Quotes


My favorite ones

"I need butter on everything!"

"I'm a hornless unicorn"

"Damn you Bong Boy!"

"Come on baby Jesus I'll fight you right now!"

"Guide me mighty switchblade excaliber."

"At least I didn't make you a cripple!"

"Daddy, why in the night when you put the barrell of the gun in your mouth it makes you cry?"

"Why I'm Cassie's new friend the Unabomber!"

"I refuse to be sexually harassed by a dolphin!"


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"Damn you Yahweh!"

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I've committed bestiality.

No no, you didn't know she was a ape when you had sex with her.

But I had sex with a dog, too.

Well, did you know it was a dog when you had sex with it?

*pause*

Yeah.

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-Do animals go to heaven?
-Yeah and you're gonna go to heaven too cause you're a jack ass. I 'aught to punch you in the face.

-I want you to dance for me boy. Dance for me like your mother use to.

-Jesus said take it to the hole.

-Will you please tell him that vomit is a food.
-Vomit is not a food.
-You need to let it go!

-I'm a rare hornless unicorn.
-You were a horse I read the program.

-Watch out he'll stick an American flag in you!

-Who knows someday she might even own a boat.
-Oh silly I'm just a woman.

-Have you been touching yourself again?
-No... I use my pillow.

-No, just think about it children hate an ugly human, but boy would they sure love a talking monkey.

-And we can stare at an eclipse while screaming at it. And that man was Eli Whitney.

-You shoved Jesus.

-Baby T-Shirt for adult noooo way.

-My new brains explosive.

-Astro-nazis.

-I have only eate'd breakfast upsidedown once or twice since I got back.

-You Noaha's Arch wannabe.

-Everybody form a Gauntlet. This is what Jesus would do.

man I could go on and on, but I'll stop for now.

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shut up


and



hit me!

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"I wanna kick his father's ALIEN LOVIN' A$$!!!!"


...in bed.

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"WRESTLING TEAM!!!"

"Hello caller? TREES ARE DOWN!!!"

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Hmmm lets see..

"I hate her. I hate that she'll always be stronger than us. She'll always be able to sit on us."

"Your ass-kicking genes have mutated to wussy genes in 'civilized times.'"

"Let me finish or I will hammer punch your clavicle."

"Dear all mighty one. I turn to you now, in my moment of need. I call upon all the powers of your dark forces to deliver me into the fires of hell were I was born. My father a demon. My mother a jackal. Sweet sweet Satan. Now is the time for your reign of death and terror to begin. Woooooooo!"

"Most people don't feel comfortable flying comercially with Satan."

"And Tuvac will find his way home."

"Only Mogomra can save us now. Moooh-Gooohm-Raaah!"

"I knew it. He is a cyborg."

"Am I beautiful yet? Am I beautiful yet? I am beautiful. I am--I am beautiful. Will you just say it and we can be done with this! Am I beautiful? I am beautiful."

"Beans!? Beans!? Oh I am not full of.. Beeaans! Oh god--Psychotonomy has a massive legal department! And you folks, are all sued!"

"You need to please stop interrupting my music or I will bomb your country!"

"People didn't even get the lyrics to 'Screwin' Cats Doggy-Style.'"

"You are tenatious I'll admit, but all I have left of the chinese food which you desire, is one single solitary grain of white rice. Slathered in a half-dollop of mushu sauce."

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duo means danger

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I love the way Duke Thompson responds to the "full of beans" remark. Like that was the worst possible thing anyone could ever say.

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"Good place Arkansas"

"I said sweet home Alabama is the best song ever, try and name a better song"

"I can't sweet johnny v"

"I said try"

"ok sympathy for the devil"

"shoot that sounds like something a cop would say, see ya man"


"and in there is the hot chicks room"

"wait, hot chicks room? I don't think we need that"

"thats what you said about the microwave and look how much we use that"


"oh no what a tradgedy on sock and orange night"

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"for the price of a holland tunnel blow job,you can help little donny..."

"mabey your not an ugly human,but a quite pretty wolf."

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"He was just gonna suggest that maybe everybody should just cool out, maybe ...
you make me a pretty salad!"

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"I wanna kick ass SO BAD!"





"In the land of the legless the one-legged woman is queen."

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"Break in the bag, smoke the peace pipe"

"here's a bong I made of out an old dildo I found"




This Sara Lee, She french no? No she's chinese you dumbass.

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"I call it bong-a-long-a-ding-dong"






A movie is not about what it is about. It is about how it is about it.

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...eats 'em. DC wins

the son of man bit my hand

you better put that beer back in the can where it was born in

let me in daddy, it's so cold

i'm the national shark rodeo champion. however i am currently under suspension due to my refusal to wear that cowardly chain mail suit

oh how frugal. no, just brave

yeah, you look really good holding that spanish book

MY SISTER IS DEAF!!!

BLUELINE!!! YOU GOTTA CHUG!!!

autoerotic asphyxiation. it's a common death among college hockey players

i'll pull the switch on pat morita myself

ninjas don't kill people. pat morita playing ninjas kills people

the danger aliens were out on patrol patrol

you're no more spiritual than fran tarkenton

i won't suck a double-headed dildo on a hovercraft

"Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to"

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Einstein: I've got to stop masterbating!

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