on Earth, Wind & Fire
2. I'm feeling a little dizzy Gillespie!
3. What the Hell-dridge Cleavor?
by James-134 on Wed May 4 2005 15:19:43 Here's one!
Thurgood is in hospital.
DOC: "Mrs Stubbs, your father is in excellent condition for a man in his sixties.
MURIEL: "He's my husband and he's forty-eight"
The Doc spits hot tea all over Thurgood.
DOC (shocked): "Forty-eight!?".
Thurgood wakes.
THURGOOD: "It burns, it burns, I'm in hell, it burns!"
my personal favorite
when thurgood finds out he is a distant relation to george washington.
MURIEL - oh thurgood you should run for office
THURGOOD - i can't run from officers! you saw what they did to rodney.
toooo funny!!!!!
almost choked when i first heard it.
smokey i like my coffe like my women thurgood you aint getten no bigass cup of coffe
shareOne of my favorite sight gags is in the Christmas episode. Jimmy is holding up the "baked potato Jesus" and commenting that "it's pretty freaky looking. It might scare children" In the background Thurgood is peeking around the corner. And when Jimmy puts the potato back down, Thurgood's face is in the exact same spot (with the same expression as the potato). That gag gets me every time!
Darryl
There are simply too many to remember 'em all. Every single episode has a ton of hilarious lines.
Here's one of my favorites from the Gumbo cook-off episode
Juicy Hudson: "I'd like to give a shout-out to my cardiologist who gave me a by-pass instead of a artificial heart. Yeah. Thanks for keeping it real."
*After Thurgood gets his GED"
Muriel: Thurgood you can even go after your masters!
Thurgood: Nah, I don't know Muriel, that was so long ago... I think it's time to let bygones be bygones.
ROFL!
"Cool will get ya dead." -Former NBA Power Forward, Karl Malone
In "Bougie Nights" after the will is read to the group and the line comes up "I leave all my belongings to whomever finds this will" someone (maybe Mrs Avery) yells:
"It's a lootenanny!"
Later in that episode in a takeoff of Citizen Kane, Thurgood walks by a wall of mirrors looking dejected and profoundly says; "Man I got a big butt"
And in "He's Gotta Have It" one of the side effects of the blood pressure medicine makes Thurgood a lot better disposed to his fellow project inhabitants. In one scene Sanchez is telling Thurgood a long and inane story about how he came by his Nevada hat.
Thurgood chuckles and says; "Tell it again!"
My friends and I have been quoting that one ever since.
In the Gumbo cookoff Thurgood wears a bib or shirt that says "I'm Gumbo Dammit" like the Eddie Murphy SNL "I'm Gumby Dammit" line.
I can only remember this episode where Calvin and Juicy skipped school and went to the movies and Juicy had a sign that said do not feed.
Thurgood:
Hey, uh, Juicy, you left your sign at the movies yesterday!
Juicy:
Nice try, Supa. I know for a fact, I did not have my sign with me at the movies yesterday.
You have no idea what war is like. - Tetsuya aka Casshern.
Health Department Worker: Attention urban poor! The federal health department in conjunction with the center of minority control is here today with complimentary flu shots!
[awkward pause]
Health Department Worker: [yelling] COMPLIMENTARY MEANS FREE!
[crowd suddenly runs to the van optimistically]
Smokey: Free needles? God is good!
In the episode entitled: "He's Gotta have it" :
Muriel and Thurgood want to go on a second honeymoon.
Thurgood: "Why don't we go to Hawaii ? I wonder how many transfers it takes to get to Hawaii..."
Muriel: "We could just go to Virginia... Virginia is for lovers...."
Thurgood: "What ?!?!?!? Muriel !!! you KNOW I can't leave the country !!!
Visa keeps turning me down !!!"
This show had some VERY smart humor at times. It had some great social commentary, but some of its best lines flew right over the heads of much of its audience.
"Homeboy in a homemade bungalow"
http://nonstoprocker03.dvdaf.com/owned
Walter - "All this old car needs is a little lovin"
Thurgood - "Yeah we'll treat it like a baby. (Car alarm goes off; Thurgood starts hitting it) Shut up! Shut up!"
Thurgood: Boy, you know you ain't supposed to be drinking alcohol.
Calvin: Why?
Thurgood: Because you don't know your limit.
Calvin: Then why do you guys drink it?
Thurgood: Because we know our limit. We've been drinking since we were your...shutup.
Calvin: Those racist cops are shooting at us!
Juicy: No, it's the black guy.
Calvin: Oh, well he probably had a good reason.
Thurgood: Boys, you aren't supposed to be driving for eight more years.
Walter: That's what the judge said to you too, Thurgood.
...
It's amazing that this show even aired. Topical satire like this seems so far away from the networks' field of vision these days, even for Fox. They're on the "reality" bandwagon, which doesn't seem real at all.
I always loved the Haiti Lady, and the homeless guy who was at "79 percent body crack" or something. I wish I could remember more specifics.
This show hit a lot of nerves, which is what good television should do. I don't even both turning on prime-time television these days.
From Robbin' HUD, the beginning of the episode when slime and gunk comes out of the taps because the water filter for the building is broken.
Thurgood: Stay calm Muriel, I gotta go check and see if it's just us or the whole building.
*opens the front door to reveal Mrs. Avery covered in slime*
Mrs. Avery: Sup-
*slams the door in her face*
Thurgood: Yup, it's the whole building.
It's done so fast it gets me every time.
And from You Go Kart,
Thurgood: Will someone take those stones from Mrs. Avery?
Mrs. Avery: I can pass 'em as fast as you can take 'em!