MovieChat Forums > Sex and the City (1998) Discussion > Fascinated by posts on taking off shoes ...

Fascinated by posts on taking off shoes in people's homes. Question:


If you come from a culture where it is expected, do you bring a 2nd "clean" pair or just show your bare feet.
How about men? No purse for an additional pair of slippers and no one wants to see my feet.
Thoughts?

"It's the system, Lara. People will be different after the Revolution."

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In most cases you just show your bare feet. Both men and women. Of course, if a friend happens to live in a manor, I'd take some sort of additional shoes with me and use them. But in usual flat or house we just indeed show our bare feet.

Maybe it's just the climate thing. When it's rainy or snowy or just cold most of the year, you can't go someone's living room with your boots and make it muddy, can you? And people tend to be a lot outside (at least in Northern-Europe, where I live), without car, walking or cycling, so yes, the boots are muddy most of the time.

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Lol I always wear (clean) socks so taking my shoes off is not that big of a deal.
However, I do hold the owner of the house responsible for whatever happens to my shoes, I take them off at your request and leave them where you told me to, they better still be there in the same exact conditions I left them when I come back.

Previously known as college dropout kid.

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I'd be pissed if someone walked into my house with shoes on. It's disrespectful.
"Hey, lets ruin your carpets and get dirt on your floor!". In summer I wouldn't really care, but in winter you bring in snow, gravel, slush... And we have a lot of winter over here.

People walk with their socks on or bare foot.

I don't understand how they do in countries where they dont take em off. Do you sit in your couch with dirty shoes? Do you wear them in bed?

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When I watch American movies or TV-shows it seems that behind the front door there is right away a living-room or kitchen, but in my world there is always some sort of lobby, where people can leave their coats and shoes and umbrellas and so on. We never take them to the rooms where we eat. So, we come in, say hello, leave our stuff to the lobby and after that go to living-room.

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Svensk?

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Svensk?

Estnisk.

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I'd be pissed if someone walked into my house with shoes on. It's disrespectful.
"Hey, lets ruin your carpets and get dirt on your floor!". In summer I wouldn't really care, but in winter you bring in snow, gravel, slush... And we have a lot of winter over here.

People walk with their socks on or bare foot.

I don't understand how they do in countries where they dont take em off. Do you sit in your couch with dirty shoes? Do you wear them in bed?


In the US, its not a common or universal practice. Growing up (in Maryland) I'd never heard of a no-shoes rule in anyone's house and many people do just leave their shoes on until bed. I was probably in my early 20s before I heard of it. I've always removed shoes coming in, but out of comfort I just prefer slippers.

Now, I while I prefer for my family to remove their shoes in the house, I don't demand my guest to (out of their comfort) but I do get the level of dirt they could be tracking in. I just deal with regularly vacuuming and mopping.

Also my son, goes to a home-based preschool where it is the rule. If you need to walk around in shoes, they provide slip-ons for your shoes. The owner grew up in Japan.

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I have a hard time understanding that episode because where I come from, you would never ever ever wear your outdoor shoes into someone's home. Never! You always take your shoes off. Outdoor shoes are dirty, you'll make a mess in their home. You only keep your shoes on in public places, not in a private home.

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In Australia it's 50/50 and i've noticed people can get a little awkward at the door as we don't really have a set in stone policy, it depends on the person. If the person is wearing shoes themself, i just walk right in with mine on, if they're barefoot though i always ask if shoes are ok. I've found the people most likely to have a no shoes policy are people with babies/toddlers, if their homes are entirely carpeted/new carpet or fancy-ish, or if they're clean freaks. If it's a gathering though, even people with no shoe policies won't enforce it (generally). Even then it's still a minefield, i've been to grubby houses with indoor pets and it's shoes off, and been to immaculately clean all white carpeted homes and they've scoffed at the idea of me taking my shoes off. It's standard protocol for most people to ask first here.

Something i did find strange was Carrie sanding her floors and painting her kitchen. Is it common practice to change your rental home if you want to? Our rental market here is 'keep it how you found it'. If i was renting a place and just decided to paint the kitchen a different colour, i would get evicted. You need permission just to put a single picture hook in the wall.

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This episode takes place after she bought the apartment, recall that Aiden was smashing down the wall to expand it. It was no longer a rental space and even if it was there are places that allow you to paint your apartment, you just have to change it back to the original color when you leave.

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no it doesn't - he fixes her floors in season three - it's her being out of the apartment because of the noise he's making that leads her to the stanhope where she and big start their affair.

She also paints the kitchen when she doesn't own the apartment.

Yes, in my world you could do these things but you would need permission and the owner of the building would likely pay for the materials.

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eh, whatever.

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Unless people were slushing through mud, shoes aren't going to mess up anyone's floors more than a mopping of vacuuming will clean up, so I dont' see why shoes inside seem to flabbergast people. It might drag in a little dirt, but I sincerely hope people clean their floors often anyway. Plus most people have pretty unattractive feet, I'd prefer they kept their shoes on for a more casual visit. What if you stop by a friend's house to pick them up and they aren't quite ready? Do you have to stand outside in the cold or walk in, take of your shoes, then put them back on 5 minutes later? I think since most people are walking inside public places and to and from their cars, they aren't dirty enough to make a mess in someone's home. If I'm hanging out with a friend I'd take them off, but the "never" just seems so impractical and lacking in any common sense.

-
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that I'll be over here looking through your stuff.

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I have to agree with you on this. We're I come from the children didn't determine whether wearing shoes in house was allowed as they were not permitted to place things they dropped back into their mouths. It would be a fairly awkward situation if you went to someone's home and request that they remove their shoes. I don't know if your familiar with Seinfeld, if you are then you know of what could occur if someone who has feet issues is asked to remove them,lol. It is considered to be a somewhat familiar thing to do, like if maybe you are a frequent visitor and were comfortable enough.

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We must live in vastly different places. Where I'm from, yes, it is very dirty outside most of the time. And yes, you would take your shoes off even if you're coming in for just a few minutes. Either that, or you wait in the person's entryway - you do not ever bring outside shoes into a house unless expressly invited to do so. That's just the culture where I'm from.

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in fact, in the winter, it's not at all uncommon for people to bring another pair of shoes with them. It depends on what you're doing. If you're going to a person's private home, you just take your shoes (or boots) off. If you're going to an event or somewhere more public and it's not practical to wear your good shoes outside, you would bring them with you and change into them. It's winter more than 6 months of the year where I live and there is a lot of snow, slush and mud. You do not wear shoes like that indoors except in places like stores and institutions.

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What country do you live in?

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Northern Alberta - Canada

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Where I live you take your shoes off at door and put whatever you are wearing on boot tray. If you are barefoot in footwear you can be barefoot. If you were wearing socks keep those on. Its considered rude to not take shoes off where I live.

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What an interesting thread. I had no idea it was such a common custom to remove your outside shoes in some areas of the world -- outside of Japan.

I've always lived in S. California, where snow, slush, and mud are either non-existent or uncommon. Very few people here remove their shoes, or request guests to, before coming inside the house. I've gotten in the practice of it, generally speaking, because I have white floors, but have never asked or even thought of asking, a guest to remove theirs, nor have any asked if they should or not, and I certainly wouldn't be offended if they didn't.

It's very interesting to me that so many people on this thread find it to be the usual thing. I've love to know where everyone's from.

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What an interesting thread. I had no idea it was such a common custom to remove your outside shoes in some areas of the world -- outside of Japan.


I had no idea either and I've never heard of such a custom! I too would be curious to hear where everyone who follows that custom is from - and if everyone in their country follows suit or if it's just their own request of their guest(s).

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It's fascinating to me too. I love that episode of the show but I didn't really get it because that thought of walking into someone's home with your outdoor shoes on just confuses me. You would pretty much never do that where I'm from. When the sister asks them to take their shoes off, I'm thinking 'yes, of course, wouldn't you expect to?'.

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On a completely different note, I find it really funny that they won't allow people to wear their shoes in the house because kids and germs. But they will smoke pot in the house where the children live. No issue with second hand smoke exposure, but dirt from shoes is not okay.

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On a completely different note, I find it really funny that they won't allow people to wear their shoes in the house because kids and germs. But they will smoke pot in the house where the children live. No issue with second hand smoke exposure, but dirt from shoes is not okay.


Exactly! As I mentioned in a previous response, the main reason that most people (especially those who live in large cities) issue that request is most likely because they're being pretentious.

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I live in NYC and a few years ago went to visit a friend in his apartment building who, in turn took us to visit one of his neighbors in the same building. The host insisted we take off our shoes.

I didn't have a problem with it but I did ask the reason why. He said it was because they had just purchased new beige rugs but when I got home the soles of my white socks were almost jet black!

I think it had more to do with their being snobbish than anything..

However, the real question is what the heck was I doing wearing white socks after Labor Day!

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I still have trouble believing it is as wide spread as people say, it seems so bizarre. Unless you are familiar with the people, asking guests to remove their shoes would be met with a WTF look. People are funny about there feet, and if I was asked at a certain point when it was in colder time of year or had no socks I would decline. If a guest entered my house and removed there shoes, that would be sooo awkward.

He said it was because they had just purchased new beige rugs but when I got home the soles of my white socks were almost jet black!

Lol, priceless. I thought runners where used on light carpeting so to not be constantly walking on it.

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I still have trouble believing it is as wide spread as people say, it seems so bizarre. Unless you are familiar with the people, asking guests to remove their shoes would be met with a WTF look.


Exactly! That's how I felt at first but then went with the flow. And I'm not so sure it's so widespread, it may just be customary (and traditional) in some countries but is it an absolute requirement in every single home?


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yep - it is where I'm from. I do home sales parties so I am in a lot of people's houses and here you just do not walk into somebody's house with your outdoor shoes on. You absolutely do not - unless specifically invited to do so by your host.

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In the Philippines, for example, most homes will have spare house slippers for guests to put on. It is generally expected that guests remove their outdoor shoes outside.

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Yuck, that is a bit unsanitary. At that point you may as well go barefoot. Do people have an issue cleaning the floors.The only time I see people with dirty floors are simply lazy about cleaning and it's reflected in more than just their floors. People who I have know that spend excessive amounts of time bare often get some sort of infections as a result.

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