MovieChat Forums > Simon Sez (1999) Discussion > things i learned from this movie...

things i learned from this movie...

posted 18 years ago by Elianehasty
17 replies | jump to latest

-you can get fired from the pistons and the bulls dress up like a bride marry yourself and go on to be the first man to invent a parachute car with the most powerful chute to withstand the massive weight of the car

-when you are hanging from a wall you can jump to a pole over 10 - 20 feet away and slide down the pole backwards shooting a gun to bounce off a overhead shelter and land on a broken table without any severe bodily damage

-somewhere in the italy\france area there is a underground top secret operation where disguised monks help hack you into computers and one is named free willy

-when a grown man is spazzing out on a 8-day dexatrine binge trying to scare you with his raptor style fighting technique just kick him in the balls and call it a day

-you can fight your exgirlfriend and at every 15 seconds stop and say a smart remark and cause sexual tension and then end up hooking up with her in the techno rave dance bedroom

when being chased through a tunnel a can turn into a computer blur on your motorcycle as you ride up and around the tunnel

[–] Dick_Douchestein 18 years ago

-it's possible to do a backflip with a motorcycle and jump a dirt bike without a ramp 50 yards over water onto a boat

-when you're falling off a bridge, always wear a bungee cable so you don't hit the water

-when you mear simon, it's best to dress up in his yellow black spandex suit, dye your hair red get 2 nose rings a lip ring 8 earrings and grow a steve goldberg goatee

-somewhere in europe there's a underground cia camp in a church with quicksand in it, some yabel headed pretty boy that hangs out with saved by the bell the new class girl and does roundhouse kicks with his chris ibsen shirts and yeast infection pants, a gaywad bad guy with a dave matthews hair and a fat white monk and skinny black monk with some josh towne wire rim glasses

[–] im_not_a_rock_star 18 years ago

-When Dane Cook sleeps at night, he wonders why people didn't like Simon Sez...

[–] mightymormon 18 years ago

- the gayer you are, the more evil you are.

aside from the point wat is this? its way too violent to be a childrens movie but its got a stupid power rangers costume in it and the villain reminds me of that time when robert deniro played the (good-corny) vilain in that movie with the cartoon moose and smaller character. its herbie fully *beep* with the added flavour of lo-budget jackie chan stuff. is it for kids or were the makers seriously wasting oxygen when they made this as a movie for people all grown up? i think i already know the answer but im always desperate to give bad movies their every chance for redemption.

this movie has no reccomended audience.

[–] davo__b 18 years ago

-you can get fired from the pistons and the bulls

Oops. Airball. Rodman was not "fired" from the Pistons or the Bulls.

[–] Skunktacular 18 years ago

He's still a freak.

[–] habejr 18 years ago

-1930's editing techniques went out of date in the 1940's

-Conversing with a madman while fighting his goon improves focus and ultimately leads to the goon's defeat

-Denis Rodman is not cool

-The electricity zap effects included in iMovie are not acceptable in a feature film

-Dane Cook has come a long way

-In order to explode a building behind Denis Rodman, one must focus on the building until Denis is out of frame, then cut to a shotty doll house recreation of the building, allowing only nanoseconds to notice the cut before someone throws a lit match inside.

-Italian Monks own Microsoft

-Denis like him some white girls

-I'm buying this film because I never laughed so hard in my life. If that's what they were going for, they succeeded

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] MarthaMelmoth 17 years ago

-riding a fluorescent yellow motorcycle while wearing your matching body suit and helmet makes you invisible to the criminals you're spying on.

-the best criminal name the writers could think of was 'Ashton'.

-nose rings are very distracting.

-bad guys wear ridiculous costumes and Marilyn Manson makeup for easy recognition and targeting.

-there are only three black guys in all of France: a monk, a toy horse seller, and a really tall man easily identified by his excessive number of facial piercings. Everyone else is white, though very tan (except for the pale bad guys, of course). There are no other ethnicities.

-killing people can be fun--it's like Whack-A-Mole! There are no moral qualms or a guilty conscience if they're your enemies!

-the bad guys can't hurt you if you just duck!

-there's a software company that makes caricatures of you to comment and depict diabolically bizarre events. It will even die like you, too!

-if a building blows up, the trees surrounding it will not catch on fire.

-if you're a really tall man fighting a martial arts expert, the latter will never think of hitting your legs to bring you down. He will always go for your chest or face, even though he literally has to climb walls and jump to do it.

[–] Maniak 17 years ago

-save that $10 when you're perusing the used DVDs at Gamestop, because this will turn up on cable one saturday afternoon eventually.

[–] mecooper 16 years ago

-when you are trying to kill someone and you have him unarmed and surrounded by 8-10 men with automatic weapons, its probably best to shoot him directly instead of shooting the guy in front of him holding a grenade...that just may cause enough of a distraction to give him the opportunity to get away

[–] eeleyebrown 16 years ago

-it spawns stupid threads like this.

[–] mave4life 16 years ago

-Anyone who likes this movie is stupid

[–] Sm5454 16 years ago

If your name is Nick Miranda, people will call you "Dane."

[–] mc560 16 years ago

- If you get shot in the back, followed by being in an explosion, you can still live long enough to be in a booby trap holding a grenade and look fine.

______________________________
"Only watch Disaster Movie if you can get a bootleg, my son." - God

[–] SunNumberOne 14 years ago

-when you pay 40 pieces of gold for some sheep it should come with a stick!!

Mr. Pink: You shoot anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?