I have a problem...
When I was pregnant I was watching this film and I think my unborn child must have been peeking at it through the little holes in the end of my nipples, as ever since he was born he's been indulging in some very disturbing behaviour. He's been dribbling a lot, pooing himself at all times of the day and night, and bursting into tears for no apparent reason. He never says a word, but makes these weird gurgling noises and blows bubbles with his spit.
My question is: Do you think I should have him put down?