MovieChat Forums > The Best Man (1999) Discussion > Love this movie, but it sends a horrible...

Love this movie, but it sends a horrible message

posted 8 years ago by TrinidadJanes
1 reply | jump to latest

The movie is just extremely sexist. The fact that Lance cheated with all those women over the course of his relationship, straight up embarrassing and humiliating Mia for years, yet we as viewers are supposed to view his multiple offenses in the same light as her one error? Made my stomach churn that the writers just let that stand. I mean they didn't even have any of the female characters call his hypocritical behind out. I actually came away from it not even considering what Mia did as a bad thing at all, because when her 'partner' was out there cheating on her and openly behaving like a single man, were they even in a relationship for Mia's sex with Harper to even be considered cheating?

His hypocrisy actually wouldn't have even been that bad if they made it just a character flaw for him, instead of an overall plot point that they justified. What made it bothersome is that the filmmakers never confronted that part of problem head on. No one ever checked Lance and said suck it up because for all the crap you put your "ideal woman" through, you should be happy she even graced you with her hand in marriage and that she's even still dealing with you. There was no learning moment for him or the audience.

I still think its a great film and rated it highly, but it would have been perfect had they not just let that sick line of thinking stand. That Mia cheating with one guy was the same as his dozens maybe hundreds of affairs. Granted, it was his best friend that she cheated with, but I have no doubt he slept with a few of her friends/associates/maybe even family members while he was out hoeing so that doesn't stand.

Boom.

[–] cpoet 8 years ago

I don't find this movie as close to perfect as you do, but I agree that it's ridiculous that NO ONE ever drew a diagram for the Football King comparing his sexual escapades and Mia's. Since he loved bible verses so much, I think there's one in there about seeing the speck in someone else's eye and not being able to see the log in your own.

And I had a hard eye-roll about his contention that "marriage is the 'cure' for promiscuity." He sounded like he thinks a magic power will come to him when the ring slips over his finger. But fidelity and resisting temptation would take a lot of strength and be an ongoing effort for someone like Lance, who's not used to either.

Especially now that he can use the excuse of Mia's "imperfection," his horndog ways will resume later, if not sooner. After all, she knew he was like that and she forgave him a million times, so why not again? He'll even have some ammunition ready to fire back at her in the event she feels inclined to be a little less flexible than before.

She's going to stay home and raise babies while he's going on with his new contract and even greater sports fame and celebrity. There's likely to come a time when he rationalizes that "she's not fun like she used to be" or "she cares more about the kids than she does me" or "she's let herself go" and uses that as an excuse to justify his cheating.

I liked the movie well enough, mainly for the acting talent, but the relationship between Lance and Mia has way too many problems--past, present and future--to be the centerpiece of the whole story.