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Finally- a 'realistic' portrayal on the aftermath of infidelity.

posted 15 years ago by phasersonstun
13 replies | jump to latest

One of my biggest pet peeves has always been the minimilistic & dismissive way in which infidelity is portrayed in modern H'wood.
Film after film focuses largely on the affair itself, rather than the aftermath or the destruction that an affair can wreak.
This film doesn't stop at some convienent happily-ever-after, some "instant forgiveness" by wounded spouses, or some frustratingly incomplete outcomes. Rather, it's brave enough to offer up the suggestion that some of life's choices, do not happen in some victimless vacuum. If I have to see another Hollywood film where some husband meekingly accepts a wife's infidelity, I'll have a coronary. If I have to watch a wife display a stoicism beyond the norm, a "stiff-upper-lip" dignity that doesn't match the situation, I'll scream. It's OK to get angry, & curse, & cry, & yes, even divorce, when you discover a spouses affair- it happens every day.
Infidelity does not stop at the doorstep of the 2 people engaging in it. Children, spouses,friends, & families all have to deal with the aftermath.
Hollywood has been late to the game on the REALITY of infidelity, whereas more foreign films appear willing to address the poignant agony of betrayal, the impotence of aggrieved parties, & the end-result of wrong choices.
It is why Hollywood will continue to lag behind in filmmaking for ADULTS- while foreign flims will remain the standard.
Bravo.

" Remember, it's not a lie- if you believe it"!- George Costanza

[–] Frau Blucher 15 years ago

"If I have to see another Hollywood film where some husband meekingly accepts a wife's infidelity,"

What films would those be?

If you should feel really happy, be patient. It will pass.

[–] rmavers 15 years ago

"Unfaithful" would be one. I liked it but he does forgive his wife too easily. I wish Hollywood would look at sites like http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/ and read what cheating really does to people.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ozziemaland 14 years ago

The French film, _Shall We Kiss_, had a couple not commit adultery because of their awareness of likely adverse consequences -- the movie exposes those consequences at great length through a flashback. I agree with the premise that Hollywood should not portray adultery as casually as it does in, say for example, _Californication_.
Ozzie Maland
Walnut Creek, CA

[–] Bree_33 10 years ago

Faithless brings back a type of film regrettably not made much any more.

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And yet, the only exciting life is the imaginary one. »

[–] patrickrwalker-41-270591 9 years ago

I was glad to see this post and I agree whole-heartedly.
If you'd like to see other films that also offer us an unblinkingly honest study of infidelity and its devastating consequences, I'd urge you all to seek out:

Tuesday, After Christmas / ‘Marti, dupa craciun’ (2010) - Directed by Radu Muntean

Cloud 9 / ‘Wolke 9’ (2008) - Directed by Andreas Dresen

La séparation (1994) - Directed by Christian Vincent

Leaving / ‘Partir’ (2009) - Directed by Catherine Corsini

All highly, highly recommended. I didn't mention Scenes from a Marriage as I assume anyone that has seen Faithless will be familiar with this other Bergman masterpiece.

If you know of any other films along a similar line then please do let me know.

[–] debmet59-1 9 years ago

Prag may be interesting to you.

[–] gonnabeabumpyride 9 years ago

debmet, I'm happy to see someone else mention the movie Prag. I thought it was a terrific movie. Also, I've see all but one of the movies Patrick mentions and enjoyed them all. Like the OP, I've become disgruntled with Hollywood movies and how unrealistic many of them are in their portrayal of the aftermath of adultery. So many times they seem intent on showing adultery as romantic when in reality it can be one of the most devastating things to happen to spouses and their surrounding loved ones. Bergman, who was no saint when it came to relationships with women by any means, at least had enough self awareness to know his actions did not take place in a vacuum, and other people were hurt by them.

By the way, hats off to Liv Ullman for her brilliant direction of Faithless. Regardless of whatever else happened between them, she most certainly learned much from the master.

Last Movie Watched: Turist (2014)

[–] gonnabeabumpyride 9 years ago

Patrick, I don't know if you've seen Claude Chabrol's L'enfer (1994) but I enjoyed it immensely. It's a bit of a different take on the whole genre. First of all, there's the crucial question the viewer has to answer: Did she or didn't she. The husband has no doubts, and the focus of the movie is the psychological devastation he suffers and the effect of that on the marriage. The added bonus here is having plenty of screen time for Emmanuel Beart, who I happen to think is one of the most beautiful women ever to grace the screen.

Also, you might check out The Kreutzer Sonata (2008) with a somewhat similar theme as L'Enfer, though it deals with different sorts of people in a different setting. In both movies, the psychological problems of a husband are triggered by the real or perceived adultery by a wife. I found L'Enfer the better movie.

Haepi-endeu (1999) from Korea is yet another, and somewhat extreme, example of the results of adultery on a marriage. In this case, there is no "did she or didn't she" story line. It's made clear right from the first scene. Be aware that both this movie and Kreutzer Sonata are somewhat sexually explicit while L'Enfer is not.

Last Movie Watched: Turist (2014)

[–] patrickrwalker-41-270591 9 years ago

Wonderful replies - thanks all.
Yes, I have seen L'enfer and I loved it. Another of my favourites. It's simply the best representation I have seen of the living hell of male obsessive jealousy depicted on film.

Two more films I should now mention to you all along the lines of those I have mentioned already.

Longing (‘Sehnsucht’) 2006 Directed by Valeska Grisebach

Silent Light (‘Luz silenciosa’) 2007 Directed by Carlos Reygadas

I had to pick up a German dvd copy of the first one as it seems to be not yet available in the UK but it had an English subs option.

[–] gonnabeabumpyride 9 years ago

Calendar (1993) is another one I found very moving. As with any Atom Egoyan film, you're not going to get a completely straight-forward story line, but I found this one great for two reasons: The scenery is extraordinary, and the idea of having a photographer witness the disintegration of his marriage, even filming much of it as it happens, is a punch-in-the-gut device to the viewer. What makes it even more devastating is that the wife and the driver/guide she falls for speak in a language he cannot understand, which leaves him even more isolated. I found myself extremely sympathetic to the character who helplessly watched this take place.

Last Movie Watched: The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them (2014)

[–] gonnabeabumpyride 9 years ago

Patrick, as a fellow L'Enfer fan, I can't resist asking you the key question: Did she or didn't she? (I don't think we will be spoiling anything since the movie never truly answers the question. We are all left to our own conclusions.)

I think there is some evidence to support his suspicions early on, including some obvious lies she told her husband even before she knew the seriousness of how it was affecting him. In fact, at first she thought his jealousy was cute. At that stage, she wasn't lying just to protect herself from a husband on the verge of a breakdown. Before long, of course, his reactions became less and less based in reality, so her guilt or innocence was no longer the key as his mental state deteriorated.

You could already be aware of this, but if not you'll find it interesting. L'Enfer is actually based on a script by Henri-Georges Clouzot, who started shooting the movie but had to stop when he had a heart attack. In later years, Clouzot's widow released the incomplete footage he shot, and a combination movie/documentary was done. I haven't see it but have seen a few snippets. It starred Romy Schneider, who looked to be at her most sexually alluring, much as Emmanuel Beart was when she starred in Chabrol's movie. The Clouzot footage I saw seemed to have a more surreal feel to it.

Here is the IIMBD info on it:
Director Henri-Georges Clouzot couldn't finish this movie. First main actor Serge Reggiani suffered from illness and Jean-Louis Trintignant got the role (also left in 5 days without making a single screen test), but then Clouzot had a heart attack. The project was stopped. In 1992 Clouzot's widow sold the script to Claude Chabrol who made the movie as L'Enfer (1994). In 2005, Clouzot's widow disclosed the original raw footage publicly, which led to the reconstruction of this unfinished great movie and telling of the story of its making in a "film about film" Inferno (2009).

Last Movie Watched: Nóz w wodzie (1962)

[–] patrickrwalker-41-270591 9 years ago

Hmmm, it's been a long time but from what I remember, I think I thought that she was a faithful wife.
But what I do remember thinking to myself is that it wasn't important either way; that the film was more a study on the self-consuming, cyclic nature of sexual jealousy. I found it very painful to watch.